Crying Opiate Tears ...Again....

[bewitched_queen]

Hi guys, good morning to you all. It's been a very long night and here I sit, 8am, crying because I'm dying inside.  I've taken all the advice, Imodium, lots of gatorade, sleep aids. And nothing compares to what I really want. The tears are not from self pity tho, they are from knowing I can go get them and I'm fighting myself not to. It's killing me. This may sound crazy to some that havnt fought the opiate demon but it feels as if my heart has been ripped right out. No joy, no happiness. Only misery. I think of going on everyday like this and I would truly rather be dead. I'm sorry to all the people who have had kind things to say and been supportive. But I'm just not strong enough. I'm so sorry.

[babysteppin]

Can you please help me through getting off norco.  I have never taken this drug and at first,  for four months , I was fine or thought I was.  I began taking these pills after almost losing my life in a accident.  Fractured spine, and alot more...hospital had me on the strongest medication, then discharged me on methadone which scared me to take but had too becaue of the pain and weaned off of that as soon as I could and began norco.  I was fine or at least thought I was fine and now I am so depressed, detached, confused, disoriented, no apetite unless I take a norco in which I wait until evening and only take one which I know is the only reason I am sleeping.  Do you know if  I just cut back little by little to stop severe withdrawls.  I am so scared and alone. No friends due to a recent divorce

[NeverDreamed]

Well call or text him and tell him when he is off, he needs to get them out of the house.  I'm glad you got out with kids.  Know though that you will obsess over them if they are within your reach.  You have to get them as far away from you as possible.  Keep yourself busy, but you will only torture yourself having those things around.  You can do this.  Remember this site helped me so much because it made me accountable for my actions.  I knew I had people relying on me, people who cared who I did not want to hurt for me.  You have that too, and if you are tempted to find them and cannot muster the strength for yourself, find it for us, the ones on the sidelines checking on you, worrying about you, wanting so much for you to succeed... not trying to be a guilt trip, just want you to know how important you are.  Even as a stranger, I feel so much love and support here.   Keep up the clean time sister.

[bewitched_queen]

Thanks to all of you :)  I took the kids to the local library and checked us all out a few books. Maybe this will help take my mind off everything for a little while. Oh how I hope. I found myself in the library wondering where he might have hidden those suckers... him coming back to get them isnt an option tonite. he's at work, like I knew he would be tonite. convenient huh. an addicts longterm plan. but I have not fallen weak & have not called him to ask where they are. I'm really trying .

[howlingshadow]

O my gosh, I know how it feels you feel like your whole world is crumbeling you cry at everything you feel abandoned and you are angry at the world. I hope you stay strong and i hope you keep posting. I must have cried an ocean over the last month and I was not even on as strong a dose as most. It ripps at me to know how many people are going through this, I know how cold and lonely and aweful it feels but the world has not abondoned you, they are right there its the pills that have done this to you. PLEASE dont go back to them........

[NeverDreamed]

Hey there Hun, check it out... I had the option last night at Day 22, remember?  It was people like you saying you admired me and were looking up to me, that made me make the concious decision "I will not trade my prescription for his, tonight.  Because Bewitched and the others that posted are counting on me, and because I can do this, I have to"
I have a wonderful husband, make plenty of money, I still have my house, my car, I have tons of friends....but none of these people not even my husband know.  So I look to this site to keep me strong.  I believe in my heart and soul you all truly care for me and my struggle.  You may not have tangible in your face friends, but we here know each others struggle all too well.. We want you to succeed, as some people here have found a new and exciting life, and the rest of us are either on our way to finding it, or are looking to find it.  We all are proof that it's there.  We all want better for ourselves, our family..   You can do this.  Take yourself to the mall, or grocery store, even if it's just to browse.  Call your children's father, tell him to go to the house and get the "stash" OUT.  You will not die from withdrawal, I promise you, you will feel better.  If you have thoughts of harming yourself, call 911.  Also know if you are having those thoughts, think of the repercussions, your children would miss you, they would grow up possibly blaming themselves, numerous negatives.   I've known suicide close to me, and you are only going to hurt all of those around you.  Get help if you are having those thoughts.  Please keep posting, we are here for you, I am here for you.  

[MikeInFrance]

Worth way more than 2 cents when u continue fighting.