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post bypass anxiety and personality changes
My husband had quintuple bypass surgery 8 months ago. He had a mild heart attack 13 years previously which did not require any surgical intervention. I have noticed after his surgery that his anxiety level is extremely high. He lashes out for the smallest things and everything seems to get to him, especially anything that involves me. He drinks more wine to relax and I think it is having an adverse effect. When I mention that he might try some relaxation techniques to quell his anxiety he "goes off". He says "the doctor says I shouldn't be stressed and you are adding to it". I am so worried that if he continues on this pace he will wind up back in the hospital. Now when he stresses about something or drinks I want to avoid him because I don't want to hear him yell or tell me the latest thing I have done to give him anxiety,stress, etc. I spoke to the nurse months ago during his cardiac rehab and she said not to fight with him but don't let him abuse me either. I just don't know what to do anymore. He was not like this prior to the surgery and I just wondered if this is common and if it subsides. I am really trying not to feel sorry for myself but his heart surgery really happened to all of us and has affected everyone. I feel that I am walking on eggshells. Part of me wants to run and hide....getting close to my breaking point. Do you have any advice?
Thank you!
Thank you!
Thank you everyone for posting your private stories. I thought I was the only one going through this misery. My husband had surgery only 5 weeks ago and has created so much chaos in my family that I am talking to a divorce attorney. He constantly tells family members that I am not taking care of him properly and that I just want him to die! When we are alone, he cusses and yells at me and I end every evening crying because apparently all his health issues and any problems are my fault. I had never heard him use profanity in 13 years of marriage and now he yells profanities and calls me names during his tirades. This is not the man I married and don't think I can be abused any longer. I've become afraid of this volatile man and can't believe this is happening.
In my family, I'm the one with the heart problems. I'm not cranky but I am fearful, and I think people often use anger to cover fear. At any rate, I found a good book called "Back to Life after a Heart Crisis," by Marc Wallack, M.D., and Jamie Colby, a doctor who had bypass surgery and his wife. It covers a lot about what's been discussed in this thread.
I also have only one sister. My heart goes out to you.
And thank you, Mr. McMurtry. What an apt descripton.
I also have only one sister. My heart goes out to you.
And thank you, Mr. McMurtry. What an apt descripton.
My sister had bypass surgery done about two months ago. My heart broke in half because she's not only my sister, she my best friend.
To make a long story short, she changed. She's become very short tempered. I love her very much, but it's so difficult to talk to her now. I've decided to pray for her and her family. After reading all these entries, I now understand that I am not alone. It has affected her family and I don't think she has a clue as to how the hurtful words she say's cut so deep. God bless her and everyone else out there who is going through the same difficult experience.. I'm afraid to tell her about her change. For fear that she will lash out at me. However, the sympathy I feel for my brother in law and niece and nephew, gives me no choice but to talk to her about this. Thank you for creating this comment page, it has been very healing.
To make a long story short, she changed. She's become very short tempered. I love her very much, but it's so difficult to talk to her now. I've decided to pray for her and her family. After reading all these entries, I now understand that I am not alone. It has affected her family and I don't think she has a clue as to how the hurtful words she say's cut so deep. God bless her and everyone else out there who is going through the same difficult experience.. I'm afraid to tell her about her change. For fear that she will lash out at me. However, the sympathy I feel for my brother in law and niece and nephew, gives me no choice but to talk to her about this. Thank you for creating this comment page, it has been very healing.
Here's ur ans that everyone is looking
For its called pump head a duke univ
Study says that doctors don't
Like to talk about this to the public
But up to 42 percent of bypass patients
Have significant cognative changes
After surgery due to blood be pumped
Through the body for 4 to 6 hours during the procedure that pump if
Not cleaned properly can spread tiny
Particles into the blood that go into
The brain and cause permanent damage
I'm trying to make pump head aware
To more people so they no the risk
For its called pump head a duke univ
Study says that doctors don't
Like to talk about this to the public
But up to 42 percent of bypass patients
Have significant cognative changes
After surgery due to blood be pumped
Through the body for 4 to 6 hours during the procedure that pump if
Not cleaned properly can spread tiny
Particles into the blood that go into
The brain and cause permanent damage
I'm trying to make pump head aware
To more people so they no the risk
Famous novelist Larry McMurtry, in his excellent autobiographical sketch, "Walter Benjamin at the Dairy Queen", discusses the profound emotional and mental effects of bypass surgery on him.
The bulk of his tale begins on page 140 in the hardback edition:
"Perhaps one reason I have become increasingly fascinated by history is because I feel I have had two histories---or, put another way, because two individuals bearing my name have had sequential but largely separate histories.
I was one person up until the morning of December 2, 1991, at which date I had quadruple-bypass surgery at the Johns Hopkins hospital in Baltimore. When I woke up from the operation, after about twelve hours in deep anesthesia, I began -- although I didn't realize it immediately -- my life as a different person -- my life as someone else."
"From being a living person with a distinct personality I began to feel more or less like an outline of that person—and then even the outline began to fade, erased by what had happened inside. I felt as if I was vanishing—or more accurately, had vanished…I became, to myself, more and more like a ghost, or a shadow. What I more and more felt, as the trauma deepened, was that while my body survived, the self that I had once been had lost its life…the sense of grief for the lost self was profound. I didn’t feel like my old self at all, and had no idea where the old self had gone…I felt spectral—the personality that had been mine for fifty-five years was simply no longer there."
The bulk of his tale begins on page 140 in the hardback edition:
"Perhaps one reason I have become increasingly fascinated by history is because I feel I have had two histories---or, put another way, because two individuals bearing my name have had sequential but largely separate histories.
I was one person up until the morning of December 2, 1991, at which date I had quadruple-bypass surgery at the Johns Hopkins hospital in Baltimore. When I woke up from the operation, after about twelve hours in deep anesthesia, I began -- although I didn't realize it immediately -- my life as a different person -- my life as someone else."
"From being a living person with a distinct personality I began to feel more or less like an outline of that person—and then even the outline began to fade, erased by what had happened inside. I felt as if I was vanishing—or more accurately, had vanished…I became, to myself, more and more like a ghost, or a shadow. What I more and more felt, as the trauma deepened, was that while my body survived, the self that I had once been had lost its life…the sense of grief for the lost self was profound. I didn’t feel like my old self at all, and had no idea where the old self had gone…I felt spectral—the personality that had been mine for fifty-five years was simply no longer there."
I found this thread while doing research for a friend who's husband of many years continues to exhibit extreme personality changes 6 years after bypass surgery. I am going to refer her here. It will help her to know she is not the crazy one!
I continued researching and found two VERY good articles about the possible cause of this problem. Yes, the medical community knows the cause, but does nothing to warn about or prepare people for this issue. I hope this helps!
Interestingly, Bill Clinton started exhibiting these symptoms after his bypass surgery. Read about it here:
http://www.drmcdougall.com/bill_clintons_madness.htm
http://heartdisease.about.com/cs/bypasssurgery/a/pumphead.htm
http://www.drmcdougall.com/misc/2006nl/january/bypass.htm
Two articles are by Dr. McDougall, who is VERY well researched, and a straight shooter. I have read his work since the early '80's.
Best wishes to all who are dealing with this. I think it will help to know that the cause is either depression or "pump head" which cause damage to the brain during the surgery.
I continued researching and found two VERY good articles about the possible cause of this problem. Yes, the medical community knows the cause, but does nothing to warn about or prepare people for this issue. I hope this helps!
Interestingly, Bill Clinton started exhibiting these symptoms after his bypass surgery. Read about it here:
http://www.drmcdougall.com/bill_clintons_madness.htm
http://heartdisease.about.com/cs/bypasssurgery/a/pumphead.htm
http://www.drmcdougall.com/misc/2006nl/january/bypass.htm
Two articles are by Dr. McDougall, who is VERY well researched, and a straight shooter. I have read his work since the early '80's.
Best wishes to all who are dealing with this. I think it will help to know that the cause is either depression or "pump head" which cause damage to the brain during the surgery.
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