HELP I AM SCARED !!!!!!!!

[magrat]

I just recently found out my daughter is taking Oxy, Roxy, Hydrocodone Perc's and if she dont have enough money($15 $20 and some $40) for these she gets the methadone. My daughter is 27 with 4 children 1,2,5 & 10. She started this about 6 mos. ago. Mind you this was my little girl who preached against this. Hated it! Formed her own JUST SAY NO GROUP! This was all thru school and up to last year hated drugs and what they stood for and wouldnt even take a Midol on her worst day! This is 1 of the worst days of my life! She denied it when I confronted her after 1 of her friends called me and told me YOU GOT TO DO SOMETHING! THATS WHY I AM TELLING YOU! SHE IS GOING TO KILL HERSELF BY O D OR THEM BABIES ARE GONNA GET HURT. So I talked to my 10 yr old grandson & he told me her boyfriend does drugs! But his mom dont! He said well she might because I heard her ask him how many pills he took he said 3 and then ask her and she said 1! He also told me she leaves him @ night with the 3 kids and says she'll be right back! I have them all right now! I told her I would keep them for the weekend! I want to keep them until she straightens up! He also told me that sometimes these  2 people stay with them (differ times) I know for sure they are on CRACK!!!!! if they want to go out but alot of times he keeps the kids! I GUESS WHAT I AM GETTING AT IS SHOULD I CALL DCF AND REPORT THIS BECAUSE SHE DENIES IT AND I DONT WANT THESE BABIES GOING HOME!! He told me they have no food sometimes the waters turned off for days because her boyfriend is useless and not worth the gun powder to shoot him with had every job and quit! Then he just lives off her child support with her. He doesnt mind her working hes just not gonna babysit! She doesnt work either because her check would go to daycare! UUUUGGGGHH!  I AM JUST DEVASTATED AND SO CRUSHED FOR HER ( By having this addiction) but she is grown but FOR MY GRANDBABIES CANNOT GO THRU 1 MORE DAY OF THIS! I ALSO FOUND OUT THE FATHER OF 2 OF HER KIDS HAS BEEN DOING COCAINE PILLS AND SMOKES WEED! NOW LOOK AT HER? My grandson is also very protective of his mom. But she told him if he tells anyone that she left him there with the babies HE WILL NEVER SEE HIS GRANNIE AND POP AGAIN OR HER OR HIS DAD! THAT DCF WILL COME IN AND PUT THEM IN A HOME WITH SOMEONE THEY DONT KNOW! I TOLD MY GRANDSON I AM SORRY SHE TOLD YOU THAT BUT GRANNIE AND POP WILL TAKE CARE OF YOU AND YOUR BROTHERS! PLEASE SOMEBODY HELP ME MAKE THE RIGHT CHOICE? I am not trying to be stupid but what I am trying to say is do we talk to her or DCF and keep the kids with us? By the way 2 of my grandsons dad travels with his job and takes care of them financially above and beyond but isnt somebody you can talk sensibly to about this because of his anger issues.

[magrat]

You know my father was an alcoholic and very abusive to my mother who died at the young age of 38 with cancer. We lived that same life of my grandchildren but my mother was always there. She wasnt addicted to nothing but GOD CHURCH AND HEAVEN and my DAD! She was always there but sometimes we didnt have anything but mustard and bread or rice. Come home from school 20 degrees , no POWER because the rent was due. She had nobody to help her and my grandpa was cap'n of police dept. We made it and she didnt! Ya know I PROMISED MY CHILDREN WOULD NEVER GO THRU THAT! OF WHICH THEY DIDNT! BUT NOW LOOK AT MY GRANDBABIES? I REFUSE TO ALLOW THEM TO GO THRU THAT!! You know my father today is such a beautiful person whi beat it all! And I thank God my mother always told us LOVE YOUR DAD HE IS THE ONLY ONE YOU WILL EVER HAVE and I have forgiven him! But I cant let my grandbabies go as long and as far thru this as I did growing up! VERY DIFFICULT AND NEGLECTFUL ON BOTH MY PARENTS! EVEN THO MY MOM DIDNT ABUSE ANYTHING SHE WAS JUST AS MUCH TO BLAME FOR ALLOWING US TO GO THRU THAT AS SMALL CHILDREN TIL i WAS 18 AND MOVED OUT!. I JUST CANT DO THAT BECAUSE I THINK I WOULD BE JUST AS BAD AS MY DAUGHTER AND HER BOYFRIEND YA KNOW? TURN THE OTHER CHEEK. IT TRULY HAS BEEN A BLESSING TO SEE OTHER PEOPLE ON BOTH SIDES GOING THRU SIMULAR THINGS. IT HELPS SEE THE WHOLE PIC AND NOT MAKE IRRATIONAL QUICK DECISIONS THAT YOU MAY REGRET LATER AND YOU FEEL LIKE YOUR ON THE RIGHT PATH! THANK YOU!

[kim715]

Well it sounds like if you are forced to go the DCF route you have a case against your daughter as well as the father of the 2 youngest ones,since he resides in the house with them and your grandson has witnessed his drug abuse.The fact that they have left a 10 year old to care for 3 younger siblings is a child endangerment charge so you have that going for you.It's good that you have a cordial relationship with the father of the older 2 and that he would let you keep them with you.It would help alot if you do have to make a report to have him on your side.Our granddaughters' father is a real a******,he will soon be going to court to face 11 felony counts related to drugs,but we made nice with him in order to get the necessary paperwork so that their mother couldn't come and get them.Right now my stepdaughter is in jail facing probation violations pertainning to drugs as well as prostitution.She hasn't seen or spoke to the kids ,well next month will be a year.There are 4 kids all together.The paternal grandparents have legal custody of the 2 older ones.In our case the father has temporary custody and he signed temporary custody over to us.We can't move any further in our case until she faces all her criminal charges then the courts say they will address our custody issue.My husband and I intend to do what the paternal grandparents did with the boys and go for full custody as soon as we can get the courts to hear our case.

[10356]

Kim715 is giving good advice from experience she may be able to help you a lot. I understand your fear and frustration. I would not confront her alone nor would I have the babies there Could you have one of your other daughters watch them when you confront her.. Also get hold of the friend that called you and have her write a statement.. As Kim said start writing all this down..

[magrat]

Well the sorry boyfriend is the father of 2 of them (1 &2) then her ex is the father of the 10 and 5 yr old which he is the one that keeps giving and giving and pays for all of them because the sorry one wont get a job!!! However he works out of town is at sea most of the time he goes 3 on and 3 off. He just left today and I cant even talk 2 him until he hits land or a area to call him. He knows his kids will do without if he doesnt do these things. But he gave her 150..today and they have no food? Well thats 10 pills. See I am seeing the full pic now and I start thinking of things and say Oh! I wondered or I remember she seemed different here or there thats how I approximated the time. He would sign power of atty over to me. We still get along with him. But we dont like hang out with him or invite him over you know we respected our daughter and realize he his our grandchildrens father.

[wannabefree330]

I am sorry you have to deal with this.  But you are a wonderful mom because you care.  Being an addict myself, i want you to know that although she may realize the kids are going without some things, she doesn't see how severe it really is.  She is in a sort of 'fog' if you will.  When using drugs I didn't see anything wrong with driving under the influence with my kids in the car.  Or spending money we didn't have to buy my prescriptions.  or all the time wasted that i could have spent with them.  I was just in a daze.  All she can think about right now is getting high.  I can guarantee that when she doesn't have any drugs and starts withdrawl she starts feeling all the guilt for neglecting her children and her whole world crashes down on her.  In order to get rid of this, she feels she HAS to use again.  Then she doesn't have to think about life.  It sounds like you have a very close, supportive family which she is going to need more than ever.  As far as the dad goes, well hopefully when DCFS shows up, he will be there and go to jail for a long time-which is better for the children anyway from the way he sounds.  

[magrat]

OH TRUST ME I WILL STAND MY GROUND AND I WANT BACK DOWN! I JUST AM SAYING I WOULDNT WANT HER 2 BRING ATTITUDE AND TRY TO GET VIOLENT! SHE HASNT BEEN A VIOLENT PERSON BUT I DONT KNOW WHAT COULD HAPPEN WITH HER ON DRUGS! WE HAVE ALWAYS HAD A BEAUTIFUL RELATIONSHIP! BUT IT WONT BE AFTER THIS UNTIL SHE IS HERSELF AGAIN! SHE ACTUALLY HAD 2 DCF CASES BEFORE BECAUSE OF HER INSANE NEIGHBORS IN THE PAST. BUT THAT WAS B4 ALL THIS. THE POLICE TOLD THE NEIGHBORS 1 MORE REPORT AND THEY GO 2 JAIL! DCF HAD NO PROBLEMS WITH HER BECAUSE IT WAS THE NEIGHBORS EVERYTHING WAS FINE AND THANK GOD THEY MOVED! I ALSO FOUND OUT THE BOYFRIEND IS ON PROBATION (FELONY) FOR THEFT! YOU KNOW WHAT IS SHE THINKING? hE IS ALSO UNFORTUNATELY THE DAD TO THE LAST 2 GRANDBABIES. HES JUST IN AND THEN OUT WHEN THE MONIES GONE!