Hurting and confused with endometriosis

[Ashlynnsmom]

I was wondering if anyone could help me, i have been dealing with endo for 10 years now and i am having my 7th surgery for it in a week.  My doctor tells me that we have big decisions to make, meaning, hysterectomy.  I dont know what to do, i feel like if i make this decision i am being self centered.  All i think about is my little girl asking me for a little brother or sister one day.  I just had surgery three months ago and have to have it again on Thursday, because i know have scar tissue on my spine, which is causing sever back pain.  I was on the depo shot for 2 1/2 years and when i had surgery three months ago, he said we needed to start trying to become pregnant, well i have been researching on the shot and it  can take up to 18 months to get out of your system.  I still have not had a period since right when i got pregnant with my little girl.  I am confused and i do trust my doctor but, i hate making this kind of decision, my husband says he will be happy with what ever decision i make, but i feel like if i have that done, i am taking away from him and our daughter.  I am tired of hurting all the time, but i dont just want to give up.  Can someone please help me??????

[Kay0201]

I also just have started posting on her as well. I am not for sure about the shot because that was 8 years ago and I was only 17 and did even know what they were then but my mother did. I just knew I had to take them. I know that feeling about having blood drawn, I hate needles and they can never find my veins or they roll so I am always stuck more than once. I think this web sight is wonderful because you can actually talk to someone who is going through what you are going through or someone who has been there. I have my family to talk to but it is not the same because they are not going through this, except my mom and sisters because they have endo as well. My mother and older sister had a hysterectomy years ago but myself and my younger sister have not, but I am thinking I will be having to decide if I want to have on or not when I decide to go see my doctor. But I will be ok with it and my husband will too because we don't think we want any more kids. Good luck. Keep me posted!!
Amanda

[Ashlynnsmom]

Do you think the name of that shot was Lupron, that's what it sounds like to me.  We have discussed that, so not it's just wait and see on Thursday.  I went and got preadmitted today, had blood work.  I am so tired of having my blood drawn.  Surgery is at 6 am Thursday.  Thanks for your thoughts and prayers.  I will let everyone know.  I have always read things on here, but never joined, being on here has been a big help and relief.  People actually know what your going through, cause they have been there.  I appreciate everyone.  

[Kay0201]

Do you think the doctor could when he does the surgery Thursday, if he sees anything burn out what he can, that is what the doctor done when I found out I had endo? Then he put me on some kind of shot (I do not remember the name of the shot, but maybe your doctor does), the shot with the birth control pills helps keep the endo dries up. I had to take the shot for 4-6 months. It is a very expensive shot my mother had to pay $500 out of her pocket for each shot every month but got rembersed from the insurance company, we had to also go to the pharmacy to pick the shot up then go to the doctor's office to get the shot. Maybe you can look into trying that for a little while before you just have the hysterectomy done. I was luck and thankful that it helped me some at least I think it did and as soon as I forgot to take my birth control pill (b/c I never could really remember to take them) I got pregnant. Let me know how things go and I wish you the best of luck and my prayers are with you. Thank for the advice you gave me.

[Ashlynnsmom]

I too have heard this, but as of now, i am running out of options.  My husband and i have discussed adoption, but we decided with all of our friends and there children, there will always be a little one around for us to enjoy.  Plus i have three brothers and i am sure they will find their soul mate sooner or later and then we can enjoy their children.  I am blessed to have our little girl, it took us three years for her.  Thanks for your advise and hope all is well your way.  Thanks again!!!

[rosy1912]

I've heard hysterectomies actually don't resolve endo that it can still grow back with it.  Besides a hysterectomy what are your options?

Maybe a little brother and sister could come in the form of adoption?  I know that seems like its the worse decision, but there's so many kids out there that need good homes--maybe this could be an option for you?

[Ashlynnsmom]

Thanks so much.  It is a relief to know that there are other people who can relate to this.  It is just so confusing.  That is just what my husband and I discussed yesterday.  He comes home on Wednesday and will be here for surgery.  If there is something unexpected there, then he will be there to give my Doctor the okay for a hysterectomy.  But we have set a goal and if i come out with everything still there and then we will still be trying, but if not, i will know that we gave it all our best.  Good luck to you as well and thanks for your concern.  

[Kay0201]

Hi
I am sorry you are in so much pain. I only have one daughter so I don't know how much help I would be. I found out I had endo when I was 17 and I am 25 now. Luckily I got pregnant at 18 because the doctor said I might not be able to have kids but I proved him wrong. Being in the pain you are in if you did decide to have a hysterectomy you are not being selfish and your husband would understand and your daughter would understand when she gets old enough to understand. When you have this done Thursday, set a goal with you and your husband that if you don't get pregnant within a year for example then you will have the hysterectomy done, (that is if the pain comes back and you just can't take the pain anymore). Then you and your husband will know that you at least tried, because their may be a chance that you are not able to have another baby and you will be suffering with this pain and not even able to have another baby. I have all the kids I want so if my doctor says I need a hysterectomy I am going to go through with it. I just thank God I have a beautiful healthy daughter since their are possibilities with women who have endo that they may not be able to have children. I hope I was of some help. Let me know how things go. I wish you the best in luck!!! My prayers are with you and your family.

[Ashlynnsmom]

Thanks for your advise.  It's not that i am not comfortable with it, i am just not the type to give up.  My husband and i have discussed this and if all goes well with Surgery on Thursday, then we are going to give ourselves 6 months and if the pain is still bothersome then we will go with it.  I guess now, it's just a wait and see.  Thanks again.

[Ashlynnsmom]

Sorry for your situation as well.  Sounds like our husbands feel the same way.  My husband and i have discussed all of our options and we have decided, if all goes well, we are going to TTC for 6 months and if the pain persists then i will go ahead with the hysterectomy.  I am now going on my 7th surgery, (with my last one only 3 months ago), and i dont think my body could handle much more of this.  So i think with TTC for 6 months, if nothing happens i wont have that guilt sticking with me, i can say atleast we tried and i am thankful that i was able to have our beautiful little girl.  My thoughts and prayers will be with you as well and i thank you.

[juliesmom]

I'm right there with you, I saw my doc last week and he says that the only way we'll be able to conceive is with IVF and we really can't afford that.  My husband says that he just wants to see my pain go away, as much as he'd like to have another child he'll sacrafice that to see me painfree.  I guess I'll call the doc today and talk to him about going ahead with the hysterectomy...it's not what I want to do but I sure don't want to hurt either.  I feel for you, it seems like a selfish thing to do but my husband and daughter understand, they hate to see me cry from the pain and have to take pills just to function.

I had a lap in November and the RE told me that if we weren't able to conceive on our own within the following 6 months that it probably would never happen...we've tried for 4 years on our own with no luck.  The rational part of me wants to just let it go and figure that there's a reason that it's not happening and God has some other kind of plan for me...but my heart is aching for the child I've wanted for so long that's never going to be a reality.  I completely understand what you're going through and will be thinking about you as you make this decision.
Shelley

[JoyRenee]

If you are not comfortable with a decision, then politely tell the doctor, "No thank you, maybe in the future!" You don't have to make a decision today. If this is going to drive you with guilt, then TTC for about 6-12 months and then decide if a hysterectomy is the way to go!!!

[Ashlynnsmom]

Thanks.  I have looked into that, but it's kinda costly and my insurance wouldn't be any help with it either.  I dont have a sisters, all brothers.  I do have a sister-n-law, but she is only 14 and she has alot of health issues.  I have decided that i will be having a talk with my doctor when i go in for my preop on Tuesday and see just how much time i am looking at, if any.  In my mind, I want a hysterectomy to be my last resort, but with the pain, i dont know how much more of it i can take.  It's taking away from my daily activities with my daughter.  It's not just with my back anymore, I am now having pains in other areas, that i have never felt before.  Thanks for the advise.  I have considered it all.  It just all depends on what happens on Thursday.  Thanks again!!!

[Donnachain]

Have you looked into freezing your eggs or anything like that? Is there anyone who could be a surrogate mum if you have a sister or anything like that. this is a hugeee decision. at least if you had eggs frozen you would still have an option if you changed your mind down the line. Otherwise you could adopt if you wanted more children.

[Ashlynnsmom]

Thanks so much for your reply.  I have turned to other family and friends, right now they are a big help, not just mentally, but physically.  It's just such a big decision to make and i want to make sure i make the right one.  My pain tells me one thing and my heart tells me another.  I will just have to wait and see what Thursday brings.  Thanks again.

[Hayley723]

Maybe talking to family members and getting their opinions. Also, if you have any close friends that have more than one child they can give you advice or a friend with any only child? I only have one little one so I'm not much help. In my opinion, I would love to give my daughter a sibling and plan on doing so. My husband wouldn't care either way though. I know I loved having a brother and sister growing up and especially now. Do all the research you can I think, and weigh the pros and cons in reguards to your pain as well. I think some women still have some pain when they get a hysterectomy too. Good luck!