Well, a second opinion is always a good idea if you have reservations about the surgery.
But I must add that 'how bad the post-surgery life is seems directly related to the woman's life prior to her surgery.' ( That is a nice way of saying that some people are simply big complainers! )
For every woman I have known who had a TAH/BSO and complained about the effects, I know another woman who had the same surgery and feels free..free from discomfort and worry.
Remember that while there are changes from the surgery - most all of these changes are going to occur naturally as a woman progresses through to menopause. And there are medications that can ease the transition after surgery. So, avoiding the surgery, if it is indeed necessary, is not going to spare you from the effects as you will simply age into them instead. And since there can be a genetic relationship to some cancers, the surgery might be extending your life. You should talk to a doctor that you trust.
You might want to have your genes tested to see if you carry the gene for Ovarian and
breast cancer. I have heard that if that is the case that it is realistic to have them out.