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UTI/Bladder/Kidney/STD question concerning BF's symptoms...

Hi, thanks for taking the time to read this and I hope someone can give me some good advice that my BF will possibly listen too.. Please bare with me while I try and explain this without making it a book. About 3 months ago, my BF and I, for the first time in our relationship, had unprotected sex and it was 2 or 3 nights in a row and then we did not have any sexual contact at all after that and a month later I find out that my BF was having burning when he pee'd, a burning sensation just in general in the area and he had discharge coming out the tip of his penis. The morning I found out, I informed him that just a few days prior, I had out of no where, horrible throbbing pains in my back and actually had to go to the ER and found out that I had a HORRIBLE UTI/Kidney infection. Of course, once I found that out, I had remembered that I briefly, for about a day, remembered feeling something going on and was thinking I was about to have to go in and be checked for a UTI, but had took some OTC urinary pain relief tablets and didn't have anything after that occur, so I didn't act on it until the throbbing occured in my lower back. So I informed him that I woulda had that infection, more than likely, at the same time when we had unprotected sex. So I told him he prolly got the infection I had and he needed to go in and obviously be checked for UTI/bladder/kidney infection. I could tell he was in horrible pain, but he had let this "infection" go for a week before he finally went to the doctor.. Well, of course, I could tell when he told me his symptoms, that his brain was throwing some other options around other than it just being a UTI issue... I totally can understand having those thoughts. He went to the doctor and they tested him only for a UTI and it came back Neg, but they did NOT run anything for bladder/kidney, ect... Once that came back neg, this doctor literally looked at him and said, "U more than likely have something serious as in an STD and we need to run testing, you need to contact ur partner(s) and inform her/them and prepare for the worse." I am very careful with who I sleep with and that there is ALWAYS protection, but this one time, I/we slipped up. I have an IUD for birth control and have had it for 8 years and ever since getting it put in and knowing the risks it does have with even the smallest/cureable thing, it scares the holy bejesus out of me.. I do get tested and screened every 6 months because it scares me so much, even when I was still married to my husband. The doctor that my BF went to, informed him that men do not get UTI's/etc unless they are (excuse my french), "butt-******* other dudes"... That was exactly what he told him, so of course, my BF immediately thought the worst. So, they swabbed and did bloodwork and what not and told him it would be a week before they would know and then they gave him a shot, 4 antibiotic pills and 2 urinary relief tablets and sent him home thinking I was calling him gay and basically that I was more than likely messin' around on him. Well I freaked out anxiety wise 24 hours later and was actually hospitalized over it. My doctor informed me that his symptoms were suggestive of chlamydia or ghonarhea(sp), if it was an std and obviously could be taken care of with an antibiotic and that because I had been on the meds for the UTI/kidney infection, even if I had had something, more than likely, it wasn't gonna show up now... But I got tested anyways, it was nearing the 6 month mark anyways, so why not. Well, a week later, we both found out that all our tests came up negative for everything, I figured mine would anyways cause I had already been on the meds, but his tests came back neg and they ran tests before they gave him any medications. It actually ruined our relationship/friendship and we didn't speak for 2 weeks. I knew that the only time prior to that night with my BF that I had had unprotected sex with anyone in the last 6 months, was a couple months before that when I was raped by an ex of mine and that was the only time with him that we had unprotected sex in 2 years. Well, after a couple weeks, my BF and I talked and worked things out and we got back together. Now over the couple months from the beginning of my first symptom, up to about 3 maybe 4 weeks ago, I have been battling this UTI/kidney infection because I found out that I was passing several kidney stones. I kept telling my BF that we shouldn't be having sex while I was battling all that and on the medications, but men will be men (lol)... Well, I have not had any issues or symptoms since I passed the last 2 stones and right now, for about the last week and a half, almost 2 weeks, my BF started having those same symptoms as before only this time, he went out and got Cranberry juice and has been adding a glass of it to his liquids daily. He says every day seems to get a little better, but he is still having the symptoms. Now, I need to add in here also... My BF only consumes water and soda every day from 5am to say 5pm and then from 5pm until he falls asleep, he drinks nothing but beer, every single night.. I would say prolly 6-10 16 oz Budweiser beers every night during that allotted time... I'm trying to be thorough on this so I'm sorry for it being so long... Now, my question is.... because of how this happened the first time when we both ended up getting tested and all and we both came up negative and neither of us visually have anything down south and because we both know I was fighting the UTI/kidney stuff there for quite a while.... Do you think it's necessary for both of us to be retested again for the STD testing? I have not had any issues what so ever since I passed the last 2 stones and because I do get myself tested every 6 months for my own sanity as is, do you feel it's necessary for me to get checked out again already? Is it more than likely a similar infection due to what I had that he contracted again and more than likely is probably the culprit? And due to all of the beer that he consumes, on top of having a UTI/bladder/kidney infection (if that is what he is), could all of the yeast in the beer cause his symptoms to be worse and cause him to have the discharge? Because of this doctor, he just automatically sees stuff leaking out the tip of his penis and his brain screams "THE DRIP" and his brain automatically goes right to thinking STD and he thinks that is the only way a man can drip anything from the tip of their penis.. He hasn't finished paying for the last visit to the clinic and can't afford to get stuck with another huge bill just because they can't run the simple tests that would tell him if it's just an infection intead of sticking him with STD testing and I personally can't go through all the heartache again from him flipping out due to some ignorant doctors opinion of how the only way he'd have "the drip" is because he's gay or because he's got an STD. I just wanted to be able to ask someone, a medical professional, this question to get an opinion that is other than mine to go off of so that he can figure out what to do. I just got distracted by a phone call and now have lost my train of thought on making sure I got as much information typed here and in as easy to follow format as I would like, so I will stop my post here and see if that is enough information for you to be able to give me a pretty good lead for a 3rd persons professional opinion. Thank you for taking the time to read this and thank you in advance for your cooperation and your effort to help me solve this. I appreciate it! Thanks.
1 Responses
Avatar universal
1st I think your bf needs to address his alcohol intake. 6-10 beers a night is a sign of a problem.

I would have guess a STD based on symptoms by him. Can't say what is going on but I suggest he has a urinalysis done and STD testing done again just to cover all bases. We can't say what is going on only testing can.
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