My 28 year old boyfriend of 3 years still lives at home with his mother and refuses to move out. He and I were going to move in together around 1 year after dating. His mother went on disability from work (she was a teacher) around the same time we planned on moving in together and he has opted not move out so he can be there for her. I felt it was ok for him to want to be there for his mother, and decided we could move in together at a later time.
Two years into our relationship I became pregnant with our son, we decided that we really should move in so that we could raise our son together and its because what we had always planned on doing. My boyfriend refused to move in with us when the time came, he instead wanted me and our son to move in with him and his mother. I didnt think this was the best idea, and refused to live with them. He told me that he refuses to leave his mother, the only way he would live with me and our son is if we all lived together.
He somehow feels indebted to his mother because she took really good care of him when he was a child. Although its honourable for him to want to take care of her its not reason for him to not want to leave, because it was her job as his parent to take good care of him. I tell him all the time that he is letting our son miss out on having both parents raise him together because he chooses to live with her and not us, but he points out that its my fault b/c I wont live with him and his mother.
I tell him we would help his mother whenever she needed, its not like we would be relocating, we would still be in the same city and she could call whenever she needs anything. I mean if she was critically ill or something then I would understand, but the majority of her health issues are because
she is an unhealthy and obese woman who doesnt do anything to make herself healthy.
Sometimes I think she makes herself seem sicker so she can ensure her son wont move out.
I love my boyfriend and I don't want our relationship to end over something like this...I just dont know what to do...