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I had my first sex and have being bleeding. Please I need advice
To know more about sexual life
COMMUNITY LEADER
Hi, sweetheart. Well, it is pretty traditional to bleed after first sex. Not everyone does, however. (Though in more chauvinistic countries, women really stress about the possibility that they might not bleed, because they are worried that their husband will think they are not a virgin when they get married and in some places that is still a really serious big deal.)
Anyway, there are a lot of human-sexuality educational resources out there. If you google the kind of questions you have, and avoid the pervy and the porn sites, you should find educational websites that have health-oriented kinds of information for people who are just learning about sexuality.
My advice to you is not to have sex for the wrong reasons. A whole lot of young girls do it for the wrong reasons. (And in my book, someone under 16 really is too young to be having sex, 17 is better than 16, 18 is better than either 17 or 16.) The main wrong reason is that they are being pressured by their boyfriend for it, or that it is simply expected by the guy, and they are afraid they will lose the guy if they don't sleep with him. This would be a situation in which the older and wiser female would notice that the guy is a blackmailer or an opportunist, and he doesn't show much that he cares about the girl who has to make this important choice. If you are in that kind of a boat, I would urge you to rethink your own motives. It is better to lose a boyfriend than to be nothing but a booty call.
The best reason to have sex is if you, yourself, want it for your own gratification and closeness to the guy, and if you are confident he loves you as much as you love him. I hope that is where you are.
Regarding the bleeding -- take some sitzbaths, and if you want, wrap a sack of frozen peas into a clean t-shirt and sit your lady parts right down on it. (Peas are great because they are so small and granular -- runners use them for their tendons all the time.)
The bleeding should stop soon. If not, see your doctor.
Good luck, sweetheart. Always be your own number-one advocate. Tell your sweetheart that there will be NO sex play without the condom, even if you are on the pill. You have to keep yourself safe, nobody else is going to care as much as you, and it can be a matter of survival. (There is a whole lot of dangerous stuff going around that is sexually transmitted, let alone the risk of pregnancy.) Get educated. Never do anything you are uncomfortable doing. Let your own pleasure be your guide. It is great to be a sexual being, just don't be a victim.
(((HUGS)))
Annie
Anyway, there are a lot of human-sexuality educational resources out there. If you google the kind of questions you have, and avoid the pervy and the porn sites, you should find educational websites that have health-oriented kinds of information for people who are just learning about sexuality.
My advice to you is not to have sex for the wrong reasons. A whole lot of young girls do it for the wrong reasons. (And in my book, someone under 16 really is too young to be having sex, 17 is better than 16, 18 is better than either 17 or 16.) The main wrong reason is that they are being pressured by their boyfriend for it, or that it is simply expected by the guy, and they are afraid they will lose the guy if they don't sleep with him. This would be a situation in which the older and wiser female would notice that the guy is a blackmailer or an opportunist, and he doesn't show much that he cares about the girl who has to make this important choice. If you are in that kind of a boat, I would urge you to rethink your own motives. It is better to lose a boyfriend than to be nothing but a booty call.
The best reason to have sex is if you, yourself, want it for your own gratification and closeness to the guy, and if you are confident he loves you as much as you love him. I hope that is where you are.
Regarding the bleeding -- take some sitzbaths, and if you want, wrap a sack of frozen peas into a clean t-shirt and sit your lady parts right down on it. (Peas are great because they are so small and granular -- runners use them for their tendons all the time.)
The bleeding should stop soon. If not, see your doctor.
Good luck, sweetheart. Always be your own number-one advocate. Tell your sweetheart that there will be NO sex play without the condom, even if you are on the pill. You have to keep yourself safe, nobody else is going to care as much as you, and it can be a matter of survival. (There is a whole lot of dangerous stuff going around that is sexually transmitted, let alone the risk of pregnancy.) Get educated. Never do anything you are uncomfortable doing. Let your own pleasure be your guide. It is great to be a sexual being, just don't be a victim.
(((HUGS)))
Annie
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Thanks dear.
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