My Fluffy is going away

[Fluffysmom]

Hi, I haven't been here in so long, and now I bear unbearable news.  I've posted on my MS forum, so I'm going to cut and paste that in so I don't have to type and cry some more.  For what led up to this latest news, you can read my other post, the link is:  

http://www.medhelp.org/posts/Multiple-Sclerosis/off-topic---worried-about-my-Fluffy/show/1190822


I got the phone call from the vet today.  It seems that Fluffy has squamous cell carcinoma, a very aggressive and nasty cancer.  They wanted to do a more invasive biopsy to be absolutely sure, but it would mean sedating him again, causing him more pain, and for what?  To be absolutely sure that he has something that is going to make the time he has left very short?  I couldn't stand the thought.  The aspiration showed cells that looked a lot like squamous cell carcinoma.  I think that's clear enough.  The vet sounded plenty sure.

I cried some today.  Several times. I went and bought some pau d'arco from Whole Foods, since the vet said that some people had success with reducing tumors with it.  I gave him his first drink of the tincture, and he knocked over the bottle and ran from me.  He looked at me with such a "how can you do this to me?" look that I can't do it again.  It's bad enough that he has to have his antibiotics, thyroid meds, and tylan capsules.  He's been through enough.

I'm going to make him comfortable and love him all I can until it is clear that he has truly had enough, and I'll let him go.  The vet and I already discussed it.

Oh, my little boy-cat, bunny-cat, fuzzy-butt, Fluffmeister.  I pray for peace for him.  I will be peace around him, give him comfort and love.

Kathy

[AppleBr]

Hey , its one OLD POST! You girls want to kill me? Stressed about Joy and returning from a clinic full of "geriatric/ about to die /full of problem pets" and I read this post? Not even noticed the date...

[AppleBr]

Oh, my ...God help you anf dear Fluffy on this hard time.I will pray for you both, be sure...

[Forpaws1]

So sorry. I am reading this years later. I know  that love!!

[Fluffysmom]

Since that morning I put in the earplugs and ignored him, he has been eating his dry food more and more, so now he hardly wants enough canned food to take the medicine for his thyroid and IBD.  Last night he slept on the bed with me until 3am, when he got up and ate some dry food, then came back and I lifted him on the bed.  We slept until 5 when I gave him his medicine, then he came up and went into his bed in the closet until we were both woke up by workmen on the roof.

They started ripping the shingles off the overhangs over the porch and deck, then demolished the deck.  It didn't seem to bother Fluffy much.  He didn't like the noise much, but when I reassured him, he went back to his bed.

My roommate told me last night that she notice his tumor is getting bigger.  Oh, she has a very nice cushy duvet on her bed, and one night she put a sheet over it and lifted him up and he didn't want to leave!  Cats do have expensive taste: he goes in and tries to wake her up every night; I'll bet its so he can get up on that duvet!

Maybe we'll go in and watch TV in her room tonight, the three of us.  Or I could read out loud; he loves that.  

[29sillygirl]

Just saw your post and the story of Fluffy.  You are the best human mum he could have. You know that.  I really relate to your account of eating and sleeping habits going array.

He is going to love being back in your apt.  I live in a small one bedroom so know that our kits adjust to their own space.

Had to giggle at how diligently your were caring for Fluffy and how he would get you up at all hours.

I had quite a bit of sleep deprivation when my kit was diagnosed with a fibrous carcinoma: not sure I have correct name of cancer.  Anyway, he did very well on Medicam(sp?)..one or more drops a day.  At the end I was rushing to Petco for the most expensive wet food they had: a pouch with lamb and gravy.  He would eat kibbles but was quite insistent on eating the gourmet food.  

Your goal is to keep your baby happy and things as natural for him as is possible.
So glad he is not taking the med that made him ill.

Near the end of Bruno's time with me, he developed a habit of getting on my new Pottery Barn duvet:).  We had a lot of giggles about his tastes in bedding.  It was  comfy and he took to it right away.  Like you, I didn't care one whit about him messing up my nice bedding. His tumor was on hip and began draining on bed.  I just kept changing the small pad he curled up on.    Whatever he wanted he got!

But....having said all that you must take care of yourself: enjoy him to the fullest.  Cats have an intuitive, loving way of dealing with us and their ailments.  Fluffy will show you by his behavior what is necessary.  A case like his is hard on his human mum, but I trust his love for you will get you through to acceptance.

[Fluffysmom]

Fluffy's always wanted me to watch him eat, too.  He would wake me up in the middle of the night to watch him eat his dry food.  That was easier, since I could put a few more pieces in his dish, pet him, and go back to bed.

Since he's been sick, he would gobble down the canned food as soon as he was off the Clavamox, but he's lost his big appetite, not wanting to eat as much, so I have to baby him along again.

Yesterday he started eating his dry food again; just kept scooping his mouth in the dish until he'd get some where it didn't hurt and crunch or swallow it whole. I don't think he actually swallowed a lot.  He kept at it, so he must have really missed that food.  I'll have to start giving him his tylan capsules again, but that's OK, I suppose.  I want him happy.

[Jade59]

Love your sweet sweet post.  You take such precious care of your boy.  I'm happy you were able to encourage him to eat all his food.  

I'm so sorry...had forgotten you rolled his food into little balls to make it easier.  Course you can't just leave the wet food out.  Has Fluffy always wanted you to sit there with him while he eats or just since he's sick?  Jade is not sick and she does that too.  Just at night though.  There's plenty of food, but she comes and gets me and wants me to pet her while she eats and of course I do :)

Glad you got some rest, Kathy.  I do know how draining this all can be.  You're taking such loving care of your best friend.  I know he loves you so much for the connection you've been able to share with him.  Isn't that just the best?  It'll be nice once you guys get back in your own home.  No place like home ♥

[Fluffysmom]

Fluffy eats Iams prescription low-residue food, so that comes in a bigger can than the fancy feast, so I suppose one can is enough.

He won't eat it unless I am there with him.  I rolled some of a new can (btw, its $1.68 a can) into little balls when I got home from running some errands.  He hadn't eaten for quite a while, so he talked about it while I was fixing the food.  When I put it down, he hesitated, then ate about half of it and walked off.  I got down on the floor, and he ate about half of what was left, then I hand fed him the rest.

I have fed him a lot before bed, thinking it would hold him longer, but it didn't seem to make a difference, he still wanted to eat a few hours later.  

Having a vacation from IBS is a definite plus.  I'll skip the tylan for several days, see if he's still good.  One less drug is good, in my mind, as long as he eats and poos OK.

I do feel better today after having gotten more sleep, and I got more accomplished.  I went to my apartment and shampooed the carpets.  I think we'll do better in my little one-bedroom.  We've been staying with a friend in her townhouse, but the whole community is being remodeled on the outside; windows, siding, and roofs.  The noise from the construction will be stressing him out as they get closer and start working on this townhouse.  We'll both do better without stairs to climb up and down, too.

He'll miss going outside on the deck or front porch here, since I have a third floor apartment in the city, but he'll be glad to be back in his little world with his tent and bed next to the couch, another bed in the closet, a box so he can easily climb onto and off of the bed, etc.  I can lift him up onto his cat tree so he can watch the squirrels running around in the maple trees outside the windows.

[opus88]

oh same wishes from me too, I was wondering how the poor little guy was doing.
Just a thought for you to be aware of (not for awhile I hope)....when my little Bailey got a tumor in her upper nasal cavity as it grew she lost her sense of smell and therefore stopped eating....our Vet said when they loose the scent of the food they wouldn't eat! I didn't know that. poor baby was so hungry she kept asking for her food than would walk away, I fed her by syringe for awhile until she got too thin and also started bleeding from her nose, than I knew it was time.
I'm so glad fluffy is eating and holding his own, I hope you and him get many good months together.
hugs and prayers.

[Jade59]

Well Jade eats an entire can of those little fancy feast ones plus a little hard food so a whole can for Fluffy sounds good and possibly another 1/2 can since he can't eat the hard food.  Don't know your schedule, but what if you feed Fluffy the additional 1/2 can before bed or as much as he'll eat and maybe that would calm down the sleep interruptions?  I know you don't want to leave the wet food out...it just hardens and goes to waste.  But hey, I wonder if you left some out with a little water in it, it might stay good for a few hrs and satisfy Fluffy enough to make it through the night?  Just a thought :)

And yes, strictly wet food will help the IBS so that's a plus, yes?

Poor kitty.  I'm sorry to tumor is bothering him so much.  Sending you and Fluffy warm and prayerful thoughts...♥

[Fluffysmom]

Fluffy has been waking me up at all hours, begging to be fed.  It's really messing with my health.  After feeding him at 1 am and 3 am today (and he didn't really eat that much), I had had enough.  I put in earplugs, put a pillow in front of my bedside table so he couldn't pull everything off of it, and slept until 8 am.  I notice that he tried unsuccessfully to eat some dry food.  He's curled up in his bed in the closet.

Oh, good news is that while not eating his dry food, his inflammatory bowel disease doesn't seem to be as active.  He was constipated, so I didn't give him his Tylan capsule a few nights, and not a sign of diarrhea.  That's a plus!  He did have a bowel movement finally, too, a normal one.

Most of the time I'm loving him and babying him.  The tumor seems to be effecting his nostril now; he sneezes a lot, and tries to rub it with his paw.  He tries to rub the whole thing off, and his eye gets all red, poor little guy.

He's eating about a whole short can of cat food a day; does anyone know if that's enough, too much, or what?  He sure misses being able to graze whenever on his dry food.

[aligator79]

Jade- I read the same thing too.   The fluff-ster was watching TV while she napped.  :)   The funny thing is they will do that on occasion.  My mom sleeps with the TV on and I will catch Oliver watching.  

[Jade59]

So it Was the Clavamox!  Glad that's over with and Fluffy's appetite has returned.  Aww...you roll the food into little balls...I love that.  I'm sure there's not a single owner here that wouldn't go to any length to make their pet comfortable.  It's our job and pleasure :)  I know how tiring it can be taking care of a special needs kitty and somehow we come up with little ways to make things easier both for ourselves and kitty.  I can feel in your words, the special bond you two have.  

Hahaha...originally, I read your post saying it was YOU napping and Fluffy was watching tv.  I thought "oh, how cute" LOL!  

Deep prayers, Fluffy's quality of life continues to be as easy and happy as it is today, as long as possible.

Thinking of you and Fluffy...♥

[Fluffysmom]

Well, the clavamox was the problem!  He still can't eat his dry food because of pain from the lump, but his appetite is back totally.  He want's to eat every four hours, and won't take no for an answer!  At dinnertime he has a routine; he wants to eat until his tummy is full, then be lifted onto the couch next to me, where he naps while I watch TV.

I have to roll his canned food up in little balls for him to eat it, which is kind of hard to do at 2 am.  I do it ahead of time, and microwave his little plate of food balls briefly so he'll eat them.  Yawn!  

I think all the well wishes and prayers are doing him good; he doesn't look as miserably uncomfortable.  His left eye seems to be smaller than the right because of the lump, and it still weeps some, but with a full tummy and a loving mom, he's pretty comfy.

[opus88]

poor little fluffy...I wish they could tell us how they feel and if there is pain, we only have symptoms to go by. the clavamox can definitely cause vomiting and lack of appetite....so lets hope that this is the problem.
Your Vet sounds like she is knowledgeable and on top of things so that should give you some comfort.
So relax mommy. we all hope for you and fluffy that you will have alot of quality time left together....he knows he is loved.
my prayers too.

[Fluffysmom]

Hello Jade,

We appreciate your thoughts and prayers.

I called the vet after weighing Fluffy; he's 13.4 pounds now.  She said that he could quit the Clavamox, that he had been on it long enough. Hopefully, when he's off the Clavamox, he'll stop throwing up and regain his appetite.   She wants me to start giving him the pau d'arco again, in hopes that it can shrink his tumor.

She said that if he doesn't stop vomitting, she can give him and anti-emetic shot that last for 24 hours, might break the cycle.  Another option is to give him steroids, prednisone.

Fluffy's in his bed in the closet, sleeping soundly.  It wouldn't hurt me to take a nap, either.  :o)

Kathy

[Jade59]

Hi Kathy,

Oh, I know how hard it is to watch your baby suffer.  Maybe something other than the Clavamox can be offered.  Once his tummy feels better, I hope he'll want to eat.

You're both in my thoughts and prayers, Kathy.

♥

[Fluffysmom]

Thank you all for your caring support and understanding.

This is so hard.  Fluffy has been throwing up every morning since Friday, and did twice this morning.  I think it could be from the Clavamox.  I'll call the vet again today.

He doesn't even try to eat his dry food anymore, and this morning I opened a new can of food, thinking to tempt him with it; he's always loved a fresh can.  He meowed frantically while I fixed him a little plate of it, then when I set it on the floor, he sniffed it and turned his back.  I offered him a small piece of it, and he turned away.

I finally got him to eat some chicken baby food, maybe a half a tablespoon altogether, fed with a little spoon I got sampling gelatto.  He's now curled up in a corner of the living room where he never went before, between the end of the couch and the wall.

He's lost so much weight and was over 16 pounds before, then 14 when I took him in for his teeth cleaning and extraction last week.  He seems even smaller.

Ah, he just came out and wanted to go out on the deck and breath the fresh air, look at the trees and birds.  Makes me feel a little better.

Kathy

[FurballsMom]

I'm so sorry you are going through this turmoil.  It's painful to have to watch our beloved pets go through such misery, and it's just as painful to lose them even when we know that it's coming.  I went through the same kind of thing when I lost my red point Siamese.  I also realized that even if I had had a whole lot of money to do everything medically possible that the outcome would've been the same.  A couple of kitty's on this forum have the same condition that my Siamese went through, so these kitty owners know what I'm talking about only too well.  I find that I can't read through the whole stories of any of these kitties, because I feel the emotional pain that people feel about their beloved kitties.  I understand this pain, because I went through it myself when my kitty developed colon cancer.  I had to decide to do the same thing you're agonizing over.  No one wants to part with a beloved pet.  

I'm so sorry your heart is breaking.  If I could give you a real hug, I would.

[Jade59]

Hello Kathy, I am so sad to hear this about your dear boy.  This Squamous Cell is what Jade had on her ears as well.  I wonder if you might not have more time with Fluffly than you think.  Jade had this cancer and obviously had been living with it for years before we met her, then it took another 3yrs for the scabs to begin falling off and the areas not heal.  Maybe it's different with a tumor inside the body, though :(

I pray you will have some significant time left with your best furry friend.  You've had the complete and total pleasure of enjoying his beautiful soul for 16yrs and I hope you will have more months ahead.  Fluffy is a beautiful kitty and I've looked at his pics often. *tears falling now*

We're here if you need us. You're both in my thoughts and prayers. ((Hugs))

[PrettyKitty1]

This is just so sad. I'm deeply sorry that you both are going through so much right now. Fluffy is a beautiful cat, and I'm sure he is an essential part of your life.  Like Opus, I am sorry I can't ease your pain. Just know we are all be here for you, for support.

God bless you both.

[spirit3]

This just breaks my heart-I'm literally crying at my computer for you!! Iknow how this feels. You're both in my heart and prayers.

[opus88]

Oh dear Kathy....I am so sorry for you both, I know the pain of loosing a good little friend and its never easy especially when we have to make this decision. just know you are doing it for him and for his best interests...he will understand.
He knows he is loved and treasured and he trusts you to do whats right for him.
Hold him and love him for as long as you can, and spoil him too!!...........this will be very hard on you and I am so sorry that I can't lessen that road. YOu will both be in all our hearts, give him a hug from me and my boys....You ARE doing the right thing because its whats best for him!