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alcaholic mum
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This patient support community is for loved ones of people who drink and are trying to quit for discussions relating to abuse, behavioral issues, caring for yourself, counseling, divorce and separation, enabling, guilt, and when to get medical help.

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alcaholic mum

Hi.my mother is an alcaholic, shes broken both legs n her arm over the past due to drink. She suffers from anxiety and is mediction (medication) that shes been in for over 30 years the docter only gives her her medication (oxazipan) weekly due t her taking more than she should she drinks super strenth lager on top of her tablets t the point were she just passes out. She lives alone and cannot look after herself eg personal hygiene ect. She lies constantly. The amount of times iv had t pick her up off the floor due to her falling thro drink. I dont know what t do about her anymore iv been to aa with her but she doesnt seem to listen. Her partner died due to drink and she was with him when he died, but even that hasnt been a wake up call!. Any help or advice would be appriciated. Thanks
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hello, you sound like me 7 years ago. my mom died at the age of 61 due to: first her liver giving out then the rest of the organs fallowed.Sorry to say but she died never even admitting she had a problem with alcohol. she to fell many times and broke her leg, fell through the glass shower door, just would black out and fall, all the time. i tried everything i could think of. intervention, getting mad, sad, everything and anything. but it did not work. and nothing will work till they admit they have a problem. they have to want help.Sorry to say but the only thing i could do was watch her kill herself. eventually her liver released a chemical that goes to their brain and makes them completely crazy and totally out of it. i then became the person who could make the judgement call on what health care she needed. but by then it was to late. she died one month later. i know none of this is good news or gives you an answer on what to do but the truth is there is nothing you can do .Except to go see a lawyer and see what your options are. if you can get a judge to declare her incompetent and you then have the power to at least get her somewhere where she wont be alone all the time so you don't constantly worry about her falling and no one to help her. sorry i cant help more, but im here if you do need support or ask any questions anytime.      
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I'm so sorry that your mom's alcoholism is such a grave concern to you. The worry is so debilitating to you, i know. It's true that many alcoholics choose their habit over a clean life style, she may be just waiting to be reunited with her partner. While that is so difficult for an adult child to understand fully, it is possible to accept that she simply is tired, and wants to move on.  Many addicts waste their life in this manner, and there's no rhyme or reason for it, to a healthy person. It is just something we have to accept.

Have you had an intervention? Have you told her how you feel about her, that you love her so much and you NEED her to get clean and sober? How old is she, sweetie? If a person is at the end of their natural life, then there may not be a draw to change. In order for an addict to get clean and sober they must do a lot of soul searching, and they spend a great deal of emotion on working the steps, and many times they need the help of a program coordinator, an addictions therapist, or counselor. Making amends is one of the many things an addict must do, and if they are past the time in their lives when they feel that they can make up for lost time, they often choose not to open that can of worms. It sounds like, if you've already tried the intervention route, that it may just be too much to ask for your mom to change, and that is where the serenity prayer comes in , for you. God, grant me the Serenity to Accept the things I cannot Change, the Courage to Change the things I can and the Wisdom to Know the Difference. Is there anyway you can get her into an old folks home, where she can be looked after? How old is your mom?

I'm glad that you posted, and i hope that you find some comfort here on Medhelp. You are not alone with your thoughts, the members here want to support you honey.
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