Bipolar Relationships

[SilentRage]

This might be a stupid question. But for those who have bipolar (like me) how are you able to have relationships. Me I have never been in one or in love, Just lust when those manic days hit and this cause me to try for a relationship for all the wrong reasons. So how are you able to do it.

[Csandnugget]

it's hard to come to terms with something that I mistook for a quirky and moody personality.
I have always been very energetic, and used to blame my lows on boredom.
The energy became less and it came in bouts as time went by.

Last year I quit drinking as it was only causing trouble in my life. It was then that I realised, I'm still feeling very bad, and I'm not hung over.
I actually felt depressed, tired, drained and physically ill.
felt so bad, I thought I had a disease like cancer.

This concerned me as I always viewed myself as an energetic person.
After numerous visits to my GP and tests, etc, the doctor mentioned that I may have to start medication for anxiety.
I saw a psychiatrist, who diagnosed me with BP.
I must say, my quality of life and my relationships have vastly improved.
Still have that feeling of 'what's it all for', but we are still tweaking the meds.
It was really strange for me to realise that all my past behaviours, linked up to BP.
I wish I was diagnosed earlier.
It would have saved a lot of friendships, and embarassment.
I am with a wonderful man, he is understanding, I just feel it is so unfair to him, that he's married to me having BP, I feel bad that I didn't figure it out before we got married so that he could have made a more informed decision

[niluy]

I am 23 and was diagnosed a few years ago. I absolutely understand the fear of telling someone you like that you have Bipolar Disorder, to be honest before I was diagnosed I think knowing that some guy I liked had Bipolar Disorder would influence my decision about being in a relationship with someone.

I kind of liked this one guy last year and over the summer I started acting "funny"; sending overemotional emails that weren't really reflective of how I thought/felt. I have an awesome family and they quickly noticed I wasn't acting myself; I was in hospital and my medication was changed (which was fantastic!). Probably too soon afterwards, I told him about the diagnosis and things quickly dissolved. I think if I were just acting like myself things would have played out very differently.

When I was first diagnosed I thought that this was a death sentence to a life of singledom but I find my strength in God. Honestly, 1 Peter 2:7 is a verse that came to mind the other night "give all your cares to Him because he cares for you". I want to be in a healthy relationship one day and I trust God with my life. I saw a counsellor a couple of years ago as well and she said that as soon as I was seriously dating someone that I could just bring him in and she could explain a little bit about the disorder and how to deal with it. I have a fantastic doctor and really good friends and family so I think whomever I end up with will have support to know if I am acting weird or off.  

[Xila31]

I think the thing about relationships is if you try to force yourself to find someone you never will. You just have to live your life and let nature take it's course. The right person comes along when you are not looking for them. It is sort of like boiling water. If you stand there and stare at the pot, it never seems to happen.

[paranoid_cataclysm]

Thanks for the encouragement, I knew that was true with what you said, it's just going to take a while.

[starbunny]

Well, I am bipolar and my partner has schizophrenia which severely affects his social functioning, and against the odds we are making the relationship work. He shares many of the problems you experience, but despite this has he helped me more than he will ever know. So don't write a relationship off, you just need someone who understands you and accepts you for who you are, and there is someone out there just like that, so don't give up!!

[paranoid_cataclysm]

It's also hard even for "normal" people to form an everlasting relationship that lasts as a forever marriage because it's like only 0.01% of the people out there will work that way for you and everyone else.  Just look at how many divorces there are these days now that human rights have advanced since the past.