My boyfriend won't have vaginal sex with me

[coldbloodtruth]

My bf 23 will not have sex with me 20, and we have been dating for abt a year, we both love each other to where we couldn't let the other go unless they cheat. he has anal sex with me sometimes, and we do everything else sexually, but he says his reason is marriage, he wants to wait til we are married. of course i can't believe this reason. he evern said b4 that he wanted me to force it on him and i just dont want my first time like that. what is wrong? what can i do??? ohh btw i have a 2 year old daughter and he is a virgin. (besides the anal sex hes had with me)

[Londres70]

Your statement....."he has anal sex with me sometimes, and we do everything else sexually, but he says his reason is marriage, he wants to wait til we are married." ...... Sorry dear, this makes him NO virgin.  Virgins abstain from ALL sexual activity, however, some people think that doesn't include oral or anal sex.  That line about "saving vaginal sex after he is married" sounds just like a line he is feeding you in my opinion.  

Your statement......"he evern said b4 that he wanted me to force it on him."  ......Sounds like he is NOT traditional when it comes to vaginal sex.  Once again, how can he say he is saving vaginal sex for marriage and then he stated to you that he wants you to "force it on him?"   He is TOTALLY contradicting himself.  I believe he has ALREADY had vaginal sex. He sounds like NO virgin.  

Well.....either he is trying to avoid pregnancy OR he prefers anal sex over vaginal sex OR he just prefers a woman to be dominate in regards to vaginal sex.  Any way you cut it .....doesn't sound like you all are sexual compatible as RockRose and Specialmom have pointed out.  

Something is NOT on the "up and up" or legit here.  Definitely would consider this a "red flag."  Anyone not willing to fulfill my needs BEFORE marriage and is ok with having me fulfill his....sorry, that wouldn't be for me; that's ME though.  

How's the rest of the relationship?  

[RockRose]

This is your life,  and your choice.  But I'm telling you,  girl,  that a man who refuses to have vaginal sex with a woman he really cares about,  who offers it,  there's something sexually incompatible about him.  

I don't know what it is,  but it's not fixable.  If you said he refused any sort of sex whatsoever I'd have a 5% chance of thinking he's just really morally driven.  But that's not the case.

He's willing to do anal.  

He's not a match for a heterosexual woman who wants vaginal sex.  

But this is obviously your choice.

Best wishes.

[specialmom]

I know he isn't married, I meant he says he wants to wait for marriage but is willing to be with a woman that is NOT a virgin -------  usually someone who wants to wait until marriage wants a partner that did too.  

But I have to say that he is not a virgin.  You two are quite sexual and he is having intercourse with you-------  anal intercourse.  

I think I'd see this as a red flag.  Your gut is telling you that he is making an excuse and you are missing regular/tradition sex.  He's withholding that from  you while still having sex with you.  Really not fair that his needs are met and yours aren't.  I would think of that as selfish.  And I would wonder how much better it will get if you are indeed married.  He may just be an anal guy and that will always be his preference.  

I'm asking about the rest of your relationship because you two are as Rockrose says, somewhat incompatible sexually.  You are at this point anyway.  So, are there any other issues as well?

[coldbloodtruth]

because he really loves me it just hurts that he won't have sex with me, or get the balls to do it.

[coldbloodtruth]

and i call him a virgin in the viginal way

[coldbloodtruth]

he is not married?? maybe you misunderstood marriage was one of his excuses but obviously if he would want me to dominate him into having it he wants it b4