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Is my child a sociopath?
My son is 10 years old and for as long as I can remember we have been having issues with his behavior. In the beginning it was stealing little things like snack cakes and pens off my desk and it progressed to stealing bigger things like my husbands watch. Added to this he lies almost constantly, sneaks around and is always making up stories to see if he can trick someone into believing him. We took all of that in stride and tried to believe that he was a normal child with behavior problems. We tried postive and negative reinforcement, time-outs, grounding, taking things away and just about everything else at one time or another. We even moved to another state to give him a new start in a new school, with new friends and in a house with his own room instead of in a tiny apartment but things just got worse and worse.
Last year he was having problems in school and nearly failed. He has already taken first grade twice and second grade twice and he nearly had to take second grade for a third time because he didnt want to do the work. Not because he can't or because he is distracted but because he thinks his teachers are too stupid to teach him anything. This year he has been better but I think it is because he has tricked the teacher into giving him most of the answers on his work and making things very easy on him because he is so small and she feels that he is being mistreated at home. They even called child services because of the stories that he told them.
We also found out that he has been peeing in his room. At first he was peeing on the clothes in his laundry basket and then he began peeing in the corners and in his clothes depending on how badly the need was. His reason for this is alternately that he is trying to teach me a lesson and that I should let him wander the house and do whatever he wants and that it is his room and he should be allowed to do anything he wants in there even pee.
When we realized that he was peeing in his room we took him to a mental hospital for inpatient treatment and they kept him for 8 days before releasing him. I was told that they could not keep him there because he was not a danger to anyone and besides he promised not to pee and would follow all the rules ect. That only lasted a few hours after he got home and he was peeing again. We moved him out of his room and into the living room so that he wouldnt have the opportunity to do it anymore and we thought that was the end of that until he tried to starve our ferrets by pretending to feed them but not actually doing it. His reason was that he was tired of them and wanted to see how long it would take them to die. I sat him down to talk about this and he told me that he was also planning to kill the cat, myself and my 10 month old because he was also tired of us. I took him back to the mental hospital where they kept him for 24 days with absolutely no improvement. This time they released him because he said that he no longer planned to kill anyone and was all better. The couselor suggested that I send him to a boys camp because even though he said he was better and they were sending him home they did not feel that he was really better.
So here we are trying to decide what we should do with our son. He is 10 years old and the size of an 8 year old, has mild Cerebral palsy and needs shots in order to grow. If I send him to this camp he will not get the chance to grow normally and wont get all the treatment for his CP. Neither of which will matter if he doesnt get the mental help he needs. I hate the idea of sending my son away because I am his mother and feel that I should be the best thing for him. The problem is that he wants to kill me and thinks that it is okay if he does. He does not express remorse for anything that he has done and never has, is extremely maniputlative and is not affected by punishments or consequences of any kind because he feels that they are only temporary and do not matter. I am nearly convinced that he is a sociopath but he is SO manipulative that the doctors havent been able to see the real child and instead see the fake one that he is so good at portraying. What can I do in this situation?
Last year he was having problems in school and nearly failed. He has already taken first grade twice and second grade twice and he nearly had to take second grade for a third time because he didnt want to do the work. Not because he can't or because he is distracted but because he thinks his teachers are too stupid to teach him anything. This year he has been better but I think it is because he has tricked the teacher into giving him most of the answers on his work and making things very easy on him because he is so small and she feels that he is being mistreated at home. They even called child services because of the stories that he told them.
We also found out that he has been peeing in his room. At first he was peeing on the clothes in his laundry basket and then he began peeing in the corners and in his clothes depending on how badly the need was. His reason for this is alternately that he is trying to teach me a lesson and that I should let him wander the house and do whatever he wants and that it is his room and he should be allowed to do anything he wants in there even pee.
When we realized that he was peeing in his room we took him to a mental hospital for inpatient treatment and they kept him for 8 days before releasing him. I was told that they could not keep him there because he was not a danger to anyone and besides he promised not to pee and would follow all the rules ect. That only lasted a few hours after he got home and he was peeing again. We moved him out of his room and into the living room so that he wouldnt have the opportunity to do it anymore and we thought that was the end of that until he tried to starve our ferrets by pretending to feed them but not actually doing it. His reason was that he was tired of them and wanted to see how long it would take them to die. I sat him down to talk about this and he told me that he was also planning to kill the cat, myself and my 10 month old because he was also tired of us. I took him back to the mental hospital where they kept him for 24 days with absolutely no improvement. This time they released him because he said that he no longer planned to kill anyone and was all better. The couselor suggested that I send him to a boys camp because even though he said he was better and they were sending him home they did not feel that he was really better.
So here we are trying to decide what we should do with our son. He is 10 years old and the size of an 8 year old, has mild Cerebral palsy and needs shots in order to grow. If I send him to this camp he will not get the chance to grow normally and wont get all the treatment for his CP. Neither of which will matter if he doesnt get the mental help he needs. I hate the idea of sending my son away because I am his mother and feel that I should be the best thing for him. The problem is that he wants to kill me and thinks that it is okay if he does. He does not express remorse for anything that he has done and never has, is extremely maniputlative and is not affected by punishments or consequences of any kind because he feels that they are only temporary and do not matter. I am nearly convinced that he is a sociopath but he is SO manipulative that the doctors havent been able to see the real child and instead see the fake one that he is so good at portraying. What can I do in this situation?
We have a 15 y/o (almost 16) daughter that has done nothing but terrorize us for the past 8 years. We've only ever gotten ONE doctor to diagnose her as a psychopath/sociopath and no one else is wanting to believe the diagnoses. The early signs were there, we just didn't know to look for them. The lying, stealing, threatening and those cold, emotionless eyes. She has physically assaulted both my husband (her step-father) and I, me more then him since she knows she's not a match for him. She figured out in 1st grade that she could tell lies about us and get DCF/CPS involved and buried in our lives and has been using that as a constant threat to try and get her way. To date she has made well over 20, if not 30 or more, false allegations against us.Every last one has been proven false, every time. Her first was that I was her sister and my husband was our biological father and that I was pregnant with his child and on Valentines Day he was beating me and throwing me against the wall. She has accused my husband of raping her, my brother of raping her and my father of molesting her. She has told people that my husband does drugs and is an alcoholic and she has to take care of her younger siblings. She has accused me of mentally abusing her and forcing her to have sex with someone. She steals anything, and even when caught red-handed she lies and says she didn't do it. Even if she's caught on camera she will swear up and down that she didn't steal it and that the camera is lying on her. When confronted with her lies to counselors and CPS case workers, she will bald face lie and say she never said anything and she doesn't know why they are investigating us. She has pulled knives on her siblings and threatens to shank them. She has told my husband and I that she would like nothing more then to slice our throats and watch us die. An she has threatened to kill us in our sleep on more then one occasion. She has told our other kids that she'll cut their heads off. She woke our oldest son, her younger brother, up one night by grabbing and twisting his groin saying she can make sure he never has kids and that she would do it if he said anything to us about it. She has constantly skipped school, drinks, is a pill popper and has threatened suicide multiple times. She has 20+ Baker Acts in Florida, one in Wyoming and now one in Tennessee. Family has tried to helps us by letting her stay with them only to have her turn around and stab them in the back by stealing, lying and making more false allegations against them and us, even though she's not living with us during those times. She has runaway, constantly tells us that she doesn't want to live with us and she hates us and when we give in and let her stay with family, she turns around and tells everyone we abandoned her to them. She has already put one kid in jail because she lied to him about her age and got him to pick her up and have sex with her. And then knowing full well that he would go to jail if she told anyone, went to school the very next day and told everyone there, teachers and students, about it. Our other kids hate and fear her. They don't want her in their lives or ours. Every day that she's with us, the kids come home from school and ask if they're going to have to talk to CPS workers again because their sister went to school and made another accusation. We're currently sitting here with a CPS investigation going on because of her latest lie about me. And she's not even living with us right now and hasn't been in the house for about 5 months. The family that she's staying with are about to send her back to us because they can't handle it because she just attempted suicide there and was in a group home for 2 1/2 weeks for "evaluation." And before she tried the suicide bit again, she was trying to get as many guys there to sleep with her as she could. When her cousins were getting into fights at school because guys there were talking about how they were going to sleep with her an d calling her a ****, she told them to not bother with it because she was "used to being called a **** and a *****" and it didn't bother her. As my brother-in-law found out, she didn't mind because she was the one starting the rumors herself, offering to sleep with dozens of guys in notes she was passing back and forth with them. As it stands, were' constantly living in fear of having our other kids taken from us or that she'll seriously injure or even kill one of us, one of her sibling's, or even someone else at random just because she's gets mad because she didn't get her way.It feels like no one wants to listen to us or believe us and just want to blame us and our parenting for her behavior. Which, if that were true, why don't her 4 other siblings act that way? We are at our wits end and don't know what to do. We've been robbed of the joys of parenthood because of her and we honestly don't know if we can handle two more years of her living in our house. She has mentally and physically abused every single member of our house and our extended families.We're constantly being judged as bad parents all because of her and no one wants to take a moment and listen or believe us or review her history to see the proof. And no one will protect us from her, they all want to protect her and she's definitely not the one needing protection.
COMMUNITY LEADER
The group home should have contacts to get him evaluated by a psychiatrist. If not, that is what you need to do. This is not something for the police. He needs medical help, and I mean the type that a psychiatrist offers.
I am dealing with something similar. My son said he will kill me because he has a girl friend now and if he kills me I would be out of the way and he would have a great life. My son will bug me until he gets what he wants. If I don't give him whatever that is his whole life will be focus on that one thing. My son is 14 and he is extremely smart in school but doesn't put any effort or stay in school. He was punching me in the face again and again and when he stopped there was nothing in his eyes. If someone has seen this they know what I mean. He is not sorry. He says its my fault for everything. never takes responsibility or says sorry. If I make him say sorry he says there done bye. He doesn't mean it. When he gets what he wants he is the sweetest boy ever. I called the police because he was saying he was going to kill us after he finished punching me. They took him to the hospital and they said what do you want me to do with him. I took him home and asked how he was. (it was night time) He just finished having a shower and he was smiling and I asked him what he had behind his back. He said nothing and smiled. I reached behind him and it was a knife. I took it and said what were you going to do with that? He smiled and said "you have it now ***** so **** off". I am a single mom and took my other two children from there beds and put them in my room and looked my door and put a dresser in front of it. The next day I got him to go to a group home. They are working with him so we can get him back in the home. The first month they were like he is so sweet and maybe I need parenting help. I have taken tons of classes tried different things with my son. They made me feel like I was the bad person. But now he is doing what he did to me to them. They phoned me freaking out asking what they should do as they can not control him. I wish I could get some help so my son can have an ok life where he will not hurt anyone. If anyone has any ideas let me know.
Thanks...
Thanks...
COMMUNITY LEADER
Just curious as people with ADHD tend to self medicate. And they start at a pretty young age. Has this idea ever come up - that he might have ADHD or ADD?
My son is 14 now but he has been trouble for a good 7-8 years.
It was mostly bad behavior in school but also treating his two sisters badly at home. He does not like the classroom setting at all and shows little, if any, respect to his teachers. The past year or o have been the worst. We have taken him to counseling in the past with no success. This past year, he was selling cash as well as jewelry and his sister's Ipod to fund his pot habit. Just within the last 6 weeks, he got in trouble in his friends' neighborhood for taking down stop signs and other mischief. The police said they couldn't arrest him because of his age. We entered him in PINS (Person In Need of Supervision), a county program to help keep youth out of the courts. 2 weeks into school (he is a freshmen in HS), he got into trouble for bullying another student on Xbox. This lead to a heated argument at home where he threatened to hurt himself. We had him admitted o a psychiatric hospital for youth for 10 days. This did absolutely nothing because he just said and id what he had to do until he got out. So there is the manipulation. He also lies about everything. He is on 20 mg Abilify and 25 mg Lamotrigne which does not seem to help. If he had his way, he would play Xbox all day and smoke pot with his friends all night.
He is now in another program run by the county called IDT (Intensive Day Treatment). This is for only 30 school days. Today was his first day and he came home complaining that he is with a bunch of f@^#+8g retards (no offense intended I am just quoting my son). Our answer to him was that he put himself in this situation and that he is finishing the program. The IDT program includes one-on-one therapy, group therapy and school.
There is no broken home, abandonment, step-sibling, step-dads, etc.
However, there is little to no involvement with our extended family.
During the intake process for the IDT program, he revealed that he started smoking pot in the 7th grade which means he was only 12 since his birthday is after the school year ends.
Sorry if I am rambling but I could go on and on...
One therapist said she thought he has a personality disorder but I read that they do not usually diagnose a child with that since personalities are not set yet. He definitely has sociopath traits. I am just not sure if anything can be done to undo anything.
It was mostly bad behavior in school but also treating his two sisters badly at home. He does not like the classroom setting at all and shows little, if any, respect to his teachers. The past year or o have been the worst. We have taken him to counseling in the past with no success. This past year, he was selling cash as well as jewelry and his sister's Ipod to fund his pot habit. Just within the last 6 weeks, he got in trouble in his friends' neighborhood for taking down stop signs and other mischief. The police said they couldn't arrest him because of his age. We entered him in PINS (Person In Need of Supervision), a county program to help keep youth out of the courts. 2 weeks into school (he is a freshmen in HS), he got into trouble for bullying another student on Xbox. This lead to a heated argument at home where he threatened to hurt himself. We had him admitted o a psychiatric hospital for youth for 10 days. This did absolutely nothing because he just said and id what he had to do until he got out. So there is the manipulation. He also lies about everything. He is on 20 mg Abilify and 25 mg Lamotrigne which does not seem to help. If he had his way, he would play Xbox all day and smoke pot with his friends all night.
He is now in another program run by the county called IDT (Intensive Day Treatment). This is for only 30 school days. Today was his first day and he came home complaining that he is with a bunch of f@^#+8g retards (no offense intended I am just quoting my son). Our answer to him was that he put himself in this situation and that he is finishing the program. The IDT program includes one-on-one therapy, group therapy and school.
There is no broken home, abandonment, step-sibling, step-dads, etc.
However, there is little to no involvement with our extended family.
During the intake process for the IDT program, he revealed that he started smoking pot in the 7th grade which means he was only 12 since his birthday is after the school year ends.
Sorry if I am rambling but I could go on and on...
One therapist said she thought he has a personality disorder but I read that they do not usually diagnose a child with that since personalities are not set yet. He definitely has sociopath traits. I am just not sure if anything can be done to undo anything.
I found this blog randomly because I searched about children having these kinds of problems. My daughter goes to a school where there is a girl who agressed her two times this week. She is not in the same class as my daughter but they are both in 7th grade. The first incident was in the bus on the way home from school. The girl intently pinched her fingers for no reason, then said sorry she didn't mean it. Being new to this school, the other kids warned my daughter to avoid this girl because she is someone so violent and talked about killing her parents or burning the school down, and that she has been seeing has been regularly seeing a therapist for that.
Today, my daughter came home from school telling me that this same girl attacked her again at recess. The girl tried to open my daughter's bag and when my daughter pulled her bag back , the girl pulled my daughter's hair and pinned her down on the ground until one of the teachers saw and stopped her.
I know some parents are having a real hard time with their children are having these kinds of disorder and I really feel for them. I hope and pray that you will find the ample cure and therapy for them.
Like my daughter says, it is not the girl's fault because it's something that she can't control. But she's scared of her especially that they take the same bus everyday and hope nothing worse will happen. And so do I.
Today, my daughter came home from school telling me that this same girl attacked her again at recess. The girl tried to open my daughter's bag and when my daughter pulled her bag back , the girl pulled my daughter's hair and pinned her down on the ground until one of the teachers saw and stopped her.
I know some parents are having a real hard time with their children are having these kinds of disorder and I really feel for them. I hope and pray that you will find the ample cure and therapy for them.
Like my daughter says, it is not the girl's fault because it's something that she can't control. But she's scared of her especially that they take the same bus everyday and hope nothing worse will happen. And so do I.
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