Aa
I'm at my rock bottom. Please help!
I'm asking all of you, my friends, to be part of my last desparate hope. I call you my friends, even though I have not posted a lot, but I have seen yiour hearts, felt your pain, and cried with you over countless hours the last few months. I'm crying now, as I write this, because I will have to leave a very wonderful friend to face the demons of the pills of false happiness alone. It is not my choice, because she has pushed me out of her life, but as many of you have warned me, addiction can ruin the lives of those near the addicted. I'm still willing to have my heart pierced a few more times, but maybe it is for the best, for me.
Please find one more example of the compassion you have shown by writng an anonomous letter to my friend when answering this post. She is 34, single, and has had "a problem with pain pills "all of her life" (problably roxycodone). To my knowledge she has kept this a secret from everyone. She is not at rock bottom, and I believe she is in and out of withdrawals as her money dictates. I cannot get her on this forum. I don't know her dosages.
Please write the letter to "A", from (your first name) (or nickname), where you are from, and what you would like to say to her. I know this is a long shot, and that she has to be ready, but when things get desperate, one must try anything.
I sincerely thank you all from the bottom of my heart. My prayers will continue to include all of you, and her, and I wish you all the best as you try to get your life back.
Sincerely,
Friend999
Please find one more example of the compassion you have shown by writng an anonomous letter to my friend when answering this post. She is 34, single, and has had "a problem with pain pills "all of her life" (problably roxycodone). To my knowledge she has kept this a secret from everyone. She is not at rock bottom, and I believe she is in and out of withdrawals as her money dictates. I cannot get her on this forum. I don't know her dosages.
Please write the letter to "A", from (your first name) (or nickname), where you are from, and what you would like to say to her. I know this is a long shot, and that she has to be ready, but when things get desperate, one must try anything.
I sincerely thank you all from the bottom of my heart. My prayers will continue to include all of you, and her, and I wish you all the best as you try to get your life back.
Sincerely,
Friend999
I am overwhelmed by your support. These are exactly the type of letters I was hoping for. Bless you all. I do not have the experience of being addicted (Experience? I can't believe I said that) but it is really hard for me to believe that such powerful messages such as what I have read here cannot penetrate the "fog". You folks say probably not, but isn't it worth the try?
To all others, please write a letter to my friend "A". I would be so gratefull.
To all others, please write a letter to my friend "A". I would be so gratefull.
My name is Mary. I'm 48 years old. I take Suboxone, so I am not clean yet, but headed in the right direction.
Are you feeling that this addiction is much stronger than you ? That your not like other addicts, that you won't be able to overcome this ? That your too far gone to be saved and you will be an addict until it kills you ? Do you wake up every morning feeling hopeless and think I will never be able to get out of this vicious cycle of abusing.
These are all the things that used to go through my head.
You are not alone in this.
I guarantee some of the things you are thinking, I have thought also.
Please don't be afraid. Just take one step for today. Just one step.
Come on this forum and read. No commitment . Just read.
Never lose hope ! Hugs to you. Mary
Are you feeling that this addiction is much stronger than you ? That your not like other addicts, that you won't be able to overcome this ? That your too far gone to be saved and you will be an addict until it kills you ? Do you wake up every morning feeling hopeless and think I will never be able to get out of this vicious cycle of abusing.
These are all the things that used to go through my head.
You are not alone in this.
I guarantee some of the things you are thinking, I have thought also.
Please don't be afraid. Just take one step for today. Just one step.
Come on this forum and read. No commitment . Just read.
Never lose hope ! Hugs to you. Mary
Dear A,
My name is Magi. I am oldest of three sisters, all of us are pain pill addicts. Myself and the youngest sister, Mary, are on the road to recovery. The middle sister, Dee, is still very actively useing and in extreme denial. I am going to speak to you as if you were my sister, because you very well could be.
To my sister,
I have so much fear for what IS happening and may happen to you, that it consumes my thoughts on a daily basis. I know you don't see, feel or beleive the changes that are slowly takeing over you, but I have been there, I recognize them. I didn't see them in myself either until I stopped. I'm so afraid you will never admit that the pills are takeing over and takeing you further away from us. I know you think you have it under control and that you have a high tolerance, when in all actuality, you have lost all control. Why can't you see this? We have warned you of every step of this addiction thing. You have seen first hand what it did to us and the struggle we've gone thru, time and time again, to break free of this. But you continue to put your hand up to us in dismissal, like we're exaggerating it all and like we're anti-drug zealots. Don't you understand, we're trying to pass on our knowledge to you, so that you won't need to go thru what we have.
I'm so afraid you will never stop the pills. That you're gonna keep increasing the amount you take, until one day, you don't wake up. What are we gonna do then? How will our family go on without you? How can we wake up every day knowing your not there anymore? That maybe I could have done something more? Said something that would have made a difference? Why couldn't I have stopped you? What will happen when I go to call you and remember that your not there? How will there ever be a holiday again? How will I ever be able to look your son in the face? What do I say to him when he crys " Why didn't you make her stop?, "You knew, you should have done something" My Mom is dead because you did nothing". He won't understand when I tell him, addicts have to want to stop and that I tried to warn you. What do I tell him when he asks " Why didn't she love me enough to quit?", "Why did she love the pills more than me?". These thoughts haunt me everyday.
We see the changes happening, you don't laugh anymore, not like you use to. Its the addicts forced laugh. You're getting more and more impatient with people...and alittle snippy. Your becoming numb. The sister I know is starting to disappear. Its getting uncomfortable to be around you. You are not the same, even though you think you are. Its getting harder to talk to you, you're moving into your own little world. I know you don't see this happening, you don't beleive it. How do I make you see it? What do I do? I cannot handle loosing a sister. I can't loose either of my sisters, but I worry about you even more. You've never really been one to stop and take a long hard look at yourself. You're always to busy helping or fixing everyone else.
Your sisters love you and worry so much about you, that if it were possible to trade places, we'd take your addiction away from you and onto ourselves to save you.
We are here for you and will do whatever we have to, to help you get clean. Please stop now. We can't loose you. Please. We'll help you.
With love and a pleading heart,
Magi
My name is Magi. I am oldest of three sisters, all of us are pain pill addicts. Myself and the youngest sister, Mary, are on the road to recovery. The middle sister, Dee, is still very actively useing and in extreme denial. I am going to speak to you as if you were my sister, because you very well could be.
To my sister,
I have so much fear for what IS happening and may happen to you, that it consumes my thoughts on a daily basis. I know you don't see, feel or beleive the changes that are slowly takeing over you, but I have been there, I recognize them. I didn't see them in myself either until I stopped. I'm so afraid you will never admit that the pills are takeing over and takeing you further away from us. I know you think you have it under control and that you have a high tolerance, when in all actuality, you have lost all control. Why can't you see this? We have warned you of every step of this addiction thing. You have seen first hand what it did to us and the struggle we've gone thru, time and time again, to break free of this. But you continue to put your hand up to us in dismissal, like we're exaggerating it all and like we're anti-drug zealots. Don't you understand, we're trying to pass on our knowledge to you, so that you won't need to go thru what we have.
I'm so afraid you will never stop the pills. That you're gonna keep increasing the amount you take, until one day, you don't wake up. What are we gonna do then? How will our family go on without you? How can we wake up every day knowing your not there anymore? That maybe I could have done something more? Said something that would have made a difference? Why couldn't I have stopped you? What will happen when I go to call you and remember that your not there? How will there ever be a holiday again? How will I ever be able to look your son in the face? What do I say to him when he crys " Why didn't you make her stop?, "You knew, you should have done something" My Mom is dead because you did nothing". He won't understand when I tell him, addicts have to want to stop and that I tried to warn you. What do I tell him when he asks " Why didn't she love me enough to quit?", "Why did she love the pills more than me?". These thoughts haunt me everyday.
We see the changes happening, you don't laugh anymore, not like you use to. Its the addicts forced laugh. You're getting more and more impatient with people...and alittle snippy. Your becoming numb. The sister I know is starting to disappear. Its getting uncomfortable to be around you. You are not the same, even though you think you are. Its getting harder to talk to you, you're moving into your own little world. I know you don't see this happening, you don't beleive it. How do I make you see it? What do I do? I cannot handle loosing a sister. I can't loose either of my sisters, but I worry about you even more. You've never really been one to stop and take a long hard look at yourself. You're always to busy helping or fixing everyone else.
Your sisters love you and worry so much about you, that if it were possible to trade places, we'd take your addiction away from you and onto ourselves to save you.
We are here for you and will do whatever we have to, to help you get clean. Please stop now. We can't loose you. Please. We'll help you.
With love and a pleading heart,
Magi
Please come and read on the forum. I hope it helps you to see where your life is headed. Only you can decide whether you have a problem or not, but if you think you may...we'd love to support you in getting clean. You are lucky to have a friend who cares about you and is concerned about what is going on in your life. Addiction steals the soul right out of your body...and you don't even know it until it is too late....and all your left w/ is an empty shell of a person. You become numb and hollow to life an dall tha tis going on around you.Take an honest look at your life and save yourself before it is too late...because addiction has no boundries!! I hope all these letters bring you back to reality!!!
Good luck!!
Good luck!!
WOW! to both of you, and thank you.
Please all, write your letter. What would you say to her?
Thank you,
Friend999
Please all, write your letter. What would you say to her?
Thank you,
Friend999
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