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Avatar universal

"Step son" does every and anything to get in trouble

This post is going to sound absolutely beyond horrible.
I have a son whom I have full custody and my boyfriends son who is the same age as my son I texhnically have full custody of also. My son sometimes is with his dad but my boyfriends son I have everyday all day. He does not go with his mother and my boyfriend works seven days a week. My son is no angel but he listens I raised him the complete opposite of how my boyfriends son is. ( little background both boys are four years old I've been with my boyfriend for 15 months we have lived together 6 months) my boyfriends son does not listen at all he doesn't listen to his dad doesn't listen to me. We have literally tried everything and he still doesn't listen. He gets into everything breaks destroys everything. Hate to say I can not stand him and I'm always with him just looking at him pusses me off I even started smoking cigarettes the past few months because my boyfriends son is so out of control and it stresses me out beyond believe. Did anyone else have this "problem" with your other halts childten? O
19 Responses
189897 tn?1441130118
COMMUNITY LEADER
  How old is he? Does he have the same problems in school?  How are his grades?  What grade is he in?
134578 tn?1546634665
If you are with him all day every day, I assume this means he is not in preschool.  Is preschool a possibility?  Possibly, if you can just get a break, you might not be so angry at him.  How is it that you became the fulltime babysitter while your boyfriend works 7 days a week?  It is possible that your annoyance at this status quo (and at your boyfriend's ex for how the child was raised) is making you react more angrily to the boy than you would otherwise.  Is there any other family support to help with this kid?  Like, a grandma or aunt?  What does your boyfriend say to all of this?
Avatar universal
He is 3. He is in preschool and yes he has the same problem in school about 95% of the time they say the last ten fifteen minutes of school he is ok.
Avatar universal
He is in preschool an hour two days a week so that's why I say all day everyday.
Avatar universal
Anniebrooke I will explain in more detail in a few cause it will take a few for me to type everything out
Avatar universal
Type o they are four he just turned four recently why I put three!
Avatar universal
I work from home always have. My boyfriends sons mother has been gone for years now so my boyfriends son was raised by his grandma and different babysitters practically since my bf always works. So when we decided to move in together of course we decided he'd stay home with me since my son obviously would be staying home with me. No one in my boyfriends family will watch his son anymore since we got together they say he's not their responsibility anymore. My family willingly takes him few hours every week if I ask ( but I hate to ask because I know how rotten he is) My boyfriend is on the same page as me and he doesn't seem to understand why my son is so much more "laid back" "listens better" when they are the same age so he gets irritated too. I dread every morning because it's getting to the point where I just look at him and I have an anxiety attack. I know he's never had a stable mom figure in his life and I try so so so hard to connect with him but he just doesn't want to listen he gives me this stare and keeps on doing it. Pushes to see how far he can take it. Same way with his dad his dad has to tell him dozens of times before he finally will stop and go ro something else he's not suppose to.
Avatar universal
tonight was just the worst night I've ever had with him so I started googling trying to find similar posts see if anyone had any advice.
134578 tn?1546634665
Does the boy act this way for the grandma who raised him also?  
Avatar universal
Yes he use to call his grandma mom up until his dad and I got together then he stopped. He never sees her anymore but if he even sees a car like hers he gets so mad . She constantly was yelling at him because he never listened
134578 tn?1546634665
It sounds like he should be evaluated.  Does the preschool have a list of developmental specialists who do such things?  Possibly this is all due to the trauma of his upbringing, or possibly there is more going on.  I am sorry it has fallen on you, but I'm sorrier for him, he sounds like a true orphan of the storm and it is not quitting.
189897 tn?1441130118
COMMUNITY LEADER
    Well, there is a  reason that it is called the terrible 3's.  The unfortunate thing is that this little guy went through it (and the two's) without much guidance.  While some baby sitters can be pretty good, having many means no consistency.  Yes, I agree that he should be evaluated for something like ADHD.
    But, the way he has been passed around, there is a pretty good chance that he has not had any consistent behavioral modifications.  Go on Amazon and get the book,  "SOS Help for Parents," by Lynn Clark.    It will give you a system that will work.  Essentially, to change a childs behavior it takes about 3 weeks of very consistent reinforcement using timeouts.  The book explains in detail how to do this.
     This will help you.
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189897 tn?1441130118
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