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What to do about depression
I have suffered depression my entire life. I'm sick and tired of feeling sick and tired, and inferior, and living a half life, if that. Everyone says, see a professional. Ok fine. How does one care for oneself if one has no money? I am scraping by, barely able to eat. If I can't afford to eat, how am I going to afford mental health therapy or medications? I will not qualify for any state help, I make too much money, and have insurance. But, most of my money is taken by child support, so I have just enough to barely, barely scrape by. So what hope is there? I want to get help, but I literally can't get it. I cannot afford a co-pay, or the cost of anti-depressant medication, so the insurance does not help me. Man, I am getting more depressed just writing this. What hope is there? I mean, it seems to me that I am going to be foced to live with this the rest of my life, and if that is the case, then I'd just as soon die as soon as possible. If there is no hope for any change, or improvement, then it would be illogical to keep trying. What do I do????? I'm stuck in a rut, and I can't get out on my own. But I can't get any help from anyone. Any ideas, anyone?
I don't know why I am compelled to write this little bit. Maybe it was something written above. Any matter.... in regards to depression. You mentioned something along the lines of "worse" case than yours.
I've come to learn that there really is NO worse case. Every case is altering lives. Every case is holding someone back, or holding numerous people back.
Speaking of my case personally, I spent years saying it was no big deal. Fact of the matter was, it was ruining my life and the lives of my children and my wife.... That is kind of a big deal. With that said, what was bothering me may have been a cake walk for someone else.... The amount of abuse or the kind of abuse I went through might look like nothing compared to other cases you'll hear, but... but... my case/depression was mine.
Yours is the same way. On paper, it may look worse or lesser than other cases, but what's the use of judging that? This depression is altering your life and that is the problem.
Nursegirl says it best. You have to keep fighting the good fight.
I've come to learn that there really is NO worse case. Every case is altering lives. Every case is holding someone back, or holding numerous people back.
Speaking of my case personally, I spent years saying it was no big deal. Fact of the matter was, it was ruining my life and the lives of my children and my wife.... That is kind of a big deal. With that said, what was bothering me may have been a cake walk for someone else.... The amount of abuse or the kind of abuse I went through might look like nothing compared to other cases you'll hear, but... but... my case/depression was mine.
Yours is the same way. On paper, it may look worse or lesser than other cases, but what's the use of judging that? This depression is altering your life and that is the problem.
Nursegirl says it best. You have to keep fighting the good fight.
"I mean, if all y'all have suffered as much or even more than I, and yet are alive today and reaching out to others, then I guess I should listen to what those who have already walked the path have to say."
Beautifully said! Depression is a life long struggle for some people. But it CAN be managed. With the help of therapy and meds, you can change that mindset that you're worthless, unlikeable, etc.
As far as meds go, I'll give you the same advice I give everyone. Certainly educate yourself, and even read about others' experiences, but don't let others' experiences weigh too heavily on your decision to try something, or affect your opinion about a medication. We ALL react very differently to medications. One person's miracle drug may be the next person's nightmare. You HAVE to allow yourself to have your OWN experience. The wrost possible thing a person can do is develop a bunch of preconceived notions about a med before trying it. That alone will set a person up to fail.
Effexor has gotten a bad reputation, based on the facts that it CAN be a little more difficult to tolerate for some, and if not properly tapered, can be hard to come off. I don't discount thatat all.
However, there are plenty of people out there who Effexor has helped tremendously, and who have discontinued it without any major issues. You have to remember too, that people with positive experiences are far less likely to "spread the word" like the people who have had bad experiences.
Just some food for thought. I wish you the very best...we're here for you whenever you need to vent, ask questions, whatever. Keep fighting the good fight. Chances are, eventually it will pay off. You have to work at it, too. It DOES take hard work to push ourselves when we would rather just crawl into a hole. That's very hard.
Big hugs to you!
Beautifully said! Depression is a life long struggle for some people. But it CAN be managed. With the help of therapy and meds, you can change that mindset that you're worthless, unlikeable, etc.
As far as meds go, I'll give you the same advice I give everyone. Certainly educate yourself, and even read about others' experiences, but don't let others' experiences weigh too heavily on your decision to try something, or affect your opinion about a medication. We ALL react very differently to medications. One person's miracle drug may be the next person's nightmare. You HAVE to allow yourself to have your OWN experience. The wrost possible thing a person can do is develop a bunch of preconceived notions about a med before trying it. That alone will set a person up to fail.
Effexor has gotten a bad reputation, based on the facts that it CAN be a little more difficult to tolerate for some, and if not properly tapered, can be hard to come off. I don't discount thatat all.
However, there are plenty of people out there who Effexor has helped tremendously, and who have discontinued it without any major issues. You have to remember too, that people with positive experiences are far less likely to "spread the word" like the people who have had bad experiences.
Just some food for thought. I wish you the very best...we're here for you whenever you need to vent, ask questions, whatever. Keep fighting the good fight. Chances are, eventually it will pay off. You have to work at it, too. It DOES take hard work to push ourselves when we would rather just crawl into a hole. That's very hard.
Big hugs to you!
This was most helpful and inspiring. Thank you for taking your time to write to me, that is very kind. I will take your advice and check out the site you mentioned, the one about the meds. I have seen the other site you referred to as well. I have to say in response to all the outpouring of good will that I am really touched, and re-motivated. I mean, if all y'all have suffered as much or even more than I, and yet are alive today and reaching out to others, then I guess I should listen to what those who have already walked the path have to say. I'm still unsure and unconfident that anything can be done, but it is hard to argue with folks who have gone through the same thing I am going through. I'm going to see about getting on different meds, and if there is anything else I can do without (like my phone) so I can afford to get back into therapy. And even though my inside voice is still telling me I'm worthless, unlikeable, definately unlovable, and that I would save myself a bunch of heartache by just giving up, despite these things, I am going to listen to y'all and see what happens.
You don't sound broken, but I do understand. Feel free to unload if you feel like it. You deserve our ears as well.
All the best to you,
Sara
All the best to you,
Sara
You are kind. I wasn't a therapist. Wouldn't trust myself to do that. I still have so many of my own issues to work out. I have just lived a kind of bizarre life. If I wrote a book about the all the different circumstances I've been in-I wouldn't believe it my self. I think God has used it, because it has given me a deep compassion and desire to help the, oh so many, people who suffer in this world. At the same time, I feel so broken myself.
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The last thing I needed when I got help was more bills. In fact, I let the though of accruing more bills stand in the way of me getting myself healthy. The depressed me wanted to stay in that rut... anything to find an excuse to not get help was my mantra for decades. And you name the excuses, I was using them. First and foremost was that I couldn't financially afford to get help, especially when I exhausted all of the other excuses for not getting help.
I went as far as to almost lose everything that is dear to me. My family was almost out the door because of my depression, lack of wanting to help myself, and miscellaneous ways of "self medication". When the $hit hit the fan, I knew I had to go on. I knew I wasn't done and I knew I was not the giant $hit bag I was turning myself into.
There is help out there and of course there is a cost. There are hundreds of places across this country that offer help for lesser cost, and some work on a sliding scale. Pay what you can, when you can and you can continue to receive the help you need.
First place to start is your doctor. He or she can give you a referral and they also probably have some information on where a person in your shoes can find some help. (It worked for me in the little community I live in.) That referral from your doctor is key. Secondly, meds don't have to be that expensive. The medicine I take for depression is cheap compared to the one I have to take for my triglycerides... real cheap.
Look, this is your health and help just doesn't come walking up. You have to become an active participant in making yourself get better. It's hard work and nobody likes telling their story, over and over and over again, but it is what is necessary in order to find help.
Everyone here on medhelp was fed some kind of a $hit sandwich. Most have come so far from where they were, but it didn't happen by accident. Some here are 'hanging on" because they can see the light at the end of the tunnel. None of the recovery happens over night. For some, relief happens rather quickly, but depression just doesn't go away. You learn to deal with it. Right now, you're not dealing with it in a healthy way. (I'm not trying to be disrespectful, just reciting the facts regarding depression.)
I truly feel for you brother.... I walked in your shoes for about 30 years too damned long, all because I was too stubborn to get out of my own way, to try to be a little innovative and get some help. Instead, I sat and did nothing except beat myself up and adding more trouble to the trouble I hadn't faced in life.
It stinks.... no doubt. And I can tell that you do want out of this. You didn't get to this point over night and it won't go away over night. Re-read every post above when you can find yourself in a calmer more tolerant state. Relax a bit... not all of this is your fault, and you will begin to see what help is out there. You have to chase it down.
Good luck and stay in touch.