i cheated on husband, scared to confess, dont know if to confess or not.

godluvsme

I have been married for 5 years and been together for 8 years. Things have always been up and down ans firat he was so sweet to me and with time he changed, with time ive felt like he doesnt reallt give me much attention, we are a good team we work hard enjoy eachothers company, is just that he is so cold at times , there is times he is ok and then he is not, he is not the firgiving type, he doesnt belive in second chances or theraphy.

I cheated on my husband a month ago , we had sex one time, to say i dont even remember what the sex felt like , i did not enjoy it at all , i regret what i did, it has been the biggest mistake ive ever made, i regret it abd i know forsure that is something that i would never do again and that is true, i'm scared to confess because i kbow i would lose him and i dont want to lose him i love him and im asshamed abd feel guilty for what i did, i dont want my marriage to end over my stupid mistake we are all human and make mistakes, i see my mistake and i have learned from it and like i said i wont do it again, the person i did it with will never tell so there is no way he would ever find out, only if i tell him and is what i ak trying to figure out, please i need help i need advice, confess or not?

Read Responses (5+)

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Best Answer

Life360_Dave

As a person matures their role in life changes. Through the years we have acquired most of what we need both physical, spiritual and emotional. We have our mate, our home and all the other things to live and get comfortable.

In our marriage, there is a constant giving of oneself, constant sacrificing and compromising our individuality. We do this for love of another and also to grow old with the person and share all life till the good Lord calls us home.
This constant giving has moments of wanting our individually back and we are tempted, as with affairs, gambling, drugs and the list goes on.
Sometimes we fall and have deep regret but always remember that we are human and can only try and learn from our weakness. We all do it, all have sinned.
I would put this behind you and focus on your creative side. This obviously has had a great inpact on you and has opened up a new part in your thinking ability.
Take this new awareness and turn it into a positive. Try writing poetry, a book, some song lyrics and possibility turning it into a financial gain.
Maybe invent a product.

There are much bigger events going on than the things we get ourselves into.
I wrote the below called "being a better person"
"Just looking up into space and realizing
  there are Stars, Black Hoes and Vastness,
  also our Galaxy and even the Universe.
  They say when we get to the edge of the
  Universe our comprehension stops as the
  concept of Infinity bangs heads with Self.

  Whats up there dosent have to try. it just is.
  We are no different but have been taught
   otherwise."

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COMMUNITY LEADER

specialmom

I'm going to go ahead and agree with anniebrooke that you should hold this secret inside until your dying day and live each day knowing how close you were to losing it all.  For the rest of your life, you can make this up to your husband by being faithful, working on the problems, and owning your contribution to them.

I would suggest that you begin seeing a therapist as soon as possible by yourself to discuss what led you down the path of such a bad decision.  I'm sure you are a woman that wants to live with integrity and respect for yourself.  So, you became weak and did this which is in contradiction to that.  You need to really explore that.  This need for attention that you have that would allow you to sell out your own morals is something to address.  Could you be slightly depressed?

Know that something like you describe with this quick cheating and then deep regret means that often the cheating was a band aid for other problems you and the relationship have.  You really need to explore that aspect to it so that you don't weaken again.

And if you feel that it would help improve your marriage dynamic, certainly, go to a seperate therapist as a couple to try to get on the same page again.  good luck

Helpful - 0

godluvsme

I own my mistake trust me i look at my self in the mirrow and ask my self abd tell myself why did you do, why did you fall into temptation, i cry loud ij my car because i just dont know what to do!

Helpful - 0

godluvsme

Hi annie, the guilt is killing me, this was something i never thought i would do and did it, wish i could go back in time and erase what i did but i cant, my heart tells me to tell him the trust, but thinking of the pain it will cause him holds me back, ive been trying to figure out why i did it, things that i thought he was always busy with work, he would not even text much to say hi, at times when i would talk to him he would not even make eye contact, the times i tried telling him how i feel, he would just say idk what you are talking about we are ok he never listened to what i had to say abd when he did he would say ok i will and he would for a week abd theb chabge again. This cituation is driving me crazy and idk what to do, god help me

Helpful - 0

1 Comments

MGTOWman

Confess what you did. Then your husband can make the choice as to whether you are worth ever trusting again.

AnnieBrooke

Yes, you made a mistake, but please own it. It wasn't just a mistake, it was a choice that came from your free will. Saying it's a mistake doesn't erase what happened. That is why your intentions from this point forward matter so much. Though I don't think "doing the right thing" in this circumstance means you absolutely must confess to your husband, I do think doing the right thing in this circumstance mandates you figure out why you did it and deal with the pressures that nudged you into doing it, so the lack of confession to him will have meaning. Fix the root problem (if you can), if you are going to take a bye on dealing with the symptom.

Helpful - 0

godluvsme

I also ask not to be judge because no one is perfect we all make mistakes. Im an imperfect person loved by a perfect god!

Helpful - 0

godluvsme

Thank. You, yeah i do love my hubby, i inow it will never happen again, if why day we dont work out i rather have it end because we both see that we dont belong together then end because of a mistake. Ive been through alot growing up always felt lonely, i want my hubby to change i want him to be sweet to me and romantic, i always tell him but he doesnt listen. All i know is i want to save my marriage i dont want to lose him

Helpful - 0