Your story sounds too much like my own. For five years or so, after spine surgery, I had intense migraines just above my right temporal lobe. They would last ask long as a week. Often I'd be told to go to the ER to get IV meds to stop the pain, which one weekend, didn't work. They did a scan and found a tumor, and that night I had brain surgery to remove what turned out to be a stage 4 Glioblstoms zzzzzzzzzzmultforme tumor. Told I had 2 to 5 years to live.
I keep wondering why they let me go that long with such severe pain without an MRI. Would it have made a difference if we found it when it was smaller?
I've now been through radiation and temodar, consults with Dr. Prados at UCSF. The tumor was still growing at last month's MRI. Now I'm on IV chemo, Avastin and cpt 11. Next MRI is in a week and we''ll see.
I'm so scared. I'm married, no kids, love my husband and can't bear having to say goodbye to him and all my beloved friends.
I don't know how to run my house any more. No interest in cooking, I get dizzy if I stand too long, I'm a therapist but am home, off work on long term disability, and the Docs are trying to help me face the reality that I will likely be dead in six months. For a long time I fought it, would not accept I was going to die, want to be one of the very few long term survivors. I'm sooo scared. I'm an intelligent, 45 year old woman, with enouth experience to know when I'm depressed and in denial. I have a good therapist, my husband is also exhausted by grief, but does his best to take care of me. I spent a few weeks at a ****** therapy center in Hawaii and felt a lot better after.But ot did not sto[p the tumpr. I've tried a ton of alternative things, and am willing to try more. I just don't feel I'm ready to die.
Luckily I have my faith. Prayer and meditation, and love are helping.
I was a member of a forum here for years that got shut down, under the monicker 'witchywoman'. Anyone here remember me?
love,
Tara
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