This patient support community is for loved ones of people who drink and are trying to quit for discussions relating to abuse, behavioral issues, caring for yourself, counseling, divorce and separation, enabling, guilt, and when to get medical help.
I was with a man for about 4 years, I knew at the beginning that he drank alot but I just though it was somthing that he could stop. Months went by and still no change, he was always drinking. A while ago he done some things that I new if he was in his right mind that he wouldnt of done it but because of it we are no longer together. But all of a sudden I am starting to feel bad for his mistakes because I know thats not who he is. I am wondering if I should some how forgive him and then try and help him with his drinking problem so this stuff dont happen again or should I leave him on his own.
Why would you feel bad for somebody else's mistakes? I understand what you're saying, but ask yourself does this make sense? Are you responsible for other people's actions? Are you responsible for his actions?
No. The only person in the world responsible for his actions is HIM.
If you want to help him, tell him you're concerned about his drinking. But unless you like years of heartache and broken promises, don't try to "fix" it for him. He's the only person in the world capable of fixing it.
I agree! He has to be held accountable for his own actions. The best thing you can do for him is tell him your concerns about his drinking and let him figure it out. You can't help him if he doesn't want to help himself. You've been with him for a long time, so I feel your pain and wish you the best.
hello. whatever course of action is taken, remember that you can't get anyone else sober until they are ready, but you can take steps to prevent yourself from becoming a victim of another's addiction. i used to make promises, swear on all that i consider sacred, and could convince anyone that i wanted help---and was willing to go to any length to get it. but unfortunately this is a disease that tells me i don't have one, and until i'm willing to go to any lengths to recover, i will go to any lengths to protect it. this is the baffling nature of alcoholism. if you haven't already, give al-anon a try. there you will find others who have been where you are that can help you to get through this, whatever happens. take care, gm
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