Aa
birth control for old goats?
Hubby wants to make love...I do NOT!
Biggest reasons?
#1...perimenopausal...still get periods...can still get pregnant.
Doctor said I CANNOT use the pill...even the one made for " Old goats " lol
#2...no urge, EXCEPT during ovulation...ugh
Can't use condoms...we both suffer from allergies...we both get rashes...we both swell...and I won't mention the rest lol.
Have tried suppositories and creams that are inserted half hour before...these result in yeast infections and worse.
Being 45, I KNOW that the pull out method is NOT reliable.
I can't have a tubal as I'm a " bleeder " and I have a three and a half year old to contend with. A hospital stay ( for even a day or two ) is out of the question...hubby needs to work, and we have no family around...but mostly because I'm deathly afraid to bleed to death. Had to have transfusion when last one was born, and NOT doing that again.
He won't have a vasectomy because for some odd reason he thinks he will either turn gay or that his "thing" will be broken for good. LOL!!!!!!!
Aren't men hilarious?
Anyway...anyone have any suggestions? My doctor won't talk about things like that...guess he figures that old people shouldn't make love. I think he just hit puberty himself. lol
I've read about this new shot that men can get, but because hubby already has lung issues, he's afraid to even ask the doctor about getting them. Not sure how safe they are.
Biggest reasons?
#1...perimenopausal...still get periods...can still get pregnant.
Doctor said I CANNOT use the pill...even the one made for " Old goats " lol
#2...no urge, EXCEPT during ovulation...ugh
Can't use condoms...we both suffer from allergies...we both get rashes...we both swell...and I won't mention the rest lol.
Have tried suppositories and creams that are inserted half hour before...these result in yeast infections and worse.
Being 45, I KNOW that the pull out method is NOT reliable.
I can't have a tubal as I'm a " bleeder " and I have a three and a half year old to contend with. A hospital stay ( for even a day or two ) is out of the question...hubby needs to work, and we have no family around...but mostly because I'm deathly afraid to bleed to death. Had to have transfusion when last one was born, and NOT doing that again.
He won't have a vasectomy because for some odd reason he thinks he will either turn gay or that his "thing" will be broken for good. LOL!!!!!!!
Aren't men hilarious?
Anyway...anyone have any suggestions? My doctor won't talk about things like that...guess he figures that old people shouldn't make love. I think he just hit puberty himself. lol
I've read about this new shot that men can get, but because hubby already has lung issues, he's afraid to even ask the doctor about getting them. Not sure how safe they are.
Hubby will be 50 soon...so just a tad older than myself.
My SIL had those coils instead of a tubal...she has been in pain ever since.
They caused her periods to go all wonky, and she's constantly on antibiotics for infection. Her ob/gyn says she will now have to have surgery... full hysterectomy.
So I would rather not risk it. I had problems years ago with an IUD...infections all the time...so I could just imagine ( with my luck ) what would happen with those coils.
If he would just get the vasectomy, everything would be okay again.
The biggest reason he won't have a vasectomy is his mother!
SHE'S the one who demanded that my SIL get " fixed " as she called it.
She doesn't want her sons to be altered in any way, shape, or form.
We discussed birth control ( his mom and I ) a few of years ago.( after babe was born ) She was very upset that we had a baby so " late in life ".
At that time, she DEMANDED that I go in and get " fixed ".
I told her gently that I was a bleeder...I explained that it was a 5 minute procedure for her son to get " fixed "...and she went on a rampage because my SIL " obeyed her " and had it done...so I should have it done too.
I asked her if she was going to raise her grandchild while I was in the hospital. She said she didn't have time. I asked her if she would take care of her grandson if I should bleed to death. She said that she would come and stay with her son for 2 weeks if I died. She would get them on a schedule and teach them how to live without me, and then she would return home. Two weeks? Really?!! How kind of her...
(In case you haven't noticed, I have the wicked witch as a MIL. But that's for the depression and anxiety forums. )
Well...that didn't go over too well. The fight was on.
Hubby and I talked about a vasectomy about 2 years ago, when our sex life was just starting to go downhill drastically. He agreed that it was probably the best solution...but he never found time to do it. Ugh.
I think his biggest problem is that my ex husband had a vasectomy, and he knows this. My ex husband and I divorced because he was bi...so now this hubby thinks it was the vasectomy that caused it. I told him that he was thinking more along the lines of what they used to do to Eunuchs.
They removed the testicals so that their voices would stay " young and heavenly "... Men have over active imaginations. lol
I told him about those new shots that they advertised for awhile...the ones for men. But he still can't find time to do even that.
So I guess lack of nooky really isn't that bad for him. If it was, he would do something about it.
As for the condoms...My dentist uses non-latex gloves on me...and I get a rash on my face every time still. So I'm guessing it's the material of both?
Have tried the diaphragms and such as well...allergic. Not sure if it's the material, but I know for fact that ( because of the past usage of foams ) that the spermicide is mainly a factor .
I have more allergies than the boy in the bubble I think. Okay, not more than, but probably almost as many.
Sex is overrated anyway...but I sure do miss the closeness. The cuddling.
Hubby can't cuddle without wanting more. Can any man?
However, on the bright side...he's starting to show his age. He can't sleep through the night without having to pee...so looks like he's starting the male version of menopause. I can only pray that the ED comes soon. lol
In the meantime, he knows what showers are for...and if he doesn't want to get " fixed " then he's gonna turn into a prune.
My SIL had those coils instead of a tubal...she has been in pain ever since.
They caused her periods to go all wonky, and she's constantly on antibiotics for infection. Her ob/gyn says she will now have to have surgery... full hysterectomy.
So I would rather not risk it. I had problems years ago with an IUD...infections all the time...so I could just imagine ( with my luck ) what would happen with those coils.
If he would just get the vasectomy, everything would be okay again.
The biggest reason he won't have a vasectomy is his mother!
SHE'S the one who demanded that my SIL get " fixed " as she called it.
She doesn't want her sons to be altered in any way, shape, or form.
We discussed birth control ( his mom and I ) a few of years ago.( after babe was born ) She was very upset that we had a baby so " late in life ".
At that time, she DEMANDED that I go in and get " fixed ".
I told her gently that I was a bleeder...I explained that it was a 5 minute procedure for her son to get " fixed "...and she went on a rampage because my SIL " obeyed her " and had it done...so I should have it done too.
I asked her if she was going to raise her grandchild while I was in the hospital. She said she didn't have time. I asked her if she would take care of her grandson if I should bleed to death. She said that she would come and stay with her son for 2 weeks if I died. She would get them on a schedule and teach them how to live without me, and then she would return home. Two weeks? Really?!! How kind of her...
(In case you haven't noticed, I have the wicked witch as a MIL. But that's for the depression and anxiety forums. )
Well...that didn't go over too well. The fight was on.
Hubby and I talked about a vasectomy about 2 years ago, when our sex life was just starting to go downhill drastically. He agreed that it was probably the best solution...but he never found time to do it. Ugh.
I think his biggest problem is that my ex husband had a vasectomy, and he knows this. My ex husband and I divorced because he was bi...so now this hubby thinks it was the vasectomy that caused it. I told him that he was thinking more along the lines of what they used to do to Eunuchs.
They removed the testicals so that their voices would stay " young and heavenly "... Men have over active imaginations. lol
I told him about those new shots that they advertised for awhile...the ones for men. But he still can't find time to do even that.
So I guess lack of nooky really isn't that bad for him. If it was, he would do something about it.
As for the condoms...My dentist uses non-latex gloves on me...and I get a rash on my face every time still. So I'm guessing it's the material of both?
Have tried the diaphragms and such as well...allergic. Not sure if it's the material, but I know for fact that ( because of the past usage of foams ) that the spermicide is mainly a factor .
I have more allergies than the boy in the bubble I think. Okay, not more than, but probably almost as many.
Sex is overrated anyway...but I sure do miss the closeness. The cuddling.
Hubby can't cuddle without wanting more. Can any man?
However, on the bright side...he's starting to show his age. He can't sleep through the night without having to pee...so looks like he's starting the male version of menopause. I can only pray that the ED comes soon. lol
In the meantime, he knows what showers are for...and if he doesn't want to get " fixed " then he's gonna turn into a prune.
COMMUNITY LEADER
Is your husband older than you? I actually wouldn't think a 45-year-old man is an old goat.
I can see a busy woman with a 3-year-old who has strong reasons not to want to get pregnant (and hasn't much urge anyway), saying no to sex, but if he's your age, it does seem a little unreasonable to ask a 45-year-old man to whistle sex down the wind for the rest of his life. Is your plan simply to wait until menopause and then say yes, or to write off sex for the rest of your life? If the latter, the two of you need to have a talk (maybe with a counselor) about how he can have a satisfactory sex life within those constraints. If sex would be OK with you as long as you didn't have to fear getting pregnant, then it seems reasonable for him to re-think the vasectomy issue.
I think different couples approach this differently, some develop techniques that don't involve penetration, some even work out 'open marriages' (though that doesn't often work well) -- one thing that's probably true is that not talking about it becomes problematic in the relationship. My poor husband thought I found him fat and unattractive when I was home taking care of our baby, when I was simply exhausted, entirely not horny, and busy. It did erode our basic patience with each other.
I can see a busy woman with a 3-year-old who has strong reasons not to want to get pregnant (and hasn't much urge anyway), saying no to sex, but if he's your age, it does seem a little unreasonable to ask a 45-year-old man to whistle sex down the wind for the rest of his life. Is your plan simply to wait until menopause and then say yes, or to write off sex for the rest of your life? If the latter, the two of you need to have a talk (maybe with a counselor) about how he can have a satisfactory sex life within those constraints. If sex would be OK with you as long as you didn't have to fear getting pregnant, then it seems reasonable for him to re-think the vasectomy issue.
I think different couples approach this differently, some develop techniques that don't involve penetration, some even work out 'open marriages' (though that doesn't often work well) -- one thing that's probably true is that not talking about it becomes problematic in the relationship. My poor husband thought I found him fat and unattractive when I was home taking care of our baby, when I was simply exhausted, entirely not horny, and busy. It did erode our basic patience with each other.
You can look into Essure permanent birth control. It's not a hormone. It's coils that are placed in your fallopian tubes causing scar tissue and blocking the fallopian tubes so the egg and sperm cannot meet. They can place them in the doctor's office and you can go home afterwwards. Here is the Mayo Clinic info copied to this page.
"The Essure system is a type of permanent birth control for women. The Essure system includes two small metal and fiber coils that are placed in the fallopian tubes. They're inserted through the vagina, so no incision is required.
After insertion, scar tissue forms around the coils, blocking off the fallopian tubes and preventing sperm from reaching the egg. It takes time for this to happen. So you must use another form of birth control for the first three months. You'll then have an X-ray (hysterosalpingography) to confirm that your fallopian tubes are blocked."
"The Essure system is a type of permanent birth control for women. The Essure system includes two small metal and fiber coils that are placed in the fallopian tubes. They're inserted through the vagina, so no incision is required.
After insertion, scar tissue forms around the coils, blocking off the fallopian tubes and preventing sperm from reaching the egg. It takes time for this to happen. So you must use another form of birth control for the first three months. You'll then have an X-ray (hysterosalpingography) to confirm that your fallopian tubes are blocked."
Have you looked for non-latex condoms or is it the spermicide that you're having allergies to? There are also diaphragms and cervical caps that you can buy. Both are used with spermicide, which does take away from the possibility of spontaneous sex.
It's too bad he won't get a vasectomy as it's so easy for a male. They just go in, get it done in a few minutes, and walk out. Men are definitely silly! lol
It's too bad he won't get a vasectomy as it's so easy for a male. They just go in, get it done in a few minutes, and walk out. Men are definitely silly! lol
Have an Answer?
You are reading content posted in the Women's Health Community
STDs can't be transmitted by casual contact, like hugging or touching.
Syphilis is an STD that is transmitted by oral, genital and anal sex.
Normal vaginal discharge varies in color, smell, texture and amount.
Bumps in the genital area might be STDs, but are usually not serious.
Chlamydia, an STI, often has no symptoms, but must be treated.
From skin changes to weight loss to unusual bleeding, here are 15 cancer warning signs that women tend to ignore.
