Aa
is it time to give up
Hello all,
Im not very social which is why I ask many questions here as I believe people over the internet are more honest and helpful than those not behind a computer screen. I am 20 years old and live in the great Country of Canada. I have recently gone on a crusade to become good looking. I have lost 177lbs and have been taking much better care of myself since I was 18.
As I have been doing this I feel like its becoming more and more obvious that the chance of me being in a relationship is falling quickly. I have been made fun of my entire life by everyone, including mother. My friends say Im ugly and disgusting, etc. I have an appointment to get braces in July. And I have joined a gym to try and get toned so I can tighten the loose skin in the stomach area. As I do this I look and ask around and realize that my chances are almost nothing. One of my friends said that the only way I will get a girl is if "she is fat, desperate or just stupid". All of this has kinda made me lose respect for the female population. I used to be so nice to girls but now I fear they think I am gay or just stupid so I dont help them or talk to them.
Is it ok for me to just give up and sink in to oblivion or what can I do?
Please no "girls like you for you" or anything like that as I feel it is a womens way of dishing out propaganda and is just as bad as "I like you as a friend at best"
Im not very social which is why I ask many questions here as I believe people over the internet are more honest and helpful than those not behind a computer screen. I am 20 years old and live in the great Country of Canada. I have recently gone on a crusade to become good looking. I have lost 177lbs and have been taking much better care of myself since I was 18.
As I have been doing this I feel like its becoming more and more obvious that the chance of me being in a relationship is falling quickly. I have been made fun of my entire life by everyone, including mother. My friends say Im ugly and disgusting, etc. I have an appointment to get braces in July. And I have joined a gym to try and get toned so I can tighten the loose skin in the stomach area. As I do this I look and ask around and realize that my chances are almost nothing. One of my friends said that the only way I will get a girl is if "she is fat, desperate or just stupid". All of this has kinda made me lose respect for the female population. I used to be so nice to girls but now I fear they think I am gay or just stupid so I dont help them or talk to them.
Is it ok for me to just give up and sink in to oblivion or what can I do?
Please no "girls like you for you" or anything like that as I feel it is a womens way of dishing out propaganda and is just as bad as "I like you as a friend at best"
I was just curious if his idea of what the "American Dream" was the same as mine.
I gave up on ever attaining it after my 2nd divorce.
I gave up on ever attaining it after my 2nd divorce.
Hi mike,
I really think you should try everybodies advice, you will never know unless you try. Thats all anybody can do, is at least try. If you want help with this, you need to help yourself as well otherwise nothing is going to get better. Dont listen to your so called "friends." There not your friends!! Get some REAL friends, because the ones you call friends that have told you all that ignorant, immature stuff are NOT real friends. They are probably trying to make themselves feel better about something, by making you feel bad about yourself. there just nothing but big mean bull headed bullies...NOT FRIENDS!!!!
As for your girlfriend issues, theres plenty of fish in the sea, and not all of them are like what you are saying. If you want the "american dream" whatever your definition of it is, that doesnt matter..GO FOR IT! Get legal and come to America, maybe youll find better luck with life here, meet a great girl, and settle down and have a normal happy life. If you want this for yourself so bad, you will do your part too. You dont seem very willing to try anything, but until you do nothing will change. You need to have faith in yourself!!!!!!!
I really think you should try everybodies advice, you will never know unless you try. Thats all anybody can do, is at least try. If you want help with this, you need to help yourself as well otherwise nothing is going to get better. Dont listen to your so called "friends." There not your friends!! Get some REAL friends, because the ones you call friends that have told you all that ignorant, immature stuff are NOT real friends. They are probably trying to make themselves feel better about something, by making you feel bad about yourself. there just nothing but big mean bull headed bullies...NOT FRIENDS!!!!
As for your girlfriend issues, theres plenty of fish in the sea, and not all of them are like what you are saying. If you want the "american dream" whatever your definition of it is, that doesnt matter..GO FOR IT! Get legal and come to America, maybe youll find better luck with life here, meet a great girl, and settle down and have a normal happy life. If you want this for yourself so bad, you will do your part too. You dont seem very willing to try anything, but until you do nothing will change. You need to have faith in yourself!!!!!!!
Just let it go. Personally, I think it would be better if we all stopped engaging Mike. He's obviously not getting any of the recommendations, and until he gets some kind of help, we'll just go round and round about this.
Not doing anyone any good. It's becoming frustrating to the responders, and all we're doing at this point is repeating ourselves.
Not doing anyone any good. It's becoming frustrating to the responders, and all we're doing at this point is repeating ourselves.
Your reading comprehension is no better than your understanding of women. I questioned what your interpretation of it was, not your right to have it.
So I guess since I live in Canada its impossible for me to want the "American Dream"?
"I want the "American Dream". If there is a nice one out there I would love to meet her. I dont know how I can learn anything "
What exactly is your idea of the "American Dream"? I live in the US and since you live in Canada I'm interested in hearing your interpretation of it.
I can tell you this, you know very little about women in general. Clear your head of all those screwy preconceived ideas you mentioned and just be yourself. Not who you think they want you to be.
What exactly is your idea of the "American Dream"? I live in the US and since you live in Canada I'm interested in hearing your interpretation of it.
I can tell you this, you know very little about women in general. Clear your head of all those screwy preconceived ideas you mentioned and just be yourself. Not who you think they want you to be.
Not all females are like this, and I am deeply sorry if it seemed I came off a bit harsh. Im just tring to tell you that not all females are like that..and I will say this as well..NO female is worth giving up on yourself for. Your worth more than that..your life is worth much more than having..well heck..10000000000000 girlfriends!!
Dont worry about any of that right now, worry about YOU!! Get some help with this, you wont be able to resolve the issue on your own because obviouslpeople here have tried to help you all they could, and if there great advice wasnt enough to at least make you have a little change in thought, then you need a professional. And new friends!! Those so called "friends" of yours that call you that stuff, arent friends at all!
Dont worry about any of that right now, worry about YOU!! Get some help with this, you wont be able to resolve the issue on your own because obviouslpeople here have tried to help you all they could, and if there great advice wasnt enough to at least make you have a little change in thought, then you need a professional. And new friends!! Those so called "friends" of yours that call you that stuff, arent friends at all!
I know nothing about relationships because I just havent reached that level of interest yet, so im just going to say what I think..first off, If this is an "all woman world", than why did woman have to fight for rights that men got and they didnt, such as the right to work, and even the right to simply vote? Woman didnt have much freedom in the old days. Even still now days, you walk past a work sight that has both men and woman working it, and you see a sign saying "caution, men at work". But wheres the sign thay says "caution WOMAN at work??
Anyway, like everybody else has told you..you cant just say all woman of the world are like that! I geg called ugly all the time by my own sister. Ive been bullied all my life, and still get bullied in school to this day.even by MALES.. guess what..IM A FEMALE!!
I must say, it is kind of hurtful that you would say those things. I have noticed, Its been mostly FEMALES that have tries to help you and shed some light here, but you still continue to put females down. Im very sorry your having this problem, but you cant blame every woman in the world, that isnt fair. Nursegirl specialmom and everybody else here is right, you do needbtherapy and you desperaty need to get to the bottom of all this. They have given you all the advice they can, you need to do your part. Best of luck t you.
Anyway, like everybody else has told you..you cant just say all woman of the world are like that! I geg called ugly all the time by my own sister. Ive been bullied all my life, and still get bullied in school to this day.even by MALES.. guess what..IM A FEMALE!!
I must say, it is kind of hurtful that you would say those things. I have noticed, Its been mostly FEMALES that have tries to help you and shed some light here, but you still continue to put females down. Im very sorry your having this problem, but you cant blame every woman in the world, that isnt fair. Nursegirl specialmom and everybody else here is right, you do needbtherapy and you desperaty need to get to the bottom of all this. They have given you all the advice they can, you need to do your part. Best of luck t you.
Look how good looking I am yet I'm single right now and I don't get women going crazy for me.They like the average guy these days and it's getting more and more common.Women are more concerned on the guys attitude and how they treat them rather then looks--I'm telling you.
There honestly isn't anymore we can tell you. You need to seek professional help for your thought process. Continuing this conversation is not goinmg to benefit you in any way.
Best of luck to you in all you do, Mike.
Best of luck to you in all you do, Mike.
having a girlfriend isn't everything, i would just focus on making new friends, if something else develops great. If not, well at least you have a new friend. The best way to do that is to start doing stuff that you enjoy doing. I think unless you change your mind about women, you will only notice what you think is true. I can assure you the media doesn't protray what the real woman is like. Women are the same as you in a lot of ways. They want to be accepted and respected, they want to have fun, they want to feel loved.
correction, Write down good things about women that do not include things like looks, superficial qualities, etc. Sorry for the typo.
How about "maybe you pick the wrong people and are stereotyping all women". I'm just trying to get you to let anything that is being said here sit on the table for you and for you to think about it. you don't have to agree but just consider it.
Project---- get out paper. Write down good things about women that do not include women. Write down what your dream girl would be like without including anything related to looks. I'd even consider just one statement on sex (great in bed) and make everything else about what your dream woman would be like. Again, minus anything to do with looks.
Start to look at life this way and you'll find someone. If your list is hard to make without superficial items, then it will be harder to find someone. good luck
Project---- get out paper. Write down good things about women that do not include women. Write down what your dream girl would be like without including anything related to looks. I'd even consider just one statement on sex (great in bed) and make everything else about what your dream woman would be like. Again, minus anything to do with looks.
Start to look at life this way and you'll find someone. If your list is hard to make without superficial items, then it will be harder to find someone. good luck
Have you read ANYTHING we've written? This conversation is going nowhere. Yoiu're hell bent on fighting for your skewed mindset, no matter what we tell you, so really, what's thje point of us taking the time to reply?
I'm going to rather spend my time answering posts of people who are at leadt willing to open their minds a littl bit, and consider what others are telling you. I'm not saying that to be mean, either, just being honest. The choice is yours how you want to approach this. One ofmy facorite saying really applies here..."nothing changes if nothing changes".
You can ruminate all you want and waste time worrying about the assumptions you've made about ALL women, but the reality is, the ONLY people we have control over is ourselves. YOU are the one who makes your destiny, and if you go through life with these misconceptions, you're just setting yourself up to fail, and that's really sad. Good luck to yoiu.
I'm going to rather spend my time answering posts of people who are at leadt willing to open their minds a littl bit, and consider what others are telling you. I'm not saying that to be mean, either, just being honest. The choice is yours how you want to approach this. One ofmy facorite saying really applies here..."nothing changes if nothing changes".
You can ruminate all you want and waste time worrying about the assumptions you've made about ALL women, but the reality is, the ONLY people we have control over is ourselves. YOU are the one who makes your destiny, and if you go through life with these misconceptions, you're just setting yourself up to fail, and that's really sad. Good luck to yoiu.
How about "nice guys finish last"? Or that the girls love the jerks until she gets tired and wants to settle for someone?
Oh gosh. I say George Clooney is hot but that doesn't mean I think he's gonna want ME! Yeesh. My husband thinks heidi klum is hot and she doesn't want him.
I think you are digging too deep into appearences. Is there any way you can internalize that thought and really see if it is true for yourself.
It is probably NOT a good thing for you to be dating right now. To be honest. You sound so troubled over this that I think you need to work on things from the INSIDE out rather than the OUTSIDE in.
Does that make any sense to you at all? I think that people here want to help you see what we are saying but you seem to have some thinking that will not let any new thoughts in. this worries me.
We all wish you the best.
I think you are digging too deep into appearences. Is there any way you can internalize that thought and really see if it is true for yourself.
It is probably NOT a good thing for you to be dating right now. To be honest. You sound so troubled over this that I think you need to work on things from the INSIDE out rather than the OUTSIDE in.
Does that make any sense to you at all? I think that people here want to help you see what we are saying but you seem to have some thinking that will not let any new thoughts in. this worries me.
We all wish you the best.
I've been thinking all week. Im not even gonna bother anymore. I have worked so hard but its not good enough so Im not gonna waste my time anymore
and girs talk all the time about how this celebrity and that one is hot. Im assuming they are just joking then? I doubt they are because thats what they like and we all have to try and work to that "twilight" standard
Im not hung up on looks, everyone says personality matters but at the end of the day its the thug that wins
NO. People make jokes all the time. There are always comments on my FB page about which Kardashian looks better in a bikini, with comments like "I'm going to put a pic of Khloe in a bikini on the fridge, think my wife will take a hint?" The wives will sometimes even comment, or "like" the post.
While I may not be a huge fan of certain comments, you're reading WAY too much into them. Married people and people in relationships aren't dead...they can still appreciate a beautiful woman/hot guy. That doesn't mean they don't think their spouse is good enough. MOST people know that this is the real world.
Heck, I bought my hubby a subscription to playboy. Does it bother me one bit? NO WAY! He's with ME, he sleeps with ME, he tells ME I'm pretty. Those women are a fantasy.
You are WAY too hung up on looks...both ways.
While I may not be a huge fan of certain comments, you're reading WAY too much into them. Married people and people in relationships aren't dead...they can still appreciate a beautiful woman/hot guy. That doesn't mean they don't think their spouse is good enough. MOST people know that this is the real world.
Heck, I bought my hubby a subscription to playboy. Does it bother me one bit? NO WAY! He's with ME, he sleeps with ME, he tells ME I'm pretty. Those women are a fantasy.
You are WAY too hung up on looks...both ways.
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