My boyfriend won't have vaginal sex with me

[coldbloodtruth]

My bf 23 will not have sex with me 20, and we have been dating for abt a year, we both love each other to where we couldn't let the other go unless they cheat. he has anal sex with me sometimes, and we do everything else sexually, but he says his reason is marriage, he wants to wait til we are married. of course i can't believe this reason. he evern said b4 that he wanted me to force it on him and i just dont want my first time like that. what is wrong? what can i do??? ohh btw i have a 2 year old daughter and he is a virgin. (besides the anal sex hes had with me)

[coldbloodtruth]

i tried that the other day we broke down in an argument abt the sex thing and i said how abt we stop messing around all together, then the very next hour he showed up at my door and immediately started asking me if he could finger me!! although it felt great and it made me feel better i knew very well what he was doing,he wanted to make sure i didnt go thru with my threat... i couldnt resist tho because i love the sexual attention, i did almost have sex with him once btw but my daughter woke up from her nap so, i guess its not impossible just i want him to be like any other man and to want to do this with me , to crave it , to want it to need it, like if i was a guy and had a girl bending over or spreading it for me i would stick it in faster than u can say zip-slip... idk but condoms work just fine i dont see y he would be scared of getting me pregnant, im sure that has a lot to do with it but i mean when i got pregnant it was from NOT wearing a condom... i understand the risk of pregnancy obviously that is what sex is all abt, reproduction, but that is why they make condoms and there are ways to make sure the condom doesnt break or have holes.

[specialmom]

I don't know how to say this but that he is into anal doesn't really mesh with the being a son of a pastor and seeing sex a certain way.  Could he just not want to impregnate you??  

But regardless, he is holding out.  You certainly sound pretty ready to do just about anything for him . . . invite others into your bedroom for sex with you, using strap ons . . .  I'm not sure why vaginal sex would be special after doing all of those things.  But am sure you see that yourself.  So, what is the big deal about regular sex?  

I don't know.  I think I'd start withholding all sexual activity with him and tell him that you want it to be more special in general.  See how he handles that.  good luck (and that is not being sarcastic, that is exactly what I'd do.)

[coldbloodtruth]

oh and again he does not call himself a virgin, when i say virgin i mean to me he is a viginal virgin since he has never put his penis in a vigina, the same way i was an anal virgin b4 him and i had anal sex, which has only been 2 or 3 times.

[coldbloodtruth]

ive considered that maybe he is in the closet but if that was the case he wouldnt be sooo protective towards me and other guys, i have asked him if he'd be interested in a threesome with another man or maybe me use a strap-on on him, but hes not interested in those things at all he doesnt think that being gay is right but he doesnt really judge though, we are pretty open sexually and this just seems to be our only problem, i believe he is just scared especially sincce he's never done it b4 and probably because i have done it soo many times in my past, i think he might just want it to be special. and i have no problem waiting until marriage but obviously u see i dont believe he really wants to because its pointless after everything else we do... i mean he doesnt exactly neglect my needs, he will finger me but that is just not sensual enough for me, i would like to make love with him.. it is something i do want very badly, not only will i be his first and that will make me feel extra special but its a way we could more mutually please eachother. i'm sure the way he was raised (his mom being a pastor and all) might have a lot to do with his mental challenges with women and the vagina, after all im just his 4th girlfriend and he's really not the best with girls... but i love him soo much and i just want to solve this problem without leaving him because i wanted sex because i dont want to seem like a *****, i mean i havent had sex since i got pregnant almost 3 yrs ago, its not like if i was single id be sleeping around, i just want to make love with my boyfriend because i have a strong feeling he is the one i will spend the rest of my life with. hope all this helps everyone understand more...

[Bnl1024]

OMG... This is a SUPER BIG RED FLAG! If my boyfriend ever pulled this we would be in a bond. I dont see how you let this fly! i understand all sex is fun and good and times but only anal haha yeah right!!!!!! as far as i know you stick it in one hole your not considered virgin at all. He seems to not care about your needs. Any real man will ask " baby are you pleased, finished, etc." like omg this is so strange to me! Something might really be wrong with him! like i dont mean that in a rude way... anyways good luck with that!

[Hunny25]

Sorry to ask and put it like this but is he really in the closet and usinig you as a cover up? I hope u have protected anal sex with him.