Aa
I’m only 13, and I have a protruding/fatty mons.
I’m 13 and in the 8th grade, and I’m extremely self conscious about my mons pubis. It’s so big and it makes me look like a guy. I’m constantly worrying about it, and I feel like everyone stares at it. I just dream about having a normal, flat mons and being able to wear whatever I want, but I just CANT. It’s terrible and I feel like I’m completely alone. I want to get rid of it and I’ve tried losing weight but I feel like it just keeps getting fatter. I’m about 135-140 lbs, and I’m moderately active I guess. (I try to work out now and then.) I dont want to ask my mom to pay for a surgery, because I’m probably not even old enough. Please help, this is ruining my life and my self esteem is shattered!
COMMUNITY LEADER
Sweetheart, as you know, some clothes are worse than others for showing off one's profile (and this includes boobs, butt, stomach, underarm fat, not just mons). I have a relatively normal pubic bone and the usual amount of flesh on top of it, and I went to a shop once and tried on a really pretty dress that happened to be was cut on the bias (very clingy in exactly the crotch area, as it turned out). I would have sworn I had a cinnamon roll stuffed into the front of my underwear, for how prominent it was. My friend wanted to see, and I wouldn't even come out of the dressing room. What did I do? I didn't buy the dress.
Nobody in the world can wear "whatever I want" even if they are a supermodel. Some things just do not favor some bodies, the way some colors are better than others for some skin tones. If you think you could wear any garment in the world if your mons were smaller, that is probably not true. Please don't let this reality of fashion cause you to hate your body or feel like it is not female or feminine. It is quintessentially feminine.
It's likely that as you grow, things will balance out a bit, and also I assume you have figured out from experimentation what clothes show off more that you prefer not to show off, and what ones show off less. Can you bring yourself to talk to your mom about this, and have her go with you when you try on pants, so she can see what is bothering you and throw her heart into the search for the right fit and cut? (My mom would have been useless for this when I was 13, I hate to say, though she did give me good advice on a couple of rules of dress.) Do you have an aunt you can confide in? She might give you an un-biased assessment of whether your mons really does stick out more than the norm. We tend to see our own faults (or perceived faults) more than others do, and it would help to hear from someone else about whether this is even noticeable.
I think there is a chance that this is more you being self-conscious than it really is that others are staring. Most kids your age are too worried about their own body to be staring at others' bods, and it probably doesn't poke out as massively as you think.
The other thing to remember is, no matter what we look like, it does not change our validity as a person, or our value. There are people doing wonderful things who are not "media beauties" and this has always been true. JP Morgan had a horribly, chronically inflamed nose all his life. No chance of hiding that with good tailoring! But, he was still JP Morgan. Eleanor Roosevelt was no belle of the day, but she was still one of the greatest humanitarians of her generation. Think big, you deserve to fly.
(((HUGS)))
Annie
Nobody in the world can wear "whatever I want" even if they are a supermodel. Some things just do not favor some bodies, the way some colors are better than others for some skin tones. If you think you could wear any garment in the world if your mons were smaller, that is probably not true. Please don't let this reality of fashion cause you to hate your body or feel like it is not female or feminine. It is quintessentially feminine.
It's likely that as you grow, things will balance out a bit, and also I assume you have figured out from experimentation what clothes show off more that you prefer not to show off, and what ones show off less. Can you bring yourself to talk to your mom about this, and have her go with you when you try on pants, so she can see what is bothering you and throw her heart into the search for the right fit and cut? (My mom would have been useless for this when I was 13, I hate to say, though she did give me good advice on a couple of rules of dress.) Do you have an aunt you can confide in? She might give you an un-biased assessment of whether your mons really does stick out more than the norm. We tend to see our own faults (or perceived faults) more than others do, and it would help to hear from someone else about whether this is even noticeable.
I think there is a chance that this is more you being self-conscious than it really is that others are staring. Most kids your age are too worried about their own body to be staring at others' bods, and it probably doesn't poke out as massively as you think.
The other thing to remember is, no matter what we look like, it does not change our validity as a person, or our value. There are people doing wonderful things who are not "media beauties" and this has always been true. JP Morgan had a horribly, chronically inflamed nose all his life. No chance of hiding that with good tailoring! But, he was still JP Morgan. Eleanor Roosevelt was no belle of the day, but she was still one of the greatest humanitarians of her generation. Think big, you deserve to fly.
(((HUGS)))
Annie
4 Comments
Thank you for this. It made me feel better, although it would still be nice to get rid of it.
I think time will help, I know at 13 that is not a cheering statement but it is true. And seriously, remember, you ARE female, all of this "it makes me look like a guy" stuff is NOT true, you're a girl and proud of it too, I bet.
Once I was complaining about someone who had mocked me for my first name, and a friend who was not particularly beautiful in a standard way, said "Better your name than your face." In a list of physical characteristics that someone might complain about, having a fleshy mons is not the world's biggest problem. (There are even guys who will find it super sexy.) Try not to stress.
Once I was complaining about someone who had mocked me for my first name, and a friend who was not particularly beautiful in a standard way, said "Better your name than your face." In a list of physical characteristics that someone might complain about, having a fleshy mons is not the world's biggest problem. (There are even guys who will find it super sexy.) Try not to stress.
Another problem is that I’m super short, and I’m not really going to get any taller. My mom is short and so is my dad, so I don’t really know if I’ll grow out of it.
There is always a way to get to your peak physical perfection. (A lot of famous beauties are no taller than 5'1.") I'm not saying height will eliminate your perceived problem, I'm saying your adult body will grow and more than likely things will balance out and you will look normal to yourself.
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