Bye Bye 11 months

[gizzy32]

Posting this is so so so hard, but I have to. I just tossed almost 11 months clean away this weekend. I am so ill right now and have to stop using. Things have been so good lately, but life can change in the blink of an eye. I am writing this post cause I need help to stop and although I deserve to be yelled at and put down, I am asking for some compassion right now, not telling me how stupid I am.

All my advice I have given here over 2 years and I messed up. Please forgive me. Although we have to want to quit for ourselves, this time I don't want to, but I will stop tomorrow for my daughter. She is back in my life and gives me joy and I love her. I am truly sorry for letting ya'll down, but I am sorry for letting ME down the most. I need some support now more than ever. Thank you friends. Please say a prayer for me if you can.

[vicki595]

((((( GIZZY )))))    I go away for a few days and all hell breaks loose!!!   Chin up Sweetie!!

You're in great company !!  A weak moment or two just happens because we're not perfect and those "moments" are part of the human condition.  All we can do is try day to day and some days are diamonds and some days are stones. And so it goes...

You'll be fine.  You know what to do now and you're doing it. No butt kicking from me.
I think you've probably beat yourself up enough!!!!

Now put a smile on your face and turn on the GOLF Channel !!!

Much love~
V.

[happynessbythekilowatt]

Hey dude don't beat yourself up over it just pick yourself back up and move on. It happens to the best of us man. You have given me some great advice since I have been coming here since fall of 2008. We are all addicts here.

God grant us the serenity
To accept the things we cannot change
The courage to change the things we can
And the wisdom to know the difference
Just for today

[hopefulagain]

Hey Chris.....Im so sorry to hear about your slip.....I hope you are feeling better. I know you will pick yourself up and start again..afterall how many times did you help me to do just that?? nevermind ..dont answer that..lol....Really tho..you know what you have to do and how to do it..it ***** right now but think how great you will feel again in a few days. YOU were such a huge part of me getting clean...you never gave up on me...and helped me thru the darkerst, ugliest time of my life...I now have a little over 9 months clean thanks to all of your help. support and friendship.. i am here for you my friend and i am routing you on!! I know you will be fine and back to helping so many people as you always do in no time!  I Love ya buddy!!!
Lori

[kittycat1433]

Im so sorry forputting thing's the way i did,what i meant was that it's going to be ok that is all and don't beat yourself up Sarah is rite and you could have died or alot of other thing's could have happened thank god you are ok and everyone please excuse my last comment i am going to leave the group now. thanksfor the one's that have helped me.

[dominosarah]

Isnt it scary how fast this can happen??  Just a blink of an eye....We always have to keep our guard up.     Congrats on that clean time!!!             sara

[candothis247]

Hi Gizzy -- Thanks for sharing - it goes to show all of us you cant take anything for granted. I have 7 months clean time - each day is a gift. I came here a year ago and you helped me with such kind words and support. You have helped so many here with your support. Lots of love and prayers coming your way. I understand how hard it is. This is a much better life over here on the clean side. Im so glad i got off the pills, i have the beginnings of a new life that is going to be wonderful. Stay in touch.

[stilltrying1965]

Hey bud proud of you for telling the forum the truth.After 11 months you could have said nothing and kept it to yourself. So proud of you or being so honest. Now bud lets get this good thing going. Good luck Gizzy ,,,,,,,James

[Dav125]

Kitty, please settle some. People will respond to you but you have to stop putting expectations on when.

[kittycat1433]

My god enough of the oh you can doit again and oh bla bla bla. i would still say iv'e been clean 11mo with 1 slip whoopee,you are still here and don't intend on doing it again so it's over and done to much drama from some people i know im a newbe on here but im jst saying it the way i see it i know everyone is only trying t support everybody but sometimes itseem's so well never mind. So how are you today i sent you a mesage abt 2 hrs. ago don't know if you goy itor not like i said im a newbe, and still trying everyday to get a little better on this com lol at least im not doing it in cap's anymore my goodness really lol so i hope your doing well let me know

[Dav125]

It took alot of courage to humble yourself to speak of this Gizzy. That speaks volumes for your inner being..You'll be ok. Count on it..David

[Totsie59]

I love you soo much...you helped me thru my darkest days....You will be ok...you can do this AGAIN....
I smile when I think about some of the things you told me to help me thru my WDS....And I always called you Grizzly...LOL
Hang in...be strong....I know you can do this...YOM

[pepper1107]

You have and still are an inspiration to many of us.  I am sorry that you are starting over but if anyone can do it, I know you can.  Please stay strong and know how much you mean to us!

[Htownnofrown]

There's a saying in AA that fits this situation perfectly: We don't shoot our wounded. Hang in there, the sickness will pass as you know, just try to jump into aftercare as soon as possible, i'm sure you know this will help all those feelings of guilt/shame go away, and get you back on track with your recovery. We're all here for you!

[Purbeckgirl]

Great post Jim, my sons friend died at 32 years old from an heroin overdose.My son and I were at the funeral.

[jim4760]

Just hang in there man.I was clean and sober for nearly 8yrs and I went back on it.Im back off it now,right enough.You've just got to get back up,pat yourself down,and learn from the experience so it doesnt happen a 2nd time.Remember,you're here to tell the story you slipped up...Lots of people who slip up dont get a 2nd chance at it and get buried in their best suit.

[gizzy32]

LMAO. I know I am gonna get beat up in a few days, but ty for waiting, haha.

[dominosarah]

Teel better!!!  LOL

[beatingthis]

did I say teel better, how about feel better!  lol!

[beatingthis]

It will pass Giz, Then we all to get a piece of your A$$ lol!!! I want a small fleshy part. :)


Teel better. We love you!

[dominosarah]

Congrats on 1 day gizzy.  You know you can do this.  The a$$ chewing will commence in a few days!!!!!!!!!!!        mp

[gizzy32]

Hi friends,

Today is day one and that is more painful to say then this hangover and dope sickness I am feeling. Back to reality again and deal with what I did to myself.

Just wanted to thank you for the support and not being too hard on me this time, I am hard enough on myself. All I can do is move forward and take it one day at a time. I was so proud of my 11 months clean. Hope to those just starting out in recovery, you learn from my mistake, this is a life long battle, so keep your guard up and work your recovery. I will be ok:)

[LeaAnn807]

Gizzy, I'm sorry about this.  I know how hard it is to pick up and have to start over, but don't let that guilt stop you!  What on earth happened?  You seemed to be doing so well.  

Just know that we're on here to help and support you!  

Hugs!

Lea Ann

[shrimpman]

Hey Giz----sorry you are struggling right now------you have my prayers and support always-----take care friend-----let us know how your doing---Jon

[falconflyer]

Relapse is part of it mate, your back looking to get clean again and thats all that matters. Dust yourself off, chaulk it down to experience mate and go again..

best of luck,