should I leave

i love my partner and it  willbreak my heart to leave him, I have known him for almost 20 years , been together with him for almost 7 years

We both work in the hospitality industry, I have always known he liked a drink, we both do when we got together after failed relationships we had a lot in commen and always had a laugh, during our time together he lost his mum & dad , (his dad died in his arms) he cant come to terms with the fact that he is a part time dad to his 2 sons, but accepts that his previous relationship had to end,

He got so ill he had to be in hospital as his liver almost failed, he recovered and for the first six months he did well , only drinking non alcohol beer & wine, but slowly and surely he has slipped back into old ways, on his days off I come home and he is drunk, he goes to work and if he finshes before the pub closes he comes home drunk.

I am 50 years old and dont know if i want to give the last years of my life to someone who doesnt care, he has even started to let his sons see him drunk

[Nighthawk61]

I'm an alcoholic as well, and I have to say that I would certainly have relapsed on fake beer and wine too. Quitting drinking is about 1% of what an addict has to do to stay clean and sober. If he didn't have any aftercare, AA, addictions therapist, medhelp addiction site, sponsor, then he did really well for himself getting the 6 months sober that he did get. I think that you do need to give your partner an ultimatum to get him to take his responsibility to himself , you and kids, seriously. He'll thank you for it, or he'll hate you for it, but unless you can handle things the way they are , you don't have much choice. Speaking of handling things, have you been to an Alanon meeting for support. This group may help you to make a plan for yourself, either way. I think that you need support, and he needs to see you getting support. Also, has there been any AA? I would suggest you leave a big book on the coffee table and let him know there's a new sheriff in town. Leave your own book from Alanon around for him to read as well. Let him look at all the information, and if he doesn't know it yet, let him know about Medhelp and the wonderful support system for recovering alcoholics. Since he's been sober before for a long period, he should at least be interested in hearing about something new in the fight against his disease, right? Don't be shy about the programs, let him know that you're not in denial, and you are looking for change. And please, let us know how you are. My husband and I have about 14 years now , clean and sober. We did our time in the program, both of us. It takes whatever it takes, but simply getting clean, for the first year at least, has everything to do with aftercare. Best of luck to you. I'm sure here if you need a friend. LIz

[Nighthawk61]

Oh, I just tried to send you a note, and a message to say hello. Just a little bit of a welcoming committee, but you've got it on your settings that you're not accepting notes, and maybe not messages. I don't know if this was your intention, so i thought I would let you know. Take Care Terrimay!!