Aa
Wow...6 days...
Hey Everybody.
I wanted to thank everybody for helping me get this far. Today is my siixth day without any meth or pills! I am ammazed. I never even thought that I would make it to day two. But I did. I would like to give special thans to bmac, pixi, and chezz. Don't forget hippy either. Theire encouragement and success stories (49 days bill!) kept me going. No matter what, I wont ever forget you guys. You saved my life.
Festertool
I wanted to thank everybody for helping me get this far. Today is my siixth day without any meth or pills! I am ammazed. I never even thought that I would make it to day two. But I did. I would like to give special thans to bmac, pixi, and chezz. Don't forget hippy either. Theire encouragement and success stories (49 days bill!) kept me going. No matter what, I wont ever forget you guys. You saved my life.
Festertool
Suzie: Florida? Well, I do like Florida much better better than Miami (I hope the 'Canes go down on Saturday!). But no, I'm several states north of Florida
Strider: The $500 will be much better spent if you call your "friend" and tell him "you can sell those twice - I won't be needing them." That would be a $500 investment in yourself. If you get them for any reason, you'll be lucky if you even dump most of them -- hell, you'll be lucky if you dump ANY of them. Either way, you won't have your $500. But if you start (even with some sort of good intention or different plan "this time") you will have wasted all your time in South America. Moreover, some time from now (1 month, 3, 6?) you'll be trying this again and be wondering "oh my God, how did I do this *again*? I made it out of the rabbit hole, why did I dive back in?? You've made through the physically tough part -- don't let the pain and determination of the past 10 day be for naught.
'Night all
Strider: The $500 will be much better spent if you call your "friend" and tell him "you can sell those twice - I won't be needing them." That would be a $500 investment in yourself. If you get them for any reason, you'll be lucky if you even dump most of them -- hell, you'll be lucky if you dump ANY of them. Either way, you won't have your $500. But if you start (even with some sort of good intention or different plan "this time") you will have wasted all your time in South America. Moreover, some time from now (1 month, 3, 6?) you'll be trying this again and be wondering "oh my God, how did I do this *again*? I made it out of the rabbit hole, why did I dive back in?? You've made through the physically tough part -- don't let the pain and determination of the past 10 day be for naught.
'Night all
Strider,
Sounds like you already know the answer.
The world isn't going to stop until you are better. The deadlines aren't going to cease. The job is going to be there. Tough time or not.
The decision you have before you is "To use or not to use".
Picking them up is not an option in my book.
If you are serious about quitting, you will tell him you have quit and to give them to someone else, or make twice the money.
You have made deadlines, business decision, ect. without the pills before. So it doesn't matter if you have a take-over or meetings to the gill. That doesn't change a thing. You did it before without the meds, you can do it again.
Why would you pick them up, only to flush them on your own. In my humble opinion, it is because you still want them. You are still contemplating whether you can "just take a few" and not get back in the hole.
You already know if you pick them up, you will pop 20 and then go "f@#$ I have already messed up, I might as well finish these, since they are paid for of course. THEN I will stop"
You have all the answers already. You know your destiny if you pick them up. Money has nothing to do with it if you have already lost "7 figures".
The choice is yours. Do you want to take 500 or not? If no, then tell your dealer to do whatever the f#WW he wants with them.
The choice is yours. You know better. You wouldn't be asking/stating this unless you were on the edge.
I know its a harsh post. I just know the feeling you are going through. The temptation and rationalisation your addiction is playing on you.
I hope you make the right choice for YOU.
Chezz
Sounds like you already know the answer.
The world isn't going to stop until you are better. The deadlines aren't going to cease. The job is going to be there. Tough time or not.
The decision you have before you is "To use or not to use".
Picking them up is not an option in my book.
If you are serious about quitting, you will tell him you have quit and to give them to someone else, or make twice the money.
You have made deadlines, business decision, ect. without the pills before. So it doesn't matter if you have a take-over or meetings to the gill. That doesn't change a thing. You did it before without the meds, you can do it again.
Why would you pick them up, only to flush them on your own. In my humble opinion, it is because you still want them. You are still contemplating whether you can "just take a few" and not get back in the hole.
You already know if you pick them up, you will pop 20 and then go "f@#$ I have already messed up, I might as well finish these, since they are paid for of course. THEN I will stop"
You have all the answers already. You know your destiny if you pick them up. Money has nothing to do with it if you have already lost "7 figures".
The choice is yours. Do you want to take 500 or not? If no, then tell your dealer to do whatever the f#WW he wants with them.
The choice is yours. You know better. You wouldn't be asking/stating this unless you were on the edge.
I know its a harsh post. I just know the feeling you are going through. The temptation and rationalisation your addiction is playing on you.
I hope you make the right choice for YOU.
Chezz
The big Cold Turkey.
I don't like dragging **** out. But I don't have the w/d's like most people.
My doc said that it is because the meds are "used up" by the pain. Either way I don't know.
I have had them in the past, I just didn't know that is what they were.
Good luck though. You can do it either way.
Chezz
PS I know why you are REALLY quiting. You heard about the "sexual side effects". Huh ;0
I don't like dragging **** out. But I don't have the w/d's like most people.
My doc said that it is because the meds are "used up" by the pain. Either way I don't know.
I have had them in the past, I just didn't know that is what they were.
Good luck though. You can do it either way.
Chezz
PS I know why you are REALLY quiting. You heard about the "sexual side effects". Huh ;0
I know this is way off topic. But Its slow and I want to find some music.
Does anybody know of a good site that has FREE mp3's without having to do a bunch of **** to get them.
I have about 20gigs already. I am just trying to find more.
I am on DSL.
Plus it slooowwwwww.
Thanks,
Chezz
Does anybody know of a good site that has FREE mp3's without having to do a bunch of **** to get them.
I have about 20gigs already. I am just trying to find more.
I am on DSL.
Plus it slooowwwwww.
Thanks,
Chezz
The ONLY way I was able to taper was to give my supply to my brother, who I could trust to a) keep them (w/o using them himself); and b) give them back to me daily only as agreed.
That worked well, but EVERY other time I tried to taper on my own, I'd end up saying "well, I might as well not waste these" and take several days worth one evening with the idea that I'd be better served with one evening of fun then just bite the bullet in the morning. Of course, that NEVER seemed like such a good idea in the morning, so I'd find some more. The idea was that I'd use them to really taper and then I'd be done. But, when I had them I'd figure "well, I don't need ALL of these to taper. I'll have fun with X and then use the rest to taper off." And when those were used up without a taper . . . .
The only thing that went wrong with the brother-assisted taper is that on the evening of day 6 at 100% clean I found myself saying "OK" when a "friend" called. The one good thing about that fall from grace was that by the next morning it was very clear to me that I felt nowhere near as good "on" as I did compared to 6 days free after a 10 day taper.
On the other hand, I've done CT too and I have to say that although it sucks, it's not as bad as it seems it will be when you're drawing close to it. The worst part is getting beyond the mental block that you can't do it. For me, WD was like the flu. The worst for me was the aches and RLS, but "the Recipe" (which I never had during CT) apparently helps a great deal with that.
Good luck.
CATUF
That worked well, but EVERY other time I tried to taper on my own, I'd end up saying "well, I might as well not waste these" and take several days worth one evening with the idea that I'd be better served with one evening of fun then just bite the bullet in the morning. Of course, that NEVER seemed like such a good idea in the morning, so I'd find some more. The idea was that I'd use them to really taper and then I'd be done. But, when I had them I'd figure "well, I don't need ALL of these to taper. I'll have fun with X and then use the rest to taper off." And when those were used up without a taper . . . .
The only thing that went wrong with the brother-assisted taper is that on the evening of day 6 at 100% clean I found myself saying "OK" when a "friend" called. The one good thing about that fall from grace was that by the next morning it was very clear to me that I felt nowhere near as good "on" as I did compared to 6 days free after a 10 day taper.
On the other hand, I've done CT too and I have to say that although it sucks, it's not as bad as it seems it will be when you're drawing close to it. The worst part is getting beyond the mental block that you can't do it. For me, WD was like the flu. The worst for me was the aches and RLS, but "the Recipe" (which I never had during CT) apparently helps a great deal with that.
Good luck.
CATUF
10 days CT from hydro in deep south america. i read the posts and wish i had some access to something for sleep, but unfortunately i have to ad lib...hot baths only...no Thomas stuff available in this country. i had decided to see a doctor and tell him the truth and beg for valium or something for a few days to sllep, but my wife insisted on going with me to ther doctor, and i had to "convert" my malaise into "irritable colon"...almost makes you laugh. so the doctor told me no milk or sweets or sodas or yogurt for a week, and only gave me a very light sedative to sllep, actually for indigestion. i felt SOOOOOO stupid in that office, with my poor wife wondering what had happened to her super husband who was able to work/workout/play 18 hours a day, and now was a wreck.
anyway day 10 is not bad. i do not crave, but i am weak, very weak, and i cannot work out yet, only walk a few blocks. the worst part is that i often in the day picture that bottle of vicodin, and i wonder what will happen when i return to the states in 3 weeks. my "source" has 500 of the poisons ready for me, already paid for. i am tormented wondering if i should pick them up and flush them, or tell the person to "kkep them" (no money back on this)...or do I PICK THEM UP AND KEEP THEM just in case. obviously the last choice is impossible, but soooooo tempting.
the hardest part for me is the mental feeling of "need". i have many difficult business challenges ahead. i come from a high power corporate world, and now am in business for myself, on the (legal) fringes of that world. i look back to a few bad decisions i made and i mull over them everyday, blaming the pills, better said my weakness. the pills made me feel invincible, but nobody is invincible. i made some very costly mistakes as a result, to the tune of 7 figures. now i have new challenges, and even with the past mistakes i am not so sure that i can do it w/o the pills. it is soooo stupid, because i did not start taking pills until i was at the "top", running things just fine, and the pills caved me in. nevertheless, i still feel like i need them.
anyway, i hope someone can relate...i am sure of it.
anyway day 10 is not bad. i do not crave, but i am weak, very weak, and i cannot work out yet, only walk a few blocks. the worst part is that i often in the day picture that bottle of vicodin, and i wonder what will happen when i return to the states in 3 weeks. my "source" has 500 of the poisons ready for me, already paid for. i am tormented wondering if i should pick them up and flush them, or tell the person to "kkep them" (no money back on this)...or do I PICK THEM UP AND KEEP THEM just in case. obviously the last choice is impossible, but soooooo tempting.
the hardest part for me is the mental feeling of "need". i have many difficult business challenges ahead. i come from a high power corporate world, and now am in business for myself, on the (legal) fringes of that world. i look back to a few bad decisions i made and i mull over them everyday, blaming the pills, better said my weakness. the pills made me feel invincible, but nobody is invincible. i made some very costly mistakes as a result, to the tune of 7 figures. now i have new challenges, and even with the past mistakes i am not so sure that i can do it w/o the pills. it is soooo stupid, because i did not start taking pills until i was at the "top", running things just fine, and the pills caved me in. nevertheless, i still feel like i need them.
anyway, i hope someone can relate...i am sure of it.
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