sick of the depression

[babymama1985]

So ive posted on here before with the problems of my babydaddy but it seems to just get worse. It hurts still being in love with the man but now hes dating the woman he cheated on me with. Im 23 weeks for it seems that no matter what i do...how happy i try to be its just one blpw after another. I have been diagnosed with clinical depression a long time ago and was on prozac before i got pregnant but went off them abruptly when i found out i was pregnant. Hes pretty much nonexistent but the times we would talk or when he would come to the 3appts that he was actually at i would ask if he was seeing, dating, talking to anyone else .....it was always no no no....so i foubd he has been lying to me for who knows how long and i am just so torn up about how he doesn't care how he efdects me and in turn effects the baby. I dont understand men like that. How can u say u care about your son when all u do is prove everyday that

[Roo93]

Im 6 weeks today, we've known for a week now & when we did find out he was the HAPPIEST, I mean he was STOKED!! Now, I wonder.. Cause he dont wanna help do anything, he comes home, ******* & moans then sleeps, I dnt kno how to make this right HELP!!!

[AnnieBrooke]

You responded as if I was saying what the guy is doing is OK.  It sounds like what he is doing is extremely unkind and ungracious to you.  But he doesn't owe you a relationship, even though you are pregnant, unless he begged you to get pregnant and made promises as to what was going to happen if you did.  He owes the BABY a relationship (obviously time will tell if he is going to step up there).  The only reason I say it is because you sound indignant and surprised.  Don't waste the energy on outrage ... he's acting like a jerk because he's a jerk.  The advent of a baby isn't going to make him less of a jerk.  Get your legal ducks in a row and be ready to file for child support.

[momabear86]

Then leave him at that. Everything you do now should be for you and the baby and no one else.

[momabear86]

Then leave him at that. Everything you do now should be for you and the baby and no one else.

[babymama1985]

Thats def something i think about. I see all the articles on hpw important a father is and i wanna kick my own self because of the anger i feel at this point in time. I wish i didnt feel it...no.matter what anyone thinks i do not enjoy feeling this way. He is dating/seeing/screwing someone else...whatever u wanna call it and yeah that hurts...especially when it was not even a day after a fight. I realize its a moot point but no one gets over hurt in a night. I do want him to have a relationship with his father. And a good relationship with me and his other family members on that side of his family....this is all how i feel now....but i still have 17the weeks to go. I know ny then things will be different because time truly does heal. But unfortunately this protective part of me doesn't knoe if he will take care of him.and put him.first in his life like he should and then i also have the other factor of the gf...and i know from first hand experience that the other woman will stick her nose into this and that i dont know how to handle. Personally i think this is mine nd his child and the decisions should be left to us. But he may not even step up or may not even be with her. Who knows? I know its horrible to say this but i dont want to share my son...especially not with his new gf that he cheated on me with....i will get past it...i always do. But as of right now thats how i feel lol. My son will have a father whether that is my ex or my own father or some othee man i meet way down the rd. Hes done a few things here amd there and those are the things that show me he cares at least a little. I def dont want to say hes a deadbeat until.i knkw for sure. And once i know then i can be like ok we will be ok with or without him no matter what. I guess i juat need time to heal and ppl are looking at me like ugh she is not even giving him.a chance...but when a man cheats on his pregnant gf its nlt a good feeling lol. Hopefully he will do the right thing .....whatever that is now.

[MamaBear0612]

I know this is hard, but focus on your baby and nothing else. You can't force a guy to be a man or to be a father. In some ways it does sound like he's shown some interest, going to at least some appointments with you. A lot of married women can't get their husbands to do that...right or wrong, men handle pregnancy differently than women do. You two are complicated and he's in another relationship, so it's only going to hurt you if you keep thinking he's going to be dad-of-the-year or act like you're his woman before the baby's born.

Afterwards, sometimes things do change, but I wonder this...if you do make it really hard for him to be a father after the baby's born, will you then complain that he's being a horrible man/deadbeat dad? I'm not saying put yourself out there, as long as you don't shut the door on him. I'm becoming a single mom myself, and I'm not with my baby's father, and yes, we've had our issues but I try to always think about what's best for my baby. If her father is willing and ready to be a really great dad, it doesn't matter if he's with me or what we've been through on a romantic level. For her sake, I've got to be the best mom I can be by allowing her to form a relationship with her father. I grew up with a really great dad, and if I can give that to her, it doesn't matter if he and I are together. I told him once I could find another boyfriend or even a husband, he is her father and that's not something I can replace.