Bipolar Relationships

[SilentRage]

This might be a stupid question. But for those who have bipolar (like me) how are you able to have relationships. Me I have never been in one or in love, Just lust when those manic days hit and this cause me to try for a relationship for all the wrong reasons. So how are you able to do it.

[bp13]

Hi!
I Remember when I was Diagnosed with Bipolar and wanted to know as much as possible about it and almost tried to see if perhaps they had the diagnosis wrong.
What really annoyed me was a site like this certainly was not accessible and I came across some site (can't remember the name) but wanted money for the course and it claimed to know how to help people who had the condition or cared for someone with.. Stupid me prov my email address so for ages I continued to receive emails hassling me to buy this coarse that they could download for me and send it by email....
Now to me I felt why should I pay for something that claims to help me when one of the conditions of bipolar is spending money and spiraling into sprees...
I also wondered how could someone prey on the vulnerable (which I was) and if they knew how to help why not just do that? Let me make my own mind up to work out if the help was any good.. I could go on and on but I won't.

Anyway I know for me I enjoy reading other peoples ways of coping and what they go through as this helps me to understand this more and more..

I am really sorry to hear that your Father in law is going through this cancer, I know if this was happening to me I would not know how to cope....
Take care
bp13 xxx

[Phtartist]

Some people use us to make themselves guilt free.

When someone with me is a completely frustrating person and I have a problem with them, I've had them cop an attitude with me and tell me its not them, its me having a bad day.  I'm told my thinking is off.  

I am intelligent enough to step back, think it through, maybe even discuss the altercation with another neutral party.  I've done this enough to know that I have not lost my mind, literally.  I'm just being used as a scape goat for other people's short comings.

My best defense is no defense.

  I tell people if they need to feel better by making me seem like my mind isn't working correctly, they need to look at themselves..

The original issues are not important.  People will always try to disarm us with verbal attacks at our  abilities.  People are weak, they need someone weaker to make them feel stronger.

Think like this next time people are around you acting as if you are the fly on the wall.

[Kimidawn]

Facing childhood sexual abuse is hard.  I have recently (after being nagged by husband and friends) started the journey of addressing the extreme sexual, physical and mental abuse i dealt with as a child.  It is so dang scary but I am doing it.

Also, I totally agree with what you said to Monkeyc when you said: "Here in the U.S. once you are sick, even when your better, the cloud always hangs over you.  A simple thing like someone actually does **** you off, is interpreted as its not them, its you losing it again.  Your screwed for life.  You're even treated as if your intelligence has lessened. I'm freakin depressed people, not stupid! "

I am going through that right now, it's like others around me won't allow me to get better and just have normal bad days or just feel angry like a normal person does once in a while!

[Phtartist]

Very Helpful, and appreciated.  

It needed to be the length it was, it was not too long.
I have to look up IMHO stress management. Thanks also for that info.

Here in the U.S. once you are sick, even when your better, the cloud always hangs over you.  A simple thing like someone actually does **** you off, is interpreted as its not them, its you losing it again.  Your screwed for life.  You're even treated as if your intelligence has lessened. I'm freakin depressed people, not stupid!  Thank God my Dr.s regard me as an intelligent woman and respect my word and information, verbatim.

I'm off to look up IMHO, thanks again Monkeyc

[kgill78]

I have been with my husband for 10 years now and we have 3 kids.  I only have episodes when big events happen in my life.  He understands and is obviously the more stable one, which is what I need.  I am mainly normal with a little mania which he accepts and then a few crashes here and there.  It took a while for him to understand what was going on with me.  He kept wondering why I wasn't like any one else for a few years.  And just recently when I got back on meds and the therapist told him point blank that I will always be this way and always have to be on meds, did he really accept that I am bipolar.  

[monkeyc]

Stress is a contributor to me, its what brought my BP back to the surface - My Psych likens it to a bottle, it can only hold so much liquid before it over flows : often people live with an amount of stress in their lives which is fine but add in some more stressors and things cascade.

I ran naturally hypomanic so I was always on a bit of a manic edge, the problem is I work in a high stress environment and job and that means Iam surrounded by long work hours and stressful situations which I really enjoy.  Until things build up.  In my case it was massive workload, a major project, travel and a wife with a father who was diagnosed with terminal cancer while i was a long way away - those things built up and bam im full tilt manic.

IMHO Stress management is very very very important for BP sufferers - its the number one coping skill to learn because its key to coping with things before they get to the stage where you need drugs - I have a psychologist who drew me a diagram sort of like this looking at how most patients she saw coped with stress and loads :

*Normal ability to cope
*
*
* Impaired ability to cope but can cope within normal frameworks
*
*
* Alcohol
*
*
* Drugs (diazepam etc)
*
*
* Hospitalisation
*
*
* Suicide.

Thats very simple but what she was saying is its important to catch it at the coping within framework stage and that means catch the stress levels when they can be dealt with by your own learned skills - many BP's have things they do for releasing tension or things they can do : it might be taking a walk or listening to a song (i like comfortably numb for that) or it might be any number of things : for a suprising number apparently masturbation can be very effective (especially where hypersexuality is a symptom) but whatever the key is changing the things that are going on by modifiying the behaviour before you need to move onto other things - Alcohol tends to be first and its bad for BP's due to the propensity to addiction not to mention its a depressant - And if you are on Lithium like I am its something to be very carefully watched.

Diazepam is actually not a bad drug, its not as addictive as the medical community like to make out but it is habit forming and its a crutch - I take benzo's as needed fo anxiety and temaz for sleep when needed - the best thing is to get to the point whre you can learn coping skills without them.  I trust the hospitalisation and other option are self explanatory but I will say that at least in Australia there's nothing wrong with admitting you cant cope and need a break for a while but then again we have a free or mostly free healthcare system.

Stress is part of BP and I believe and have seen things over the years in my life and others than if you are BP and undiagnosed stress in high enough doses can bring i to the fore.

Sorry for the long post.