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Anxiety & fear regarding potential HSV-1 infection
Hi,
I've posted questions to Dr. HHH and Terri and have gotten good answers. However my anxiety is getting the better of me again and I wanted to run this by the community as well.
I'm a 32-year old male. Recently had a session with CSW where she gave me unprotected oral and we also kissed using tongue. I'm worried about catching HSV-1. I also found out that the CSW has HSV-1 and gets outbreaks "about once a month" but did not have an obvious sore on the day. I myself was tested negative via IgG test 22 days post exposure.
Timeline:
6 days PE(post encounter): saw a doctor who said my chances to catch anything are low but ordered tests for chlamydia, gonorrhea
7-10 days PE: I start panicking about herpes, inspect my penis rigorously, when it got a little red I applied antiseptic liquid and tons of hydrocortizone. I also try to see inside my urethra for herpes lesions. My urethra starts to tingle and itch. This goes away in few days but is replaced by pain in the pelvic region and low pressure in urine stream. Prostate hurts when touched and also feels like it's constantly irritated, not relaxed.
11 days: see a doctor who thinks I've got UTI (but doesn't order tests), presses my lower stomach, which feels painful. Prescribes 5-day course of trimethroprim (160mg, 2/day).
12-14 PE: UTI & prostatitis type of symptoms start going away and disappear after taking the antibiotics. On evening of day 14 I go to do some outdoor activity with heavy clothing and my groin area is sweating a lot. I did not shower or wash afterwards.
Day 15: I notice two red patches on the tip of my penis (glans). I'm uncircumcized. There are no visible sores, blisters or any fluid coming, no pain, no itch. I was unable to get a swab done at this time. The patches were not raised, seem to be part of the skin rather than on top of it. I applied hydrocortizone 1% on the patches.
Day 16-17: I continue to administer hydrocortizone in the mornings and Bepanthen for the nights. On evening of day 16 patches look like they are recovering, day 17 gone.
No symptoms after this except a mild throat infection on day 23, which went away in less than a week.
The most worrisome symptom is the red patches that appeared on day 15. I can't seem to get past that and my mind keeps going in circles around this. Somehow I've convinced myself that it was herpes, especially because it can cause so different symptoms in different people. I'm afraid that it was a mild outbreak. I was unable to see a doctor but two doctors have told me based on my description it doesn't sound like herpes. They base it on the fact that it went away in 2 days and that it reacted favorably to moisturizer and hydrocortisone. I also realize that there is a lot of other things that could've caused it. I was on trimethroprim at the time. I had almost finished the meds when the rash appeared. I had also masturbated two days prior to relief the tension in my prostate. I did not feel like masturbating so I had to be quite rough. I might've damaged the skin. This combined with the sweating might suggest nothing than damaged skin reacting to sweat.
I have a regular partner and two kids so I think part of this is psychological. I've convinced myself that because of one stupid mistake I deserve to be punished. I have also noticed that quite many men get these symptoms (tingling, prostatitis) after regretting a sexual encounter and feeling extreme anxiety.
Nothing to do now but wait. I was planning to get tested at 12 weeks post exposure but I think I'll take one test at 8 weeks, the waiting is just killing me. And if I get a negative at 8 weeks, it would be encouraging result.
I've not kissed my wife or my kids since the incident. I have moved my toothbrush to the other bathroom. I wash my hands more frequently. Also no sex with wife but I fear how long I can keep this up before she starts to suspect. I just don't want to infect her with anything.
I have already gone through my confession in my head if I end up being positive. I am prepared to live with no sex for the rest of my life. I just don't want to lose my family.
I've posted questions to Dr. HHH and Terri and have gotten good answers. However my anxiety is getting the better of me again and I wanted to run this by the community as well.
I'm a 32-year old male. Recently had a session with CSW where she gave me unprotected oral and we also kissed using tongue. I'm worried about catching HSV-1. I also found out that the CSW has HSV-1 and gets outbreaks "about once a month" but did not have an obvious sore on the day. I myself was tested negative via IgG test 22 days post exposure.
Timeline:
6 days PE(post encounter): saw a doctor who said my chances to catch anything are low but ordered tests for chlamydia, gonorrhea
7-10 days PE: I start panicking about herpes, inspect my penis rigorously, when it got a little red I applied antiseptic liquid and tons of hydrocortizone. I also try to see inside my urethra for herpes lesions. My urethra starts to tingle and itch. This goes away in few days but is replaced by pain in the pelvic region and low pressure in urine stream. Prostate hurts when touched and also feels like it's constantly irritated, not relaxed.
11 days: see a doctor who thinks I've got UTI (but doesn't order tests), presses my lower stomach, which feels painful. Prescribes 5-day course of trimethroprim (160mg, 2/day).
12-14 PE: UTI & prostatitis type of symptoms start going away and disappear after taking the antibiotics. On evening of day 14 I go to do some outdoor activity with heavy clothing and my groin area is sweating a lot. I did not shower or wash afterwards.
Day 15: I notice two red patches on the tip of my penis (glans). I'm uncircumcized. There are no visible sores, blisters or any fluid coming, no pain, no itch. I was unable to get a swab done at this time. The patches were not raised, seem to be part of the skin rather than on top of it. I applied hydrocortizone 1% on the patches.
Day 16-17: I continue to administer hydrocortizone in the mornings and Bepanthen for the nights. On evening of day 16 patches look like they are recovering, day 17 gone.
No symptoms after this except a mild throat infection on day 23, which went away in less than a week.
The most worrisome symptom is the red patches that appeared on day 15. I can't seem to get past that and my mind keeps going in circles around this. Somehow I've convinced myself that it was herpes, especially because it can cause so different symptoms in different people. I'm afraid that it was a mild outbreak. I was unable to see a doctor but two doctors have told me based on my description it doesn't sound like herpes. They base it on the fact that it went away in 2 days and that it reacted favorably to moisturizer and hydrocortisone. I also realize that there is a lot of other things that could've caused it. I was on trimethroprim at the time. I had almost finished the meds when the rash appeared. I had also masturbated two days prior to relief the tension in my prostate. I did not feel like masturbating so I had to be quite rough. I might've damaged the skin. This combined with the sweating might suggest nothing than damaged skin reacting to sweat.
I have a regular partner and two kids so I think part of this is psychological. I've convinced myself that because of one stupid mistake I deserve to be punished. I have also noticed that quite many men get these symptoms (tingling, prostatitis) after regretting a sexual encounter and feeling extreme anxiety.
Nothing to do now but wait. I was planning to get tested at 12 weeks post exposure but I think I'll take one test at 8 weeks, the waiting is just killing me. And if I get a negative at 8 weeks, it would be encouraging result.
I've not kissed my wife or my kids since the incident. I have moved my toothbrush to the other bathroom. I wash my hands more frequently. Also no sex with wife but I fear how long I can keep this up before she starts to suspect. I just don't want to infect her with anything.
I have already gone through my confession in my head if I end up being positive. I am prepared to live with no sex for the rest of my life. I just don't want to lose my family.
Had another scare today. Noticed a teeny tiny blister with a white head on my upper lip border. When I touched it with my nail it popped. Wasn't a pimple as far as I know. I sometimes get pimples on my lip border as well but this one looked different.
I was able to photograph it with my macro equipment before it popped and I was relieved to see that it looked like foliculitis. The blister was on top of an ingrown hair on my upper lip border. Or at least that's what it looks like.
No new blisters have shown up for now and no other symptoms. I'm probably not going to see a doctor about this unless there will be more blisters. And typically herpes blisters are much bigger and in a group. This was so tiny that I had to stretch the skin to even notice.
I was able to photograph it with my macro equipment before it popped and I was relieved to see that it looked like foliculitis. The blister was on top of an ingrown hair on my upper lip border. Or at least that's what it looks like.
No new blisters have shown up for now and no other symptoms. I'm probably not going to see a doctor about this unless there will be more blisters. And typically herpes blisters are much bigger and in a group. This was so tiny that I had to stretch the skin to even notice.
Looks like my guess was correct. After popping the blister and cleaning it, it has now disappeared completely. Not even redness left.
Really scared now. Yesterday developed the same rash on my glands that was there on day 15. In different place now but from my memory it looks similar. No blisters or discharge yet. About to see the doctor in 20 min.
I describe the penis rash more here:
http://www.medhelp.org/posts/Dermatology/What-could-this-skind-condition-on-my-penis-be/show/1784589#post_8210065
I describe the penis rash more here:
http://www.medhelp.org/posts/Dermatology/What-could-this-skind-condition-on-my-penis-be/show/1784589#post_8210065
I think I definitely have HSV-1. Just too many symptoms popping up after my exposure. And now the penile red patch appears again - this is it. I'm preparing myself for the worst outcome.
Back from the doctor. He couldn't say whether it's herpes or not. He said if it is herpes, then it is atypical.
His advice was to do nothing and see how it develops. If it goes away on its own in a few days, then it's most likely not herpes. If it develops into blisters that burst into open sores, then it's herpes.
His advice was to do nothing and see how it develops. If it goes away on its own in a few days, then it's most likely not herpes. If it develops into blisters that burst into open sores, then it's herpes.
When I had the rash I took some pictures. At around 6pm when I noticed the rash it was a red patch of skin with no bumps or ulcers.
In the evening I took a shower and took some more close-up photos of my penis glands. The rash was bumpy.
My penis glands have been covered with small papules or some kind of bumps for as long as I can remember.I have read somewhere that having your glands covered in these kind of bumps is a normal condition in uncircumsized men. They might be caused by veins, for example. The bumps on the rash looked like they are the same bumps but just inflamed a bit. But what was more worrying that after shower, I wiped my penis dry with toilet paper and then proceeded to take the close-up shots.
One these new shots I saw a few very small ulcers. The ulcers were located in a cluster on one isolated area of the penis. All ulcers were located on top of those bumps on the rash. At first I thought I saw small blisters in the photos but I now realize it was my mind playing tricks on me. And also at first I thought the ulcers looked obviously like crates but no I doubt that as well. These ulcers were so small that I could not see them with my bare eyes but they were visible on the extreme close-up shots (taken with a DSLR + macro lens). The ulcers were not visible using a normal camera or bare eyes.
Next time I took pictures was at around 3pm next day, under 24h since noticing the rash. In those pictures the redness had started to subside substantially and there were no ulcers left, the penile skin looked completely normal, aside from the slight redness.
But still it is worrying to have a recurring, bright red rash with ulcers! The first time the rash appeared was day 15 post encounter. I did not take photos at that time but the rash was not painful and went away in 2 days using cortisone.
This second rash that I described was 5 and a half weeks post encounter.
The doctor I saw was useless because he claimed they cannot do a swab without blisters. Now that the rash is gone there is no way to do any swab tests. Only way to know is to wait and take another blood test. 3 weeks post encounter IGG test was negative for HSV-1 and HSV-2.
I am uncircumsized and I know balanitis can affect uncircumsized men. The first time the rash appeared I had been taking trimethroprim for 5 days so it could be a yeast or fungal infection...also both times the rash appeared I did not regularly wash under the foreskin. But the thing is: I've temporarily neglected hygiene down there more time I can remember during my life and never had a rash like this before. And now after a risky exposure suddendly this kind of rash appears...it's just too coincidental to be unrelated.
And also, I've had slight redness on the glands before but it has never been this "angry" red before. This was different than any rash I've ever had down there. And knowing HSV can have different manifestations, it makes me scared.
In the evening I took a shower and took some more close-up photos of my penis glands. The rash was bumpy.
My penis glands have been covered with small papules or some kind of bumps for as long as I can remember.I have read somewhere that having your glands covered in these kind of bumps is a normal condition in uncircumsized men. They might be caused by veins, for example. The bumps on the rash looked like they are the same bumps but just inflamed a bit. But what was more worrying that after shower, I wiped my penis dry with toilet paper and then proceeded to take the close-up shots.
One these new shots I saw a few very small ulcers. The ulcers were located in a cluster on one isolated area of the penis. All ulcers were located on top of those bumps on the rash. At first I thought I saw small blisters in the photos but I now realize it was my mind playing tricks on me. And also at first I thought the ulcers looked obviously like crates but no I doubt that as well. These ulcers were so small that I could not see them with my bare eyes but they were visible on the extreme close-up shots (taken with a DSLR + macro lens). The ulcers were not visible using a normal camera or bare eyes.
Next time I took pictures was at around 3pm next day, under 24h since noticing the rash. In those pictures the redness had started to subside substantially and there were no ulcers left, the penile skin looked completely normal, aside from the slight redness.
But still it is worrying to have a recurring, bright red rash with ulcers! The first time the rash appeared was day 15 post encounter. I did not take photos at that time but the rash was not painful and went away in 2 days using cortisone.
This second rash that I described was 5 and a half weeks post encounter.
The doctor I saw was useless because he claimed they cannot do a swab without blisters. Now that the rash is gone there is no way to do any swab tests. Only way to know is to wait and take another blood test. 3 weeks post encounter IGG test was negative for HSV-1 and HSV-2.
I am uncircumsized and I know balanitis can affect uncircumsized men. The first time the rash appeared I had been taking trimethroprim for 5 days so it could be a yeast or fungal infection...also both times the rash appeared I did not regularly wash under the foreskin. But the thing is: I've temporarily neglected hygiene down there more time I can remember during my life and never had a rash like this before. And now after a risky exposure suddendly this kind of rash appears...it's just too coincidental to be unrelated.
And also, I've had slight redness on the glands before but it has never been this "angry" red before. This was different than any rash I've ever had down there. And knowing HSV can have different manifestations, it makes me scared.
I'll probably take a blood test tomorrow, which would make it a few days short of 7 weeks since exposure.
It'd be great to hear from other users, especially grace, what they think.
Personally I'm afraid it's herpes because:
- first rash appeared 15 days after exposure (fits the 2 to 14 days until symptoms)
- second rash appeared 3 weeks after first (typical to get another OB in a few weeks after the first)
- second rash had ulcers (although so tiny that only visible using macro equipment and might have been caused by me wiping my penis dry with toilet paper)
- symptoms appear out of nowhere, no symptoms in between (although sweating and hygiene might have been part of both rashes)
Points that are against herpes:
- 15 days for first OB is not typical (but possible)
- applied cortisone on the first rash daily, gone in 2 days (cortisone supposed to make herpes worse)
- both rashes only lasted approximately 2 days
It'd be great to hear from other users, especially grace, what they think.
Personally I'm afraid it's herpes because:
- first rash appeared 15 days after exposure (fits the 2 to 14 days until symptoms)
- second rash appeared 3 weeks after first (typical to get another OB in a few weeks after the first)
- second rash had ulcers (although so tiny that only visible using macro equipment and might have been caused by me wiping my penis dry with toilet paper)
- symptoms appear out of nowhere, no symptoms in between (although sweating and hygiene might have been part of both rashes)
Points that are against herpes:
- 15 days for first OB is not typical (but possible)
- applied cortisone on the first rash daily, gone in 2 days (cortisone supposed to make herpes worse)
- both rashes only lasted approximately 2 days
I have been examining myself too much during these (almost) 7 weeks. I just realized that I always wash my hands after going to the toilet but not before.
So it is also possible that these two rashes have appeared due to inspecting my penis with dirty hands
So it is also possible that these two rashes have appeared due to inspecting my penis with dirty hands
Took the blood test today. Timing one day short of 7 weeks since exposure.
Should get results by next Wednesday. I'm afraid of getting positive result for HSV-1 due to my recurring red rash on my penis glans.
I have a question, which I hope someone will have time answering:
If I get a positive back can I assume (with at least some certainty) that my infection is genital only, as I haven't had any symptoms in my face?
My penis definitely was more exposed (maybe for 5 minutes max) than my lips (max 10 kisses, some with tongue).
Should get results by next Wednesday. I'm afraid of getting positive result for HSV-1 due to my recurring red rash on my penis glans.
I have a question, which I hope someone will have time answering:
If I get a positive back can I assume (with at least some certainty) that my infection is genital only, as I haven't had any symptoms in my face?
My penis definitely was more exposed (maybe for 5 minutes max) than my lips (max 10 kisses, some with tongue).
Found a similar story to mine. Unprotected oral, recurring rash, atypical symptoms, everyone saying doesn't sound like herpes - guess what: it was genital HSV-1
http://www.medhelp.org/posts/STDs/Red-spots---rash-on-penis-end/show/1232290
Very similar story to mine, except his rashes lasted much longer than mine.
http://www.medhelp.org/posts/STDs/Red-spots---rash-on-penis-end/show/1232290
Very similar story to mine, except his rashes lasted much longer than mine.
I keep going back and forth in my mind. Sometimes my reasoning says it's gotta be herpes because why would I have these 2 recurring rashes now? I've never had these kind of rashes there before? The second rash had ulcerations, clear indication of herpes. MY pelvic discomfort about one week from encounter could have been my initial outbreak, followed by the mild rash on my penis head one week later.
Sometimes on the other hand, I want to believe Dr. HHH who is almost certain it's not herpes. And one reason for getting these symptoms now could be that I'm fiddling too much with my penis with the constant checking. The second rash started as mildly red but because of my checking and stretching it got redder. I also took a warm shower and afterwards the rash was redder. I read somewhere that a rash always gets redder after a shower. The ulcers could have been caused by me wiping the head of the penis dry with toilet paper. The rash area was soft from the warm shower and susceptible to be damaged.
I have a hard time believing that herpes sores would appear in a few hours time (no ulcers around midnight, ulcers visible at 1:30am in next photos). Also the rash was flat at midnight but bumpy at 1:30am. I think if I'd applied cortisone to the rash like I did before, it probably would have healed more quickly. But I wanted to not make it heal faster so I could show it to a doctor next morning. Unfortunately the doctor was useless and didn't know that you can do a PCR swab without blisters with liquid present.
Looking forward to my 7 week IGG test results and hoping it will be negative.
Sometimes on the other hand, I want to believe Dr. HHH who is almost certain it's not herpes. And one reason for getting these symptoms now could be that I'm fiddling too much with my penis with the constant checking. The second rash started as mildly red but because of my checking and stretching it got redder. I also took a warm shower and afterwards the rash was redder. I read somewhere that a rash always gets redder after a shower. The ulcers could have been caused by me wiping the head of the penis dry with toilet paper. The rash area was soft from the warm shower and susceptible to be damaged.
I have a hard time believing that herpes sores would appear in a few hours time (no ulcers around midnight, ulcers visible at 1:30am in next photos). Also the rash was flat at midnight but bumpy at 1:30am. I think if I'd applied cortisone to the rash like I did before, it probably would have healed more quickly. But I wanted to not make it heal faster so I could show it to a doctor next morning. Unfortunately the doctor was useless and didn't know that you can do a PCR swab without blisters with liquid present.
Looking forward to my 7 week IGG test results and hoping it will be negative.
Did some research and found out that typically the initial outbreak is bilateral (eg. on both sides of the body) and recurrences are typically bilateral.
Well, my first penile rash was bilateral and guess what, the rash I had last week was bilateral.
Well, my first penile rash was bilateral and guess what, the rash I had last week was bilateral.
I think you should just relax and stop stressing out you sound crazy if you have it you have it, stressing yourself out like this is hurting your mind and your health. It is not the end of the world if you get something most of the population have. Relax .... Im Praying your results come back negative tho. :)
I'm not stressing out because of myself. These rashes I've had have been so mild that I don't care.
But the fact is, I'm married and have two kids. I made the biggest mistake of my life by having a session with a CSW. Our marriage had been seriously lacking sex for the past two years. I have a very strong libido so I thought what's the harm if I ease the pressure a little? I still love my wife with all my heart but needs are needs.
Stupid me I didn't think about the risk of getting herpes from an uncovered BJ! It's so common disease that I forgot about it and the fact that it can be transmitted to your genitals in oral sex.
So, as I said, I don't care if I have but I'm more worried about the consequences. I don't want this to break up our family. I want my children to have a happy family with a father and a mother.
I'm also scared of infecting my family members. If I'm positive, I don't have 100% certainty that it is only a genital infection. I haven't had any symptoms orally so I hope that if I'm positive, it would only be genital. I want to be able to kiss my kids and not worry.
And of course, I'm worried if my wife will ever want to have sex with me again in fear on infection or if she will throw me out. But of course I will tell her anyway if I'm positive.
But the fact is, I'm married and have two kids. I made the biggest mistake of my life by having a session with a CSW. Our marriage had been seriously lacking sex for the past two years. I have a very strong libido so I thought what's the harm if I ease the pressure a little? I still love my wife with all my heart but needs are needs.
Stupid me I didn't think about the risk of getting herpes from an uncovered BJ! It's so common disease that I forgot about it and the fact that it can be transmitted to your genitals in oral sex.
So, as I said, I don't care if I have but I'm more worried about the consequences. I don't want this to break up our family. I want my children to have a happy family with a father and a mother.
I'm also scared of infecting my family members. If I'm positive, I don't have 100% certainty that it is only a genital infection. I haven't had any symptoms orally so I hope that if I'm positive, it would only be genital. I want to be able to kiss my kids and not worry.
And of course, I'm worried if my wife will ever want to have sex with me again in fear on infection or if she will throw me out. But of course I will tell her anyway if I'm positive.
Your being really hard on yourself. Trust me if she really loves you she will understand. My ex husband cheated on me we have one son but I stayed with him even after he told me. A family together is more important to us women that a meaningless csw
Didn't get my 7 weeks test results before the weekend. Have to wait over the weekend for them. I'd just really like to get this overwith. If it's negative then I face another 6-8 weeks living in fear. It might as well turn positive at 12-16 weeks so what's the point?
I've ruined my life.
I've ruined my life.
I'm afraid I'm developing some kind of OCD / depression / anxiety. All I do on my free time is try to find differential diagnosis for my rash. But it seems it very likely is herpes. My only other hope is fungal / candida / nonspecific balanitis but I think it is unlikely.
I cannot focus at work. I am absent to my family even when I'm with them because my mind is constantly on whether I have herpes or not.
I have gone from a nice guy to a total wreck and I have only myself to blame.
I cannot focus at work. I am absent to my family even when I'm with them because my mind is constantly on whether I have herpes or not.
I have gone from a nice guy to a total wreck and I have only myself to blame.
Not doing so well right now. I feel like I might suffer a nervous breakdown. I feel like bursting into tears or running as fast as I can in a random direction. I don't think I can take much more of this.
Maybe I should make an appointment and get some anti-depressants or anti-anxiety drugs?
Maybe I should make an appointment and get some anti-depressants or anti-anxiety drugs?
my advice to you is to turn off your computer and live your life dear. you received terrific advice on the std experts forum. reread it again until you believe what you were told there. you are your own worse enemy at this point :(
certainly seek out professional help to help you move past this. your anxiety is out of control and obviously you are obsessing needlessly over herpes. talking to a counselor or therapist can hopefully help you get this all out and get help reclaiming your life and relaxing about it all :)
grace
certainly seek out professional help to help you move past this. your anxiety is out of control and obviously you are obsessing needlessly over herpes. talking to a counselor or therapist can hopefully help you get this all out and get help reclaiming your life and relaxing about it all :)
grace
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Herpes spreads by oral, vaginal and anal sex.
Herpes sores blister, then burst, scab and heal.
STIs are the most common cause of genital sores.
Millions of people are diagnosed with STDs in the U.S. each year.
STDs can't be transmitted by casual contact, like hugging or touching.
Syphilis is an STD that is transmitted by oral, genital and anal sex.
