Am I addicted?

[opiohelp82]

New here, I have a complicated question and anyone out there with info about this would be greatly appreciated! I have been taking OCs for about 6 months now. Never have taken opiods before that. I started out at a pretty high dose for an intolerant person (30mg/day) and ONLY 6 months later, I was up to 300mg!!!! Anyway, I have never tried to quit until about 2 weeks ago. It was so easy to get these meds as I have a friend who gets a 90 script a month and only takes 2 or 3 (80mg pills)! He would just give me what he had left over and I would self-medicate for my back problems (My back problems are another story in itself). I have had flat feet my entire life and it had started to affect my back when I was 15 & 16. When I would go see the Dr, he would just tell me that I was fine and give me flexeril and Skelaxin to help with muscle issues. Each Dr. I've been to has treated me the same way saying it is all muscle related when I know I am in so much pain and those muscle relaxers don't help. I've even been transferred to a chiropractor to see if that helped. It felt soooooo good when he would first crack my back, but as soon as I bent down to get into the car, It would go back to the same excrutiating pain! After a year of that, I figured out that it would never work and that no Dr. would ever help me live a normal life. So, 6 months ago I had a tooth worked on and the Dr. gave me Lortab to help with the pain. I took them and realized that It helped not only my tooth pain, but to an extent, my back pain as well. So I remembered my friend that was taking OC's and how he had offered them to me one day when I could barely walk, but I never accepted before because I was scared of them. So I went to his house and he gave me about 2 months worth of his (almost 180 OC's!) and I started taking how much ever it took to keep me going for that day. Needless to say, It did not take me long to build up a tolerance as I was taking them not only for pain, but also because they made me feel good and I could really interact with people better. Here 6 months later, I began to realize that I had to come off of these NOW! before it became any worse. I tried tapering (that was a joke), I tried CT and went into the worst withdraws ever. So I decided to see about getting suboxone to help until I could comfortably come down. Well, about a week ago, I got my suboxone and waited 15 hours before taking it. I was very uncomfortable after those 15 hours, but I was able to take the suboxone with no problems. So I was doing good for like 4 days when all of a sudden, I felt like I just had to take an OC, so I did. The suboxone blocked most of the effects, but I did get a little buzz. I waited till the next morning (yesterday morning) and took another one (80mg) and felt way better this time. I took another 1/2 at around 3pm (yesterday) and then last night at 9pm, i took 4, 10mg norco's and was going to wait until this morning until I was in much discomfort before going back on the suboxone. Here is the problem, at this moment, 15 hours later, I still feel great and am not going through any w/d's!?!? I don't understand? In the past, I always start to feel uncomfortable around 6 hours after I take the OC's and in pretty bad withdraws after 10-12 hours, and here it is 15 hours after I have taken the norco's and I have 0 w/d symptoms? Maybe I wasn't addicted after all? or maybe I should just wait a little longer? Either way, I am not going to take the suboxone until I feel pretty sick. WOW this turned out to be a way longer post than I expected. Sorry for explaining everything, but I just felt like maybe any info would be helpful for people to give me advice in any area. Thanks for listening! By the way, for the last 2 months I have been snorting these after I found online that it works faster and stronger- just in case anyone needs this info to give advice.

[opiohelp82]

just 4 days

[Frivolousz21]

24 mg of Sub a day is a ton.

you will feel like your on your death bed for a week if you CT that.

How long were you on the Sub?

[opiohelp82]

With my job, I cannot - absolutely CANNOT - take any personal days. I work 9 months out of the year and am off the whole summer (I wish I would have done this during my break!)! If I don't get too sick while at work then i'll give it a go and see if I can just not take anything from here on out, but if the withdraws are still on their way, and if it is anything like it was last time, I won't be able to quit CT and still function at work. Thanks for the advice. I will try to hold out as long as I can and keep you guys posted as to how I am doing. Does anyone know how long I could expect withdraws at the dosage I was at?

[vicki595]

Okay...what some of us having been trying to tell you is that the Sub is DELAYING any withdrawals. They will arrive I'm sure.    You've got that now...

My personal opinion is this: If you get to day three,just keep going WITHOUT the Sub.
Just push through and by day five you'll feel much better about the whole situation. Give it a try.  Sub definitely has it's place and has saved many...BUT...it has it's own set of withdrawals and problems. Weigh it out carefully.

Good luck!

[opiohelp82]

Ok, I know I should follow my Doctors prescription and take 24mg/day and that you guys aren't allowed to give any advice on a taper schedule, but I am wondering now.....since the suboxone has lasted this long (going on 2 1/2 days) I'm thinking about taking only 2mg at a time when I need it (intense cravings) and this way I should be able to quit this med as soon as possible as well. DON"T WORRY THOUGH. I will still continue my therapy and going to the NA meetings. They have helped so much and I would even go as far to say that I recommend them to anyone even if they are not an addict! If I had somehow became involved with AA or NA before my addiction, then I most certainly would have never started this in the first place. But I did mess up and there is a reason God has sent me down this road... maybe to help someone in the future that is struggling with the same things. I have never been religious in my life, but here recently I have been more open minded instead of thinking in this little box that the world considers "reality". I have become aware that there more than likely is some being who has created me and has a special purpose for me. I must now find and fulfill that purpose....that is what is keeping me going

[dominosarah]

As long as you keep trying you will never fail~~~~Do whatever it takes to make you the No.1 priority.  You are worth it~~~sara