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i cheated on husband, scared to confess, dont know if to confess or not.
I have been married for 5 years and been together for 8 years. Things have always been up and down ans firat he was so sweet to me and with time he changed, with time ive felt like he doesnt reallt give me much attention, we are a good team we work hard enjoy eachothers company, is just that he is so cold at times , there is times he is ok and then he is not, he is not the firgiving type, he doesnt belive in second chances or theraphy.
I cheated on my husband a month ago , we had sex one time, to say i dont even remember what the sex felt like , i did not enjoy it at all , i regret what i did, it has been the biggest mistake ive ever made, i regret it abd i know forsure that is something that i would never do again and that is true, i'm scared to confess because i kbow i would lose him and i dont want to lose him i love him and im asshamed abd feel guilty for what i did, i dont want my marriage to end over my stupid mistake we are all human and make mistakes, i see my mistake and i have learned from it and like i said i wont do it again, the person i did it with will never tell so there is no way he would ever find out, only if i tell him and is what i ak trying to figure out, please i need help i need advice, confess or not?
I cheated on my husband a month ago , we had sex one time, to say i dont even remember what the sex felt like , i did not enjoy it at all , i regret what i did, it has been the biggest mistake ive ever made, i regret it abd i know forsure that is something that i would never do again and that is true, i'm scared to confess because i kbow i would lose him and i dont want to lose him i love him and im asshamed abd feel guilty for what i did, i dont want my marriage to end over my stupid mistake we are all human and make mistakes, i see my mistake and i have learned from it and like i said i wont do it again, the person i did it with will never tell so there is no way he would ever find out, only if i tell him and is what i ak trying to figure out, please i need help i need advice, confess or not?
Best Answer
I own my mistake trust me i look at my self in the mirrow and ask my self abd tell myself why did you do, why did you fall into temptation, i cry loud ij my car because i just dont know what to do!
COMMUNITY LEADER
I'm going to go ahead and agree with anniebrooke that you should hold this secret inside until your dying day and live each day knowing how close you were to losing it all. For the rest of your life, you can make this up to your husband by being faithful, working on the problems, and owning your contribution to them.
I would suggest that you begin seeing a therapist as soon as possible by yourself to discuss what led you down the path of such a bad decision. I'm sure you are a woman that wants to live with integrity and respect for yourself. So, you became weak and did this which is in contradiction to that. You need to really explore that. This need for attention that you have that would allow you to sell out your own morals is something to address. Could you be slightly depressed?
Know that something like you describe with this quick cheating and then deep regret means that often the cheating was a band aid for other problems you and the relationship have. You really need to explore that aspect to it so that you don't weaken again.
And if you feel that it would help improve your marriage dynamic, certainly, go to a seperate therapist as a couple to try to get on the same page again. good luck
I would suggest that you begin seeing a therapist as soon as possible by yourself to discuss what led you down the path of such a bad decision. I'm sure you are a woman that wants to live with integrity and respect for yourself. So, you became weak and did this which is in contradiction to that. You need to really explore that. This need for attention that you have that would allow you to sell out your own morals is something to address. Could you be slightly depressed?
Know that something like you describe with this quick cheating and then deep regret means that often the cheating was a band aid for other problems you and the relationship have. You really need to explore that aspect to it so that you don't weaken again.
And if you feel that it would help improve your marriage dynamic, certainly, go to a seperate therapist as a couple to try to get on the same page again. good luck
Thank you for your feedback , yes it amazes me to on how quickly i have in. Yes i think i am depressed i cant eat im sad , by doing what i did i hurt myself so much, ive always had low self esteem, i grew up with divorced parents. , lived with my dad and step mom since i was six i am 27 now , my dad sexually abused me growing up, and my step mom would put me down all the time which my me feel less .... What i did to my husband is horrible abd has opened my eyes , i love him and care about him so much i dont wabt to hurt him, and dont want to lose him, i know for a fact that i woukd never do that again i have too much to lose, if my hubby ever cheated on me i would not want to i know and if he would tell me i woukd forgive him because i know we can get throught anything, but he is not the forgiving type.
I am also going to look for help , i never got help for anything that has ever happened to me abd with what i did now i think all my emotions about everything came back, i want to smile again and be goofy abd funny how i use to be. I hope one day become a mom, i had ti terminate my pregnabcy two years ago due to the baby having no heartbeat also that made me depressed too he wasnt very supportive the night i lost the baby, he was in bed and me in the bathroom only when the time for the baby to come out he came because i was crying so hard he held me it was a very sad momment, i dont want anymore pain, and i dont want to give him pain
COMMUNITY LEADER
Sweetie, find a therapist. Go and talk about what is going on inside of you. I wish you peace and luck dear
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In our marriage, there is a constant giving of oneself, constant sacrificing and compromising our individuality. We do this for love of another and also to grow old with the person and share all life till the good Lord calls us home.
This constant giving has moments of wanting our individually back and we are tempted, as with affairs, gambling, drugs and the list goes on.
Sometimes we fall and have deep regret but always remember that we are human and can only try and learn from our weakness. We all do it, all have sinned.
I would put this behind you and focus on your creative side. This obviously has had a great inpact on you and has opened up a new part in your thinking ability.
Take this new awareness and turn it into a positive. Try writing poetry, a book, some song lyrics and possibility turning it into a financial gain.
Maybe invent a product.
There are much bigger events going on than the things we get ourselves into.
I wrote the below called "being a better person"
"Just looking up into space and realizing
there are Stars, Black Hoes and Vastness,
also our Galaxy and even the Universe.
They say when we get to the edge of the
Universe our comprehension stops as the
concept of Infinity bangs heads with Self.
Whats up there dosent have to try. it just is.
We are no different but have been taught
otherwise."