~ SPECIAL 3 DAY “ANXIETY” GUEST THREAD ~ Let’s Welcome the CL-Anxiety, JSGeare to our Community ~ Post Questions here about Anxiety and How to Reduce Stress. JSGeare may be able to help share some ways to reduce anxiety..so let’s post away!

[ChitChatNine]

Sample Topics for discussion -- Anxiety as it Relates to:

*   Waiting for Biopsy Results
*   Waiting for Tests to be taken
*   Waiting for Tests Results
*   Waiting for Surgery dates and Dr. Appts., etc.

Also,

*   Anxiety you may feel after a new diagnosis!

Let's Welcome JSGeare aboard and post away.  He'll be with us on this thread from 4/21-4/23. Let's make this a thread to remember .. by working together We Can Make A Difference!

Cheryl & Stella
Thyroid Community Leaders

[ChitChatNine]

ANXIETY & Lack of Concentration - Awaiting Ultrasound Appt.

I oftentimes feel a lack of general concentration the closer I get to a thyroid test appt. date (i.e., followup ultrasound).

It seems as if the closer the date comes, the less able I am to concentrate on things which ordinarily would be easy to do?

It is annoying that the "what if's"about my thyroid condition tend to reappear to the surface which normally on a day to day basis aren't there.

Any thoughts or comments are appreciated - any ways to help improve concentration when it kicks in like this?  I assume it is anxiety-driven?

Thanks for coming to the Thyroid Community.  I think most of us here have experienced anxiety as it relates to our thyroid health issues at one time or another.

Cheryl

[Rite760]

Hi, I would like some advice on how to cope with anxiety related to the horrible symptoms of tsh swinging back and forth and menopause symptoms. Sometimes it's hard to know which the symptoms are due to as a lot of them are similiar, eg. hot flushes, cold flushes, palpitations, etc. I hate taking medication, but at my worst have tried diazepam which does work but they won't give you much of here in the UK. And I've tried Propanolol which I hate, it feels as though I'm on another planet. And I also do relaxation, self-hypnosis and exercise. But nothing works! Any advice would be so much appreciated, even if it's medication that's recommended. Thanks very much.

[MKlacza]

I am relating to Rite760. I feel my anxiety feeds into any symptom that I may be having at that very moment. I do use meds occassionally to help with the panic/anxiety, but I hate taking pills as well and hate how they make you feel the next day.

My OB just gave me a prescription for Effexor XR and I have yet to fill because I hate taking pills and I wonder if the Synthroid and Effexor Xr will just make things worse..

See... I am having anxiety just about taking the Effexor XR!

Any advice would be great! I'm all ears!!

[JSGeare]

Sorry I'm late, I had a bad headache from that bartending thing I did here Friday night.

The problem with waiting for test results and of seeing levels fluctuate is that -just as you say- you have a confusion of feelings and information which would be hard to tease out even if much of the news was good. No news is good news? I don't THINK so, not in this case, anyway.

That said, I may be able to focus on two things here that are working against you, and which you can fix. "Not work" and "hate." As to the effects of medication, of course you can't like the sensations they give you -of course not. But you might be able to say they are "not working as hoped for," rather than "hating." This is not about just being polite; the point is to add some objectivity to your thought process, to better classify and define what's going on around you. To the point that you can DO so, you get 2 benefits: first, leaning away from the negative emotional expression steals some fuel from the anxiety fire, and second, if you can carefully describe the impact of a med, you can report the same to your doc and possibly narrow your focus to a medication that works better. It is very clear -stunningly clear- from your narrative that you are possessed of high intelligence and the ability to articulate your situation. So, put on your reporter hat and start taking some notes that really tell the story. And then, present the concerns to the doctor. THAT SAID, you noticed that diazepam does help, but is scarce. What can you do to make it a bit more abundant? Pound a few doors about that because others, no doubt, will benefit from your findings (reporter hat, again).

Nothing yet about the relaxation, etc., because coming to grips with the DATA, the facts, the information, is IMPORTANT. Part and parcel of that process is identity with others who are also walking the walk; here on Thyroid and perhaps a tour of the Anxiety forum, to sort of cover the waterfront of what others experience and do about it. You would be surprised at how a STUDY of your own situation, and creation of a context, can knock the fire out of the anxiety because you are active in your own self-interest.

Now, as to the diversions you can apply to get some relief. I might argue that if you had NOT done any of the relaxation techniques, self-hynosis, etc., that you might feel even worse. But I'm not suggesting you stop any of those just to see what happens. First of all, if "self" hypnosis doesn't cut it -what about hypnosis established by a skilled practitioner? If you are a "good" subject (not everyone CAN be hypnotized) then you might expect some very excellent relief; hypnosis is often applied to help people be their "best selves" under coinditions of extreme stress.

Next, how's your diet? The mere act of eating makes us feel good, especially when done in the company of others. Preparing food is also a "brain healthy activity." And I'm not just talking about eating all the brocoli you can find. While a balanced diet is important, the balance is not properly understood as being restricted to foods which deliver all the recommended levels of vitamins, fiber, minerals, etc. I'm including food that makes us feel good -it is important, essential, even. Do you like popcorn? Like the aroma? Marmalade on a buttered muffin? Oh my, I'm getting hungry! You get my point -stuff that TASTES good, makes you feel good, squeezes out your brain's own joy juice.

Have you thought about laughter? No kidding, heh, heh. Do yourself a favor and google "Norman Cousins." His discoveries about the chemical explosion of laughter are so profound that they have made a very serious(?) impression in the medical community. Don't laugh (well, DO laugh, then) the release of your own joy juice -the very thing the meds try to copy -may be closer at hand than you imagine. The problem with programmatic exercise, breathing, etc., is that their ritualistic nature sometimes makes it difficult to psychologically get on board. Far better, say I, to address directly what you know is in your own make-up to get the results you want.

Let me try to sum up here:

1. Look at all the data and information and facts as dispassionately as you can to assess where you are -both to eliminate confusion in your own mind and to deliver clear and actionable reports to yoiur care-takers.

2. Understand that you are in a very unnatural process. Most of us live our lives without paying much attention -we simply act, and most of the time, all is well. But, when we are in the midst of a very serious medical assessment, we are dropped into an alien world of tests, waiting, discussion, options -you know the drill. We need to adapt not just to the direct impact of all of that, but to the entirely new perspective of our own lives. Its hard work.

3. Realize that this IS a process with a beginning, middle and end. It is something you work THROUGH. And with each passing day, you are a day closer to getting through it all and making whatever adjustments will support your health and happiness for all your life long thereafter. YOU, my friend, are ina kind of boot camp.

4. Spare no effort or expense to please yourself. Do what you love, eat what you crave, and maybe a glass of that fine Claret you folks have over there (if not medically unapproved). Read that Cousins book and apply what you learn there to yourself.

5. Accept a role as a documentarian and reporter on behalf of all who are on this journey; assist others here on this forum and elsewhere; turn your experience into some focused energy and activity that will lift you up.

6. Consider professionally applied hypnotism as a mechanism to direct your intrinsic power and energy to your own relief.

You will find, I believe, that in the mere doing of these things, panic will lose some of the toe-holds it now has. That is exactly right. Will you have your moments? Of COURSE you will. Buit not as many, and not as severe. Anxiety LOVES a vacuum. Don't provide the empty space -and anxiety will have less to say to you.

Finally, you will note that nothing -absolutely nothing- I have told you is in the nature of nostrums, miracle cures with mysterious actions, or anything advertised late night on the independent channel. Every bit of it is material which you can immediately validate in terms of your own experience and common sense. Which is exactly why it will work for you.

Now, you're going to be busy -so let's get to work!

Thanks for the question.

JSGeare, Guest presenter

[Rite760]

Thanks so much for that informative reply, and for taking the time to explain it all so thoroughly. Funnily enough, my husband and mum both put laughter as number one at the top of the list all the time, which is why they are probably such laid back people! Also, I have found already, as you say, that when I come on to this forum and start ineracting with others and trying to help them too, it does actually make me feel better. And thanks for the other advice too, diet etc. I will look into it all. Thanks again.

[ChitChatNine]

WOW..thanks for all the info ... I have learned alot from your posting already  .. esp about the "hate" and being able to properly convey the meds and reactions to my doctor ... as well as it being an "unatural proces" .. you are so right!  Thank you!

Cheryl

[JSGeare]

I must confess that the anxiety ABOUT meds for anxiety seems worse, sometimes, then the anxiety for which the meds were orginally prescribed. That said, unless you have some reason to think that your doc prescirbed something he/she knew WOULD make you feel worse, I'd be inclined to try what the doctor said.

You DO say that you take meds "to help," so I assume they do help. And by now you may have read my response to Rite, some of which may be helpful to you.

But what I am campaigning for here is for people with thyroid to understand, as best they can, the context of their lives right now. As normal, healthy people, we live in a world of the "right now," reacting to appeals from every quarter to "try" this and try that, to appease our sense of instant gratification and we, as a society, would appear to move through life with no sense of direction at all, really -just gravitating toward the most recent or available thing of pleasure or curiosity. But then, bang! Some profound event stops us in our tracks and we find that the assessment of our health medically has very broad implications for our entire life. In a sense, our lives -as we knew them- are stolen from us while we muck through this invasive and exhaustive process. Not surprisingly, the reaction to taking medication is similar to our reaction to "trying" anything at all; we want and we hope for -indeed, have been trained to expect- immediate positive results!

And what I'm suggesting is, that in addition to using whatever remedies there may be -medicine, relaxation, breathing exercises, yoga, music, or eye of newt, etc., we also step back and look at the big picture of our lives as a panorama. As long as we are going to be psychologically imprisoned in a process, for a time, what can we do to learn how to adapt to it -and take such lessons back into our lives when our prision sentence has ended? This self-examination by no means needs to a dreary or scary undertaking; on the contrary, we may take from it great inspiration and happiness about what we now know is important in our lives and those of others.

Should we therefore eschew the many methods and techniques to relax, calm down, and come to grips? Of course not -there's a zillion of 'em out there, and they are there because they have been found to work. But we should also be aware that many of the techniques do not exist in isolation from everything else; they portray a cultural or spiritual context which has a basic understanding of like itself which is very different from our "everday" world. Our profound experience brought about by the thyroid challenge is the kind of thing which can prompt us to make a new assessment of our lives.

Unquestionably, coming to terms with the very broad implications of what is important, and what is not, will not only help us understand and manage our anxiety, but also give us an edge in the recovery from the thyroid affliction itself -it is another "arrow in your quivver."

And that's what we are all about, here. For whatever else may be said about our conditions and prognoses, we are all on a journey of self-discovery. Understand and use the experience in that way, and the energy of anxiety may be turned to a very fruitful and rewarding view of our lives, and the lives of those we touch.

[MKlacza]

Wow!! Thsnk you so much for your insight!!! Reading your words makes so much sense. I have to honestly say that am giving 1000% in my recovery for my thyroid and my anxiety. I am learning how to breathe correctly and willing to learn any other way to help in the recovery to my anxiety... other than pills.

Again, if you have any techniques other than breathing that might help in my journey, I am all ears!!!

Thank you for your time!!
mk

[JSGeare]

When I was asked to make an appearance here, the initial thrust was that I might be able to impart some ideas about "techniques" to deal with panic, aside from medications. I am totally unqualified to discuss medications. There's a little break in the action just now, so let me tell you a bit about myself and where "my head is" on anxiety and panic.

My principle qualification to say anything at all about anxiety is personal experience and recovery. My panis episodes started when I was 6 years old or so and popped up again and again over the years into early adulthood. As a youngster, I was terrified by the idea of death. Later, I was terrified at the idea of having to perform. I would collapse at job interviews, for example, and therefore applied for work which was less and less challenging -which seemed "safe." Eventually, in an unbearble bout of panic, I was admitted to the hospital, and then referred to psychiatry. I was 22 or 23 at the time. When I got to feeling better from therapy, I stopped going and for a few years, all was well with me -until it all started aGAIN some years later. Ultimately, I went back into ttherapy which took me on a long journey into my past, where I discovered why I was having panic attacks and anxiety. The result -8 years ago- was that I became free of panic and have no expectation that it shall ever return. Now, as a 59 year old man, I would describe myself as happy and well-adjusted. All of this is by way of saying, "been there, done that."

One of the hallmarks of GAD (generalized anxiety disorder) and panic attacks is that they seem, to the victim, to come out of "the blue." That's why the condition can be tough to treat, because you have to know where it is coming from to really treat it.

And that's what makes ME different, in some important ways, from YOU. You folks absolutely know where the anxiety is coming from...

...or do you?

We might say the question is silly. Your anxiety comes from the HUGE challenge of the whole process of dealing with discovery, definition and treatment of thet thyroid condition you have. The tests, the waiting, more tests, more waiting. The medical options, the followups, the hormone levels, the changes to your life.

But I hold out to you that the prime mover of anxiety may run deeper than that. In fact, I will offer, as an operational assumption, that it DOES run deeper. Any profound disorder or illness or injury carries with it the possibility of very serious changes to your entire life, and at the extreme, the possibility of an abbreviated life. Even though thyroid treatments are very effective and continued research and advances in technique are giving us new tools to deal with it, the reason we subject ourselves to all of that is that this business is SERIOUS.

And so, when it presents itself in our lives as the most unwelcome turn of events, it is a HUGE STOP SIGN that carries with it ramifications way beyond the mere diagnosis and treatment. And what are we really afraid of? What do we really worry about? We worry that we are at risk in the ultimate sense; THAT's what we worry about. THAT's the anxiety driver.

I don't say this merely to get attention; rather, I focus on it for these 2 reasons:

1. So YOU know that I do understand and appreciate the depth and breadth of the experience, and
2. So that you know that anything I might suggest or recommend is not strictly isolated to a "tide-me-over" kind of tip or trick to help you along. If the disorder itself is profound, then so is the anxiety that corresponds to it.

One thing that veteran panic and anxiety victims experience over the course of their disorder is the abundance of methods, techniques, supplements, exercises and programs that are promoted to help with panic and anxiety. Typically, and as you will read on our anxiety forum, people "try" this and "try" that. And with each trial and failed outcome, the sense of desparation is reinforced. At the same time, when anything WORKS, it does so not because the thing itself has any special property, but rather because it has served to stimulate a new view or approach on the part of the individual who is "trying" it. In the end, be it the latest medication or be it throwing chicken bones on the ground and baying at the moon, it is WE, it is our brains, that DO THE WORK.

Do not take from this that I have a skeptical view of all the methods, techniques, supplements or even prescription meds. I have no such negative view. The test is not the pedigree of the treatment, but rather the benefit to the patient. When the Germans ran out of artillery shells in WW I, they loaded their mortars with big alarm clocks, horse shoes, metal tools, big stones, mattress springs, sections of chain and barbed wire and anything else that could knock someone down or inflict injury. And when the Israelis had their first encounter with the Egyptians shortly after Israel was established, their airforce -being comprised of several light private planes- dropped seltzer bottles on the enemy. Lesson: you do what works and you dismiss nothing as a possible treatment (provided, or course, that it is not known to be harmful). And so, I, personally, have no problem with all the resources that are available. And all of this comes with a caveat, however: when something "works," it is YOU who did the work.

That said, my approach to the anxiety component of your medical challenge is to start out, right from the get-go, by getting at source material which is always found in JUST ONE PLACE: your brain. That huge stop sign and disruption in our normal existence is, among many things, a time when we count some chips -it is a "defining moment" no matter how you slice it. And so, "as long as you are here," why NOT take the time to appreciate and understand your life, and indeed, your very self, more deeply.

I hold out to you that the re-organization of your thought process and self-understanding, and the establishment of new priorities is an immensely healthy process, spawned, as it is, by the enormous challenge you face. The very doing of this will not only redirect the energy of anxiety to the construction of new and more fruitful approaches to life, but also give you an advantage when it comes to marshalling your body's own resources to pursue the healing mission that lies before you.

The overall point here is that the most effective treatment for your anxiety is exactly the same for you as it is for the folks over on the anxiety forum -and everywhere else: the power of your own brain. It is that brain which telegraphs to your conscious mind the message of a serious threat -so also it is that brain which will, in the end, make the adjustments to turn anxious energy and negative thought into productive energy and positive thought. Freely do anything at all which is likely to support and assist that process. And chief among those things to do is to BE HERE, to read, learn, share, receive and give help.

YOU -YOU- are your own best resource.

And that, my friends, is the message I'm trying to give you. After it is all said and done, you will, one day, be able to say with absolute integrity, "I did it."

You BET you did.

And then, you can bear that torch so that others may do the same.

[JSGeare]

The breathing things "works for you." Excellent. Go thou, the rest of you, and do likewise. There is no question -NONE- that a repeatable calming, channeling activity or point of focus will produce results which seem fare out of porportion to the time and energy it takes to do them. But rather than run down a list of all the others possibilities, let me just encourage you, and everyone, to google this: "anxiety relaxation techniques" or similar words. I did -and got many hits. You will see many of the same things appearing over and over. Two reasons: first of all, some methods are of such long-standing and known benefit that everyone mentions them. Second of all, some web sites steal it from others! Human nature, you know.

I can also tell you that when I was in early training for the ordained diaconate, we were instructed on "guided meditation," in which I and other recruits sat before an icon in a candle-lit room and simply stared at a painting of the Blessed Mother and baby Jesus. And I can tell you that, having done so, my experience serving at the altar dramatically changed from "service" to adoration and considerable euphoria. I think I "get it" about the heavenly hosts, now. I do not mean for this to turn into a commercial for catholicism.

And I can also tell you that I was formally instructed in the methods of TM by one of the Marihishi's (however you spell his name) own certified trainers. To this DAY, I can knock out a persistent case of hiccups by meditating.

And all of this serves to underscore the power of our brains.

I'll BET you, MK -I'll just BET you that when you slip into the breathing routine, you also are "thinking," not perhaps in a the sense of working out a problem, but rather in the sense of a relaxed alertness about the challenge that lies ahead and the really very incredible abilities you have built right into you to pursue that challenge.

Keep on keeping on -you guys are good!

[AR-10]

I was saving myself for after he gets worn down a little. :-)

Mr. Geare, and I feel you deserve the respect, I have a problem that is related to anxiety, although my anxiety is mild and controlled (sort of) with Alprazolam.

"Some profound event stops us in our tracks and we find that the assessment of our health medically has very broad implications for our entire life. In a sense, our lives -as we knew them- are stolen from us while we muck through this invasive and exhaustive process."


My life has been stolen from me. I am given no suggestion that it will be returned in good condition. I cannot accept the changes that have transpired and will continue to. I have tried, but I simply cannot accept it.

I could go into greater detail, but it would be morose and embarrassing. I would like to discuss it privately, but I know I am not the only one on the board that is having this difficulty.

I know this is more than you signed on for, but I would take any thoughts you have to offer.

There are millions of people in stickier situations than mine, but frankly, when I wake up in pain and go through another wasted day, my problem is more important to me than theirs. Selfish, pathetic, but true. I can't see past the likelyhood of financial ruin to begin the process of building a new life, and it will surely be a different one.

I can't find the patience to let my body heal, let alone start planning a new life.

I cannot accept it. I am afraid the proper phrasing may become will not, rather than cannot. Symantics, really.

[ChitChatNine]

Question about how does the sense of smell work with anxiety?

Many on this community often ask of ways that others have reduced their anxiety as they wait for surgery dates weeks off in the distance -- i.e, my biopsy was suspicious for cancer and I had a 9 week wait.  

I became a fan of aromoatic candles .. in particular the one's made by Yankee Candle whose scent was strong and filled the house rapidly.

So I was wondering how do the sensories such as smell work in reducing anxiety

     *  Light a candle and the aroma forced me to feel good and less distracted

How?

So since my encounter with Yankee Candle I have probably bought out the store with accessories and even found a Yankee Candle Outlet Store not too far away .. but it works every time .. light a candle, am forced to ENJOY the scent, and somehow feel better .. but WHY?  Or is it all in my head that I think I feel better.

Cheryl -
( partial thyroidectomy 1/07 papillary microcarinomas & melanoma 6/07 (very early stage I)  - both fully healed and doing well.

[stella5349]

Hello,

I read through all the posts and answers you gave and thanks for going into such detail. I was wondering however- if you may be able to take another quick look at AR's comment and be able to comment on that?

Thanks for everything.

[ChitChatNine]

JSGeare is due back sometime this morning ......... keep all your ?'s coming ........ we certainly are keeping him busy!

C~

[JSGeare]

Give me a moment to read and digest the rich and copious material which has recently accumulated and I shall then attempt an enlightened response (lights candle, sniff's flame. Ouch!)

[ChitChatNine]

We are patient on thyroid.  We anxiously await your wonderful replies!  

Seems that is what we do best here .. wait for test results, wait for answers, wait for our meds to work or not work, wait wait wait ... hurry up and wait.  

Do I sound anxious for your replies?  Nahhhhhhhhhhhh you have taught us how to be patient and be stress free as we do it ..... thanks for you update!

Cheryl

[JSGeare]

AR10 -and others for whom you speak (vast audience, that): I am personally devastated by your brutually honest and direct expression of what life is like for you, and the wise and courageous caveat that you CANnot or maybe WILL not "accept" it. And I am all the more moved by your narrative, because you are such an incredible resource and great help to others on your forum. It isn't fair, it stinks, what's happened to you and I hate it. Unquestionably, your exquisite rendition will move many whom you have helped to be at your side, as much as that is possible in this "cyber" world. And if that is the only outcome of this 3 day gala, then it will have been well worth it.

Now, to dig in to your material. I think if your carefully comb through my brilliant exposition, ignoring the mist pellings and type ohs, tortured grammar and cryptic punctuation as best one might, you will find that what I have been campaigning for is not so much "acceptance" as it is discovery. And I hold out to you that the process of self-discovery, and self-understanding which inevitably is the result, is well underway with you and the evidence for this is of 2 sources: first of all, your post above -the most compact and powerful statement of your situation -and that of others- that there could ever be. Second, your activity on this forum. I've been keeping a dossier on you, my friend, and can report that much of the well-being experienced by others here is the result of your own understanding, compassion, straight-talk, appreciation of irony and even humor. Show of hands: Who disagrees with this? Nobody.

Your role in life, albeit one that is not of your choosing, has taken a decidely different turn since the onset of the serious challenge you now face and engage on a continuous basis. And you have derived value and meaning by being present to the community of fellow travelers, who, like you, now walk a tortorous path that was not of their own choosing. I personally believe that "acceptance," if sought directly, will almost NEVER be obtained. I have, myself, always been uneasy with the advice to "accept" something which, by its very nature, is unacceptable. What should that word "acceptance" really mean? That it doesn't bother me? That I'm somehow happy with my loss or the threat of loss? That I have achieved some transcendent state of mind which magically innoculates me from anquish, anger, fear and denial? And if it means any of those things, do I just throw a switch somewhere to activate my "acceptance?"

I doubt it.

I promise I am NOT trying to get into semantics here, to pick words which make my line of thought automatically unassailable. And so, instead of "acceptance," I rely on "integration" as some reliable measure of how well we are adapting to our realities. Example: when I was a kid, back before styrofoam cups had been invented, I was TERRIFIED by the concept and mere though of death. I would lie quaking in my bed about this, I would cry out in the middle of the night, "Oh my God I am going to die one day!" I was haunted, haunted for weeks at a time by this, day AND night, well into my young adult years. Now, one must really wonder, why would any normal, healthy little kid aged 6 or so be pre-occupied with such morbid thoughts? Well, the answer to that is a lot of psychiatry, but the upshot is this: Today I am no longer haunted by those thoughts.

Why am I no longer bothered? Certainly not on account of acceptance, that awareness of my mortality is a really nifty idea after all is said and done. And I don't have a get out of jail free card from the Almighty. So ...what happened? What happened was, "integration." Which is to say, finding a fit for the inevitable with everything else that's happening or going to happen, so I can function as best I may. The particular means by which this is accomplished -be it the result of deliberate contemplation or the sudden appearance of a potentially catastrophic disorder, injury or illness, is intensely personal. That said, I believe that the common thread among all forms of integration and adaptation is the discovery of value and meaning in life right this very minute. It boils down to this: "OK, I'm either 'out of here' or very seriously sick and in pain for a long time. So, what do I do NOW?" Exactly. What happens now, today and tomorrow? What can I do about what I can actually reach out and touch? The question, while it may seem trivial at first, is really the most profound encounter with value and meaning there ever was and it is one which is inevitably ANSWERED by everyone -although often, not as a consequence of intentionally thinking about it. The staggering encounter with a medical crisis has a way of "forcing the issue."

As you should be aware by now, if what you (meaning everyone, not YOU AR, individually) want is sweet talk and soft sugary reassurances -I am NOT your guy when it comes to the subject matter now before us. That sweet stuff may be offered and also accepted as sincere expressions of compassion and love and concern. I'll take all I can get, thank you very much. Far better, I think, to deal with the ultimate questions head-on. I say this so you know that what I'm about to say next is not just the result of a terminal case of pep-talk.

To return: it is, always and inevitably, all about RIGHT NOW, because that, really, is all there is at this moment. So, what do you do with the present reality that you have? What YOU do AR, is help other people and in so doing receive feedback about yourself; not just data, facts or information; I'm talking about your process of self-discovery, self-understanding and what "it is all about." And in your case, the news is good. You have become a part of a community which collectively is much greater than the sum of the individual members, and you are building that community, and supporting individuals within it. Acceptance? I don't THINK so, at least, not in the sense that simply move along as though nothing has happened. Trust me, if I knew how to do it, I would come over to your place and kick that nasty stuff right out the door! And if you doctor calls tomorrow and says, "Good news, we now have the cure and can reverse everything and make it go away," would you take the cure? Would all the people who say they have "accepted" their situation jump at the opportunity to get rid of the affliction? I hold out to you that if taking the cure were the measure of acceptance, we would see NOBODY had accepted it.

But that doesn't mean there cannot and should not be understanding and adjustment to the new reality. There can be, and there should be. And that is exactly what you and so many others strive for. It is human nature -even in the worst of situations- to search for meaning and value regardless of what is happening to them. Those who do it well ultimately adapt, and those who don't, or who refuse, have yet another burden to carry. You, and many people on your forum -and many other forums- are helping one another not just face the routines and details of diagnoses and treatment, but also the great and good effort living lives with value and meaning. It is, in the end, all that counts. I do not envy you but I deeply admire you and urge you to continue the good work that lies ahead.

In my next post I'll give candles the "sniff test."

JSGeare

[JSGeare]

Scented candles, I think, are an excellent way to create a comforting environment in many stressful circumtances and should be freely deployed as desired. And if they have the effect of "forcing" you to feel good, then by all means load up. So what if your place looks like a fortune teller's tent? In this case, the outlook is very positive.  Various "essences" are also available in aromatherapy kits -they may be added to bath water or boiled off in little pots. I had touched on the idea of appeasing your own sense earlier with certain tasty snacks and foods. When I had been hospitalized for panic many moons ago, I was uneasy with hospital food, but had the most irrepressible desire for dill pickles. They made me feel good. I was not pregnant at the time and don't believe I ever have been.

Let me move beyond the immediate "feel good" thing with candles and other such environmental controls, and speak to the larger issue of WHY they -or anything- might be helpful with anxiety, troubled thoughts and the usual gang of diots who follow us around.

Fact is, your BRAIN is very powerful. If you can observe the positive impact of mere aroma, it means there is something about that aroma that your brain has classified as a very good thing. It is NOT, I say, the aroma that does anything at all, in and of itself. No magical properties, no intrinsic therapeutic value whatsoever. Folks, we're talking about the combustion of aromatic hydrocarbons here; you could just as well float away in a euphoric cloud of tranquility from inhaling auto exhaust fumes -as thousands of NASCAR fans give evidence all season long. And I ask you, have you every seen a poorly adjusted NASCAR fan?

Nevermind.

What IS really working is your noodle, which is triggered by that essence of pond scum or whatever your favorite is. And that should tell you, loud and clear, that when you find ways to talk to your own brain, you can do much on your own behalf to deal with the anxiety. It is not the candles or souped up cars -it is YOU.

Granted, when you are suddenly confronted with a medical crisis, it is not as though you have kept a handy list of all the ways you can flatten the anxiety response for just such an occasion as this. And that is precisely WHY you immerse yourself in anything at all that might appear to offer some relief, either by appealing to the senses or the intellect. I'm not saying to be ridiculous about this, and I will even offer the caveat that the greater the promised effect, the greater the need of hard evidence.

In summary: the key to handling the anxiety is finding the pathways to your brain that allow you to put it to work on your own behalf. For some, the proffered meds may do the job; for others, the meds may create yet another medical situation. Just know this -as the candles show you- your brain, having created the anxiety, is the perfect (and the only) means to relieve yourself of it, as well.

OK?

[ChitChatNine]

Thanks ...

I often refer people to candles and they come back with positive feedback but next time I'm going to "borrow" some your reply .. WOW again.  

Now that I am emotionally removed from my stressful situation (it is long gone) I crave the intellect.  The next phase of recovery/healing I guess is intellect along the way  .. ut oh .. did I light another match/candle here?

BTW, if you were pregnant you'd be amazing!

Cheryl

[JSGeare]

In a society and culture which tells us we need not wait for what we want -that we can have it RIGHT NOW (and pay later, heh,heh) the wait for test results seems eternal. What does one DO while one waits?

Well, what you do and many others do is think about -and worry about- possible outcomes -THAT'S what we do. This isn't exactly like waiting to see if you passed your driver's license exam. Among the better things you can do while waiting are these:

1. Freely share the discomfort of waiting with fellow travelers who are also waiting. Picture yourself on a train platform, waiting for the commuter train. You lean on one foot, then the other, fiddle around in your case or pocket book. But, if you are able to strike up a conversation with someone else on the platform, the time passes more quickly.

2. Remind your doctor(s) that waiting is an excruciating part of the process and directly ask, "What do I do? How can I handle this?" If he/she starts scribbling something on a pad, gratefully accept it but then add, "what can I do other than take pills?"

3. Find the local support group of real live folks who are also either waiting or at some other point in the process.

4. If you can do it, busy yourself with some activity or interest which supplies IMMEDIATE GRATIFICATION. Learn how to decorate cakes (I swear I'm going to do that -I already know how to bake them). Join a book club, take up a Bible (Talmud, etc.) study group, be a volunteer for 2 days a week, learn how to be a bartender, take golf, riding or archery lessons.

5. Do something you never thought you ever would or could do. Learn karate, jump out of an airplane (parachute attached) or learn scuba diving. Go touch a snake or hold a spider. Learn which mushrooms probably won't hurt you. Grow herbs. If you are in a solid relationship -explore new avenues of intimacy (with your partner, I mean). You may think this is silly, but I'm NOT making this stuff up! You now HAVE a great challenge before you, both the extent of your disorder and the process of evaluation and treatment. OK, fine, as long as you have THAT challenge, then give yourself some others so as to:

A) condition yourself mentally to handle challenges (learning, preparing, training, doing, etc.) and,
B) being reminded that, yeah, you CAN deploy your brain and body to accomplish more than you may have originally thought. Trust me, THAT will come in handy.

6. Whaddya LOVE? What's your craving or weakness? Buy more candles, bake more cookies, eat more ice cream, start the wine collection, get a massage or facial or fancy spa get-away, go visit the grandchildren and spoil 'em to death -then, send them back into the nest. Revenge is sweet.

This isn't just mindless pleasure-seeking (not that I personally have a problem with that); this is prep time, discovery time, adventure time. The worst that can happen is you'll get another skin to hang on the shed.

Trust me, trust me, trust me: in the pursuit of these diversions, your brain will be at work, processing, spitting out new ideas, questioning, thinking in consequence of the new situations and challenges you undertake. When you decorate that first cake, who will you give it to? What will the occasion be? What does that mean to you? What does that person mean to you? Your brain will call up memories and ideas as sure as a Wurlitzer juke box at the soda shop.

So, why not YOU respond to this and say, "Hey, I could ... (and fill in the blank)!

[AR-10]

So you're saying I should become a Nascar driver...

Brilliant!!
I'll start practicing with my wife's convertable on the way to physical therapy today. :-)




Sincerely, thank you for the time you took giving my post a thoughtful response. I read it three times (mostly to suck up the pats on the back), and I will read it a few more times to absorb the message and it's intent. I'll read the whole thread again, as I realize you are weaving a common thread into each response.

It's very kind of you to give of yourself here. I am painfully aware of how much time a response the length of those that you are providing takes. I know the last sentence in my post caused you to sit back and think very hard before responding. I will mull over your thoughts and advice.

Then I will assail your inbox such that you think it is an ongoing bot attack. You will be mashing the ignore button furiously. LOL!!!!

Best regards.

[dscoochie]

I am finding that I have to read each part of this thread a few times over in order to fully grasp it all.  It's very detailed and "deep", for lack of a better word (less the nascar bit).

I do like and believe what you are saying, JS.  It makes perfect sense for the here and now.  However, for most who live with anxiety, the here and now is not the problem.  RIGHT NOW, I feel fine.  However, yesterday, and earlier this morning, I felt like my world was crumbling down around me.  I fear that I could start to feel that way again at any given moment.  In a hour, a day, maybe a week, most likely far sooner, as that fear is present always, front and centre.

(Just to give you some background, I had a suspicious nodule that was removed two weeks ago with a partial thyroidectomy.  I am still waiting the results of pathology and have literally been living in fear since October of 2007 when the nodule was found.  I DO  NOT want to die, my young children need me, and I dont want them to *not* remember me, their mother.  I know it sounds ridiculous, extreme, pathetic, but this is how I have been living (some life, huh?) and I fear that this nightmare may have just begun, if the results come back "bad".)

So, given that I am completely irrational (at some times I realize that, and other times, I think I'm completely sane in feeling this way), how do *I* cope with this horrific amount of stress and worry and anxiety?  

[ChitChatNine]

You may be going through a rough period right now, but trust me you will take what you think is weakness today and tomorrow you will become a stronger person from all you have gone through today  ..

There is no such word as weakness.. only varying degrees of strength!!

Cheryl

[ChitChatNine]

I know you didn't use the word "weakness" but your posting brought this phrase to my mind and I wantd to share,

C~