Cheating Wife please help

[Watsonxx]

I am out of the country since 2 months now. I am hearing rumors about my wife having an affair and sexual relationship with my cousin. I am terrified by this news. We have been married for 2 years now and dont have a kid yet.
I am going back to my country after 2-3 weeks.
I just wanted to know is there any way where in i can do a medical test to determine whether my wife had sex in the last 2 months or not??
Please reply as this is bothering me alot and i cant concentrate on work as well.

[Londres70]

Yes, the child or children would suffer.  So, that is food for thought.  If you want a family I don't think she is the ideal person for the moment to have a family with.  

[Watsonxx]

No she isnt pregnant. Wat i meant was If i continue to stay with her and if we plan to start a family thn if she doesnt something wrong then the baby would suffer.

[Londres70]

What do you mean by "baby."  Is she pregnant?  Please tell me there is NOT a child involved in this.  I WOULD NOT SUGGEST HAVING A CHILD/BABY WITH THIS WOMAN.  A baby will NOT fix the major problems you all are having.  DO NOT DO THIS.  Babies aren't bandaids or solutions to a bad marriage.  Too many people do this and end up dragging the children into a less than ideal situation.  

It is obvious she has some serious issues with fidelity.  As I stated in a couple of my earlier posts she DEFINITELY needs therapy of some sort to sort out why she is dishonest and why she has cheated.  I am not sure if therapy is looked down upon in regards to your culture or not, however, in the Westernized world it is accepted.  Given her past history doubt she will change without PROFESSIONAL HELP.  

Australia, India or wherever; doesn't matter where you all go, if she doesn't resolve this with THERAPY she will KEEP repeating this behavior over and over again.  It may stop for a bit, but it will NEVER stop without professional intervention/counseling.  

In one of your posts you stated in regards to counseling that you all didn't "need to go that far."  In my opinion you all need it more than EVER.

I can't say if she ever loved or didn't love you; only she knows that answer.  

Your situation sounds extremely draining and dramatic.  Go to Australia and be by yourself for a month or so and go from there.  

If you bring her with you you definitely will have your work cut out for you.  I mean, if you have to keep close tabs or a close watch on her to make sure she is NOT cheating or lying.......hmmmm.........that is no life to live for you.  

You CANNOT change or fix her; she can only do this if she wants with help of course.  

[Watsonxx]

I think i am finishing off the relationship today.

I am taking this decision thinking a wife cannot cheat on her husband if she really loves him..So i guess She never loved me thats y she took this drastic step. She should have thought once about me before commiting such crime.

After getting married to her she tried to get in touch with her ex-boyfriend without me knowing about it, Eventually i caught her talking to him over the phone and i had warned her if saying if you ever talk to your ex again i will call off the relationship.

She did stop it for a year. And again when i was out of country for a month she started talking to him again, Again i caught and warned her for the second time and told her there wont be any 3rd time. Its straight out.

But this time she crossed all the barriers and made out with my Cousin. I dont know why she did this, but she has to pay for wat she did.

The pain is unbearable but i cant accept her as she is no more pure.

I Guess this is life, Most of the divorces happen because of infidelity.

I had informed her before going to australia for a month, That sweetheart we will have a cute baby once we settle in Australia, Life will Change, Only 2 of us.

I am crying but the reality cannot be changed i guess.

As there is no gurantee that she will not cheat again, I dont want the baby to suffer because of her unpredictable behaviour.

I am a very emotional man, But emotions at times make you suffer, It is equally important to think practically.

I dont know whether i would be able to get married again, but i feel pity for myself.

I would really appreciate if any would like to advise on this one??

Thanks.

[Londres70]

I think the separation idea sounds reasonable.  Plus, she won't be by herself; she will be with her mother.  Getting away from the situation will allow you to see more clearly in my opinion.  I think I mentioned separation in my second post as well as others have too.  

Glad to be of some help to you.  

[Watsonxx]

Thank you so much for your kind advise.

I have a plan, Since i am moving to Australia, I am thinking about sending my wife to her mom's place. So that once i am in Australia and she being at her home, Its going to be little easy to call off the relationship.

I know i can't divorce her being in front of her as both of us would be completely shattered and speachless. She will die if i seperate from her.

So, Its going to be easier if i am away and send her to her mom's place for alteast 2 weeks, this will give me little time to think as well before taking a conclusive decision.

She keeps asking me every minute, She says if i go to my mom's place and you go to Australia, will you call me there? u will never leave me rt?

She is so scared that she also said i am really worried and feel you r only going to be with me for 3-4 days before you fly and i mite never be able to see you again as i feel you mite leave me.

I feel she is almost dead within herself. But at no cost she wants to be away from me.

I dont have time, I just have 3-4 days before i fly. I dont understand what to do as i have never been in so much of stress.

I am deeply hurt, My trust is shattered, every vision kills me, But at the same time i cant see my wife is so much of pain as she has been crying continously since 4 days now. Her eyes are swollen,

When i think of leaving her, Her crying face and the way she begged to stay with me comes in front of my eyes. Which makes me feel i should give her one last chance.

I told my Mom about this as she is the only one i can share things with, even she was zapped to know all this,  But after looking at my wife's condition she suggested me to try and forget this and give her one chance.

I would really like to thank Special Mom,Groovy,Rockrose, Londres and all other members who have advised earlier on this issue.

I would really appreciate if you could give me a final advise on this one.

Thanks.