Alcoholism Community
need some advice
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This community is for questions and support for people with, or for loved ones of people who drink and are trying to quit. The forum covers topics ranging from Health Issues, How to Quit, Reasons to Quit, Relapse Prevention, Friend and Family Support.

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need some advice

My father has been an alcoholic for as long as I can remember. He is 52 and has had a problem with alcohol since he was at least 19. My parents got a divorce when I was 13 due to my father had an affair. After the divorce, I saw a major change in my father. He began drinking more frequently and became very violent when he drank. He likes to drink the hard liquor, not beer. He drinks to the point that he is beligerent and can hardly walk, however he always seems to drive home from the bar without getting caught. He has become very skinny and his neck and shoulders are extremely red. He still denies that he is an alcoholic. I always hear the same things "I don't drink that much", "I am not drunk", etc...I feel like I am going to loose my father to alcohol and I don't know what to do. It's hard to help someone that doesn't think they have a problem. Any advice would be greatly appreciated!
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Hi Barb,

Sorry to hear about you father. Sadly there is nothing either of us can do if he is in denial like you say. You can tell him how worried you are, tell him how much you love him and you don't want to lose him; but nobody but him can make the decision to quit. I made that decision to quit back in 1982. But I had a relapse 4 years ago and went out for 3 years.  I've been back for almost a year sober. But it's all my doing. I made the decision to quit both times. I go to AA. I find my own thinking won't fix my own thinking. I had to seek help. Alcoholism is a cunning and powerful disease. He needs to seek help, but on his own. It must be his idea to quit.

Consequences also cause people to quit. The Alcohol itself becomes the key to recovery. I see many people in AA sent by the courts. Sooner or later he will get caught drunk behind the wheel. Lets hope it's not an accident with another driver. Meanwhile, you'll also find another forum called "living with an alcoholic". You'll also get lots of support there. Alanon is another support group that will help u cope. Its face to face with others in the same situation as you are. I wish you the best Barb.
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