Aa
Cheating Wife please help
I am out of the country since 2 months now. I am hearing rumors about my wife having an affair and sexual relationship with my cousin. I am terrified by this news. We have been married for 2 years now and dont have a kid yet.
I am going back to my country after 2-3 weeks.
I just wanted to know is there any way where in i can do a medical test to determine whether my wife had sex in the last 2 months or not??
Please reply as this is bothering me alot and i cant concentrate on work as well.
I am going back to my country after 2-3 weeks.
I just wanted to know is there any way where in i can do a medical test to determine whether my wife had sex in the last 2 months or not??
Please reply as this is bothering me alot and i cant concentrate on work as well.
COMMUNITY LEADER
I think Rockrose had an idea for you.
I don't really think confronting and accusing is the way to go when you first arrive home. What if you are wrong? You haven't seen anything for yourself. Go home, get back into each other's lives and see what you think for yourself.
Tell your family that unless they have REAL proof to stop talking about this.
good luck
I don't really think confronting and accusing is the way to go when you first arrive home. What if you are wrong? You haven't seen anything for yourself. Go home, get back into each other's lives and see what you think for yourself.
Tell your family that unless they have REAL proof to stop talking about this.
good luck
Hello everyone..I would like an advise from all of you..I am back to my home country and eventually after confronting my wife and finding out the facts she confessed that she slept with my cousin who is 10 yrs younger to her..My cousin doesnt knw that i have come to know abt this...I am shattered and devastated..I am not able to sleep, i want to divorce my wife as i dont have kids yet. I cant take the fact that my younger cousin bro who used to call my wife his mother did something like this.. My life seems to be over..She is crying and requesting me to give her last chance.she doesnt need a divorce..My Mom n dad doubt her but they dont know i have made her confess...How do i handle it..I loved her so much..Gave her everything that she wanted..I never cheated on her..And i am just not able to digest the fact that she slept with him for atleast 3-4 times..I get dirty thoughts about what all she must have done with him..I cant sleep anymore..dont feel like touching her..I hate her..But at the same time i cant live without her..I need to take a decision..Please tell me whethr to divorce her or accept his ****...I pity for her at the same time as i know for the fact that if i leave her then her life is going to be a living hell..As her mom is a divorcee and doesnt talk to her since she married me..She has no one to take care of her if i leave her..PLEASE HELP ME WITH A SOULTION...OR ELSE MAKE HER AND MY COUSIN COME IN FRONT OF THE ENTIRE FAMILY AND CONFESS...
Good you confronted her for the truth; so sorry about the truth though. I can sense your pain and humiliation.
For starts, I don't think you two should be drawing the ENTIRE family into this.
Is it possible you all could separate for a while and figure things out away from each other, then come together and seriously talk about what you all will do with the marriage? Sounds like it is definitely too heated at this point for anyone to be talking rational in my opinion. This should be THOROUGHLY thought out.
To divorce her or not........you shouldn't be leaving that decision up to strangers on the internet. The decision or solution SHOULD definitely come from you AFTER long thought and consideration. We can try to advise you over this situation, however, we sure CAN'T be making the final decision. I would HIGHLY recommend a marriage counselor be involved PRIOR to reaching your final decision.
For starts, I don't think you two should be drawing the ENTIRE family into this.
Is it possible you all could separate for a while and figure things out away from each other, then come together and seriously talk about what you all will do with the marriage? Sounds like it is definitely too heated at this point for anyone to be talking rational in my opinion. This should be THOROUGHLY thought out.
To divorce her or not........you shouldn't be leaving that decision up to strangers on the internet. The decision or solution SHOULD definitely come from you AFTER long thought and consideration. We can try to advise you over this situation, however, we sure CAN'T be making the final decision. I would HIGHLY recommend a marriage counselor be involved PRIOR to reaching your final decision.
Wow, what a horrible story. I agree with Londres. Don't drag the whole family into this and make this solution completely yours and out of the hands of complete strangers on the internet.
The ball is in your court and you have plenty of time. People can and do recover from this, but it takes a lot of love, a lot of forgiveness, and a hell of a lot of work. You'll also have to learn to trust her again. This too is recoverable, but it also takes a lot of work.
Counseling is a great idea and should be looked into immediately. Again, the ball is in your court. Time is on your side, so take all you need to make a decision you can live with.
The ball is in your court and you have plenty of time. People can and do recover from this, but it takes a lot of love, a lot of forgiveness, and a hell of a lot of work. You'll also have to learn to trust her again. This too is recoverable, but it also takes a lot of work.
Counseling is a great idea and should be looked into immediately. Again, the ball is in your court. Time is on your side, so take all you need to make a decision you can live with.
Thanks a ton for the advise..But I just cant get this out of my mind..She is crying like a baby..She was short of breath and looked as if she will die..So i had to be little calm and didnt torture her more..I hugged her as well which i should not have done..But i cant see her in Pain either because i have really loved her a lot..As far as Counseling is concerned, I dont think i should be going that far as i need to leave to Australia in few days for work purpose. And i will get her there in a week's time after i reach..But the Question is Am i doing the right thing? Am i being too emotional considering the fact she doesnt have anyone to take care of her if i leave her..Too many questions and i cant find an answer. I feel like calling my cousin home abusing and slapping him and warn him to stay away and never show his face in the entire life and give my wife one last chance..what do u suggest?? I know i am the best Judge but suggests always gives a positive feedback..Please help..As this matter is very serious.
I think hugging her was okay because you do love her. But... the love has to go both ways. She cannot have her cake and eat it too. You get to decide what happens here to some extent. You can stay or you can go.... keep in mind, so can she.
This really is a difficult situation. I put my wife in the same situation as you are in. My wife made a decision to give me a second chance. I do love my wife more than anything, so I seized the moment and will not look back. I work on making me a better person for her, and I also am there to support her through the tough times regarding the recovery process.
Infidelity is a hard thing to over come. Trust has been destroyed, and that is big. How does one gain it back? Time probably, and a lot of work. Your wife will need to do everything necessary... therapy/counseling, complete disclosure of the entire situation, she needs to be completely transparent.... everything she does and says for a good long time needs to be transparent and out in the open. She needs to put your needs first instead of hers, and you have to be willing to let her do that.
You also need a bit of time and space for yourself, but only you can determine how much, when and where it is all applicable. If she is on board with all of that, then you have a chance.
Remember this though... you do not owe her anything. Do not feel as if you have to stay because she has nowhere to go. That would be the biggest mistake you could make. She is a big girl, and this whole thing might make her a little less dependent at least in your eyes.
The work is all hers... you'll have some too and forgiving is a tough lesson to learn. You can move on with or without her, but do not let her being "helpless" hand cuff your future. That is no way to live.
This really is a difficult situation. I put my wife in the same situation as you are in. My wife made a decision to give me a second chance. I do love my wife more than anything, so I seized the moment and will not look back. I work on making me a better person for her, and I also am there to support her through the tough times regarding the recovery process.
Infidelity is a hard thing to over come. Trust has been destroyed, and that is big. How does one gain it back? Time probably, and a lot of work. Your wife will need to do everything necessary... therapy/counseling, complete disclosure of the entire situation, she needs to be completely transparent.... everything she does and says for a good long time needs to be transparent and out in the open. She needs to put your needs first instead of hers, and you have to be willing to let her do that.
You also need a bit of time and space for yourself, but only you can determine how much, when and where it is all applicable. If she is on board with all of that, then you have a chance.
Remember this though... you do not owe her anything. Do not feel as if you have to stay because she has nowhere to go. That would be the biggest mistake you could make. She is a big girl, and this whole thing might make her a little less dependent at least in your eyes.
The work is all hers... you'll have some too and forgiving is a tough lesson to learn. You can move on with or without her, but do not let her being "helpless" hand cuff your future. That is no way to live.
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