after the treatment will my wife ever be herself again

[depressedhusband]

My wife has her last treatment he 20th of feb and wee would have been married a year feb 22. She has been mad all week and today became violent and told me she hated me and she wanted a divorce. so I dont know what to think.I have tried very hard to be supportive but the last month she has been getting meaner and  very hurtful. All she wants is her dogs and we went from one to four since may. She has kicked me out of our bedroom and treats me like a dog..know they sleep with her so worse. I was marrried to an abusive woman for 11 years and I said never again. I dont want to give up on my wife I love her but she has me so stressed out that  I am onmeds for depression  and it is just getting worse,she informed me that this is her home I dont have one.

[JTRiver]

Your wife needs to suck it up. I hate to say it but really you do every thing for her. You've gone above and beyond the call of duty. I realize she's sick but this is partly your fault. You need to stand up to her and tell her you are sick and tired of her sh*t. Even when someone feels bad, has mood swings, all it takes is for them to try a little harder to be nice to you. I had a girlfriend that is pretty much just like your wife is now the only difference is she was just crazy she wasn't even on meds. I wish you all the best luck in the world but get off the AD's they rarely do anyone any good. You shouldn't take anything just because someone else is depressing you. Tell your wife that you will leave her if she keeps this up it’s not fair to you.

[Kathy73]

I'm sorry to hear of your troubles. I started having anger issues a couple of weeks into treatment and to my doctor's and husband's relief started anti-depressants. They have really helped me to calm down and not be so reactive at least to my husband. My doctor and his staff are still on notice as far as their incompetance and my reactions to it.

[lalapple]

and i forgot to add:  don't give up on her!  she needs you especially during this hard period in her life!

[lalapple]

i'm so sorry :(  both of you are coping with some hardships right now.  first of all, i'm just really glad to hear so many concerned family member here.  then i know the treating are in good hands.  

the reason for treating is so one can be given a chance at better health and therefore better life.  if your wife is falling apart during tx, and she's not even done, then what is the point of treating?  she needs to reevaluate her purpose for treating and life.  

try to leave her alone when she's angry.  i get those swing moods during tx too, and i just want everyone to leave my alone and go to sleep.  and i'm sure the dogs are a great therapy for her so don't get rid of them!

my philosophy with treatment is to deep things and attitudes as normal as possible even if life has changed somewhat temporarily.  just remember, treatment won't be forever, she'll be done in no time and you two will continue to life a wonderful life!  always think positive!

good luck and tell us how things go!

[kickboxingmom]

This is a very sad situation.I really am at a loss for words.I wish you ONLY the best at what you decide to do.She also has a story, I'm sure.You can lose yourself in the studio and that can be a good thing.She has to much control and that is not a good thing.I'm sorry to hear about your health issues.Again, I wish you the best.The answers will come to you and you will know what you have to do.Can you put a lock on your studio ?Keep the line of communication open with her.With your health down at this time tell her it's time we make some decisions.Or at this time of the economy being so messed up postpone the talk for a bit.I want to help if I can but your situation sounds to serious to do that.Again, I wish you the best in all you have to do to get through this.I wish I had the answers but I don't.I've been married for 31 yrs. and love my family more than anything.It takes alot of work to make it work.On Both parts.Good Luck depressedhusband.Whether you worry about your problems or not it doesn't help the outcome.Quit worrying so much about it.Worrying doesn't help.Start a diary of all the things you guys say and do.A journal would help with your need to write, also.
Tammy

[depressedhusband]

thank you  so much for your words of encouragement. It has been three days since
she told me she hates me and wants a divorce. If  this were the first time she said she hates me,I would say okay it's the meds.but it is the third time the other two before the treatments began.It seems as long as I just do whatever she says things are fine.All of this really built up to a head when I started writing again after many months of writers block. The difference being this time for the first time in 8 years I couldnt stop. I knew thatwhat I was doing was very important! You see I have diabetea high blood pressure and copd and have to use oxyzen at night. The aded stress of her treatments and the coldness she has displayed the last couple of weeks makes me realize that I have to survive this.If it were only the mood swings I could handle that.It is the violence that I cant handle.And then she said she wanted to desroy my studio(something I have dreamed of all my life and had before we ever married, That scares me.Here I find myself again in a situation where someone wants to destroy me for their own joy. And she has always been a very controling person but I have noticed the past few weeks that things I mentioned that my ex did to make my life hell she has been doing. So I am gonna focus
on this music and protect my self. She lost her mom last year and was devastated when her mother cut her out of her will.because she sold her mothers home and had her deamed mentally uncapable to make her own decsions.I  didnt realize that i you dont do what she says she will make you