Alcoholic, Living with an Community
Clearing the mind
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This patient support community is for loved ones of people who drink and are trying to quit for discussions relating to abuse, behavioral issues, caring for yourself, counseling, divorce and separation, enabling, guilt, and when to get medical help.

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Clearing the mind

Tonight I brought up my husband's drinking again with him. At first he was ok with this but didn't seem to want to talk about it. Lately I haven't been bringing it up, becuase things have been so wonderful. But tonight I became concerned becuase I realized that he is drinking ten beers a night. I know that he can stop if he just tried, but still I am concerned I think he needs to slow down.

So see I brought it up with him. And he didn't want to talk. I tried again later and this upset him. He said it was either drinking or smoking like I had to choose the lesser of the two evils. He also acted like I wanted him to just stop completely but all I want is for him to slow down. I love him and feel I wouldn't be a good wife if not concerned. When he had calmed from being angry he said that he just doesn't care if he is around for long. That made me cry I want him to want to live. As it got later he finally said dont worry one day I will quit. But by this time he was on his 6th or 7th beer. I wouldn't be concerned but he seems so dependent on the beer to help him through the night.

I know one day he will quit but for now I am frustrated. The things he said aren't with me in mind. Not with his own health in mind. The Lord has us both. I just got to start truly praying every night and day. A praying wife can accomplish miracles. This wife loves her husband. He is a good man who tries harder every day to prove his love, all he has left to work on is his dependencies.

Thanks to anyone who responds with helpful supportive words. Also if anyone knows any scripture I can use in my daily prayer I would be grateful. May God bless you all,
Kimberly
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Avatar_m_tn
I have the disease of alcoholism. It's in remission because I stopped completely and I turn my addiction over to a power greater than myself, whom I choose to call God. And I go to AA, where I learned to do that.

I once tried to cut down on my drinks when I felt I was drinking too much. It's impossible. If I take just one drink, all bets are off. The alcohol goes to my head and that one drink leads to another, and another. There is no guarantee what I will do. Because of my disease I'll go into a blackout, get behind the wheel...wake up the next day and not remember what I did or where I went. And nobody could ever talk me into quitting alcohol. What got me to quit was the alcohol itself. The consequences of my drinking got so bad that I HAD to quit. That.s when I willingly called someone and went to my first AA meeting with him.  As we were going to the meeting the person told me that God is now working in my life. He was right. All of us recovering alcoholics have finally seen the light, but sadly for some of us we see it way late and we suffer deep bottoms, hurting our loved ones, before we do something about it and ask for help.

For you, I suggest finding a local Al-anon meeting. It's a 12-step fellowship for folks effected by the drinking of a loved-one. You need to get your own life back rather than focusing on what your husband is doing. Go to the meeting, listen and learn. You'll feel better. And above all relax, God's in charge.
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Avatar_f_tn
Thanks for the post. A few people have already given me the advice about the meetings. Right now I am working two jobs and don't drive. Therefore I would struggle to make it to the meetings. But at the same time I have checked out the web pages.

I also feel I have my life for the most part. My husband tries his hardest to be a good man to me. He just struggles with his dependencies. I mainly posted this post to clear my mind. I know I can't force my husband to quit or bring him to realize why he should. That is between him and God. I just still feel once and a while I have to bring up that he should stop the drinking or at least slow down. Even if he doesn't hear me out. I know God will open his heart one day. Thanks again and may The Lord bless you,
Kimberly
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