Aa
I'm about to give up. No sleep.
I've been tapering. Down to 2 7.5 percs a day. I've slept maybe 4 total hours in 4 days. I'm losing my mind. Tried to stay positive but how when trying to work 10 hours and never sleep? Called doc, gave me trazadone, did nothing at all. I got 1 hour yesterday after taking .2 Clonodine and bawling till I passed out. Cancelled my therapy today since its no longer safe for me to drive. Never felt anything so cruel mentally. I don't know what to do. I fainted at work yesterday. A damn bullet sounds very appealing right now. I don't deserve this. I'm a good person and am trying so hard.
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Thank you so much to all of you. I am hanging on by a thread, but it's all I have. Of course I've thought about taking a few percs just to get maybe 5-6 hours, but I won't do it. I can't imagine this lasting much longer though. My pain is awful and isn't helping, but I'm not turning to more narcotics to get rid of it. I've tried everything I know to just get 2 or 3 hours so I don't hurt myself or someone at work. Valerian root, kava tea, melatonin, my normal klonopin, my normal clonodine, soaking in the hot tub, trazadone, and probably other stuff that I can't think of now since I'm in such a stupor and just plain sad. I was great at staying hydrated, but now with the stomach issues that come with withdrawal and me being an idiot and not drinking enough...well I'm sure that's part of the reason for the fainting episode.
I have no choice but to work through this, unless they give me my vacation. I confided in someone at work, and he promised he would work on trying to get me some of it. He's not MY boss though, just someone that I trust, so he can't do a whole lot. The person responsible for my vacation doesn't care for me much, so he's not going out of his way to get this done for me. He doesn't know anything about my situation.
I'm so darn close I can see the light. I just need a break to go my way and I'll be ok. I would jump right now, but then how many more days do I have to suffer with not sleeping and trying to do a physical job and take care of stuff around the house? My wife can and is helping all she can. I couldn't ask any more from her. On the other hand, I'm not sleeping anyhow even with the 2 percs, so why bother taking them?
I really needed my therapist today, but I couldn't fathom driving across town and putting innocent lives in jeopardy. Unfortunately, I didn't have anyone to help with a ride. Oh well.
I'm still here. I still want to win the fight. Is wanting something this much enough though? I'm down to hoping for some divine intervention.
I have no choice but to work through this, unless they give me my vacation. I confided in someone at work, and he promised he would work on trying to get me some of it. He's not MY boss though, just someone that I trust, so he can't do a whole lot. The person responsible for my vacation doesn't care for me much, so he's not going out of his way to get this done for me. He doesn't know anything about my situation.
I'm so darn close I can see the light. I just need a break to go my way and I'll be ok. I would jump right now, but then how many more days do I have to suffer with not sleeping and trying to do a physical job and take care of stuff around the house? My wife can and is helping all she can. I couldn't ask any more from her. On the other hand, I'm not sleeping anyhow even with the 2 percs, so why bother taking them?
I really needed my therapist today, but I couldn't fathom driving across town and putting innocent lives in jeopardy. Unfortunately, I didn't have anyone to help with a ride. Oh well.
I'm still here. I still want to win the fight. Is wanting something this much enough though? I'm down to hoping for some divine intervention.
Going to give You some Support..Just Hang on and Ride the Wave..It will get Better..DO NOT Be hard on your self..This disease like to bring us down in so many ways..Think of it as a Drug Brain Not your Real Brain thinking right now..You will become Clearer & Clearer as You get Clean..We have all walked in them shoes and are here today!! Sleep did seem to be the last..Watch out I am walking the road in 8 months and all I could do last month was Sleep!!! Just do not give up..OK
Bless
Bless
Please please please don't give up. I gave up once for this exact reason - lack of sleep. I slid right back into the habit of taking pills just so I could sleep. That went on for four months and I had to start a taper all over again. It is NOT worth it. Don't go back!! Soon you will realize that you are sleeping just a little bit more each night. It will happen. The weekend is coming and with it more time for rest.
You can do this.
You can do this.
Sorry for the typos.....just DO the next right thing.....and YOUR not you...
but I think you'll be able to understand what I meant to type....
but I think you'll be able to understand what I meant to type....
You're too close to "fold now"....who wants to go thru all you've been thru AGAIN? You at the tip of the iceberg......so close you can make it thru just one more day...one more night and have the weekend to jump off for good!
I have to tell myself to "just to the next right thing"......and when I'm done with that......"just to the NEXT right thing". You said above you can hang on one more day.......so tie a knot and hang....even if it's by a thread and not a rope......sometimes that's all I can do, too.
Here's a thread with 38 comments that ViCourageous posted:
http://www.medhelp.org/posts/Addiction-Substance-Abuse/Any-body-with-MONTHS-of-clean-time-HELP-/show/1905917#post_8890619
You can try anything from teas, to otc stuff like benedryl or nyquil, herbal, botanicals that affect your nervous system and relax it, to melatonin, alteril, calms forte, warm baths and hot pads, cuttiing off ANY stimulants like caffeine, on and on. LOTS of good stuff in that thread of Vic's above.
You have done SO GOOD getting off the Opana....and now down to such a low amount of percs.......don't let negative thoughts win.....and get ready for your jump to FREEDOM.......hang on with all you've got.....and then dig just a bit deeper for a little more.....I promise.....IT'S IN THERE!!!!
You won't EVER have to do this again.......and how you view yourself and your life will change in an AMAZIN way.......you will be have a completely different mindset and attitude if you just PUSH thru this last bit of hell.
Get ready world......cause another addict is being set FREE~
I have to tell myself to "just to the next right thing"......and when I'm done with that......"just to the NEXT right thing". You said above you can hang on one more day.......so tie a knot and hang....even if it's by a thread and not a rope......sometimes that's all I can do, too.
Here's a thread with 38 comments that ViCourageous posted:
http://www.medhelp.org/posts/Addiction-Substance-Abuse/Any-body-with-MONTHS-of-clean-time-HELP-/show/1905917#post_8890619
You can try anything from teas, to otc stuff like benedryl or nyquil, herbal, botanicals that affect your nervous system and relax it, to melatonin, alteril, calms forte, warm baths and hot pads, cuttiing off ANY stimulants like caffeine, on and on. LOTS of good stuff in that thread of Vic's above.
You have done SO GOOD getting off the Opana....and now down to such a low amount of percs.......don't let negative thoughts win.....and get ready for your jump to FREEDOM.......hang on with all you've got.....and then dig just a bit deeper for a little more.....I promise.....IT'S IN THERE!!!!
You won't EVER have to do this again.......and how you view yourself and your life will change in an AMAZIN way.......you will be have a completely different mindset and attitude if you just PUSH thru this last bit of hell.
Get ready world......cause another addict is being set FREE~
when you stopped the opana you were still using the pills so it helped with your detox and you didn't really go through withdrawal fully at that time. now as you continue to drop your dose of percs you are continuing to withdrawal.
take the percs tomorrow and then please stop. throw them away.
hydrate, exercise, eat protein, veggies, fruit, drink protein shakes,
are you vitamins?
you are not worthless you are getting clean, it is going to take time to heal. you were on heavy doses. please be patient.
don't give up, keep your eye on the prize.
sleepy time tea use valerian root with it. take a hot bath with Epsom salt.
there is a light at the end of the tunnel you are getting closer.
sending prayers, encouragement and support,
Debbie
take the percs tomorrow and then please stop. throw them away.
hydrate, exercise, eat protein, veggies, fruit, drink protein shakes,
are you vitamins?
you are not worthless you are getting clean, it is going to take time to heal. you were on heavy doses. please be patient.
don't give up, keep your eye on the prize.
sleepy time tea use valerian root with it. take a hot bath with Epsom salt.
there is a light at the end of the tunnel you are getting closer.
sending prayers, encouragement and support,
Debbie
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Insomnia is one of the most commonly reported symptoms of detox/withdrawal, and probably one of the more irritating. Sleep affects our mood, energy levels, concentration, everything.
While it is frustrating, some of the best advice I've seen is to try to allow the sleep to come back as naturally as possible, which is best for the long run. If you're going to try anything, I agree that a more natural supplement would be the best choice. I would personally not advise taking a prescribed insomnia med, for a few reasons...one, because obviously there are some risks involved. These are some very potent medications, and everyone reacts differently to them. The biggest reason is because, depending on how long you would take one of these meds, you will have to deal with rebound insomnia when you stop taking them. The rebound insomnia is often bad enough that it makes the initial insomnia look like a walk in the park. Insomnia meds should be limited to the shortest course possible, to avoid dependency, and the rebound insomnia issues.
That being said, I am a professional insomniac. ;-) I have struggled with my sleep for YEARS, not due to addiction, but due to many other factors (anxiety, depression, shift work). While I don't always get the best night sleep...I've learned some tricks of the trade that sincerely do help. Before turning to potent meds, I would advise you to exhaust all other methods, including the more natural or OTC remedies (which, you should also limit as much as possible, because rebound insomnia will occur with those too, after enough regular use).
Here are some tips to help with your sleep:
1. Avoid any and all stimulants (caffeine, nicotine, energy drinks, etc) as much as possible, especially within 4+ hours of bedtime.
2. Exercise is a great way to induce sleep, as it releases natural endorphins. Even a brisk evening walk will help. Your exercise should be an hour or more before your bedtime..you don't want to exercise right before bed.
3. Try to avoid eating a heavy meal close to bedtime. If you're hungry, stick to a light snack an hour or more before bed. Avoid ALL fluids 3 (or more if you can) hours before bed. Nothing worse than finally getting to bed and have mother nature wake you up!
4. Stick to a consistent bedtime and a consistent bedtime routine. Even on days when you don't FEEL tired at your bedtime, try to stick to your routine...that conditions your body and brain. Pick a reasonable time. If you work 3-11:30 and get home at 12, a reasonable time isn't 12:30, as you would need time to unwind after getting home.
5. Create an environment conducive to sleep and relaxation. Your bedroom and bed should be an inviting place that you look forward to retiring to. Keep the room clean and clutter free, keep dust levels down. Keep your bedding washed with clean or fresh smelling scents. Choose comfy, non-binding clean smelling PJs. ALL of our 5 senses affect our mood, and also our sleep. If you have a quiet room, but your sheets smell like feet (lol), that won't be very relaxing. Keep the room DARK. Keep weather in mind. In the summer, you would only need a light sheet or blanket, in the winter, heavier blankets are necessary to keep you comfy. Again, back to the senses...if you create a bed that keeps you too hot or too cold, that will interfere with your sleep. Keep a glass or bottle of water at your bedside, in case you awaken with that dry mouth and need for a drink. This way you don't have to get out of bed to get something to drink. Light soothing music or white noise machines for LOW (not blaring) background noise can be helpful. Try to avoid using TV as a background noise, as our brains are still working while asleep, and the things you hear from the TV could affect your anxiety levels and even dreams. Basically, sleeping with sounds of "The Chainsaw Massacre" in the background won't lead to happy thoughts. ;0) A warm bath or shower is great before bed...dry your hair. Never go to bed with wet hair. NOT comfy!
6. Ignore the urge to get out of bed. Even when you're feeling frustrated, try to remain in bed, reposition yourself, adjust your sheets, read a book if you are not falling asleep, but the more up and down you do, the harder it is to get and stay asleep it is. The same goes for nighttime awakening. If you DO fall asleep and wake up in the middle of the night, ignore the urge to get out of bed...again, reposition yourself, adjust the sheets, and try to go back to sleep. When you get up out of bed, you're waking yourself more. If you stay lying in bed, you are not as awake. If nature calls...go to the BR, and get right back to bed..no snacking, no smoke breaks (I'm bad at this...lol). Those things are murder for sleep. Get up...go potty, right back to bed.
7. When you DO manage to finally start on a consistent routine, you'll find things that help and hurt your sleep. Take note of them and adjust your regimen as needed. Sleep patterns will change, and life happens, so sometimes, adjustments need to be made. Consistency is TRULY the key..I cannot stress that enough.
8. Listen to your body. For a while, while your sleep is lousy, you will feel tired at odd times of the day. Your body is telling you it needs rest, so heed the wanring...take a nap. Lie down on the sofa, and catch a 1 hour (or less) nap. Don't nap for hours at a time, that will interfere with your nighttime sleep. An hour is the perfect amount of time for a refresher. Also, don't nap in bed. Once you're conditioned, your bed should be for nighttime sleeping only.
Hope these tips help some...I know these are the things I do that help me get some decent sleep. It's not always foolproof, but it works pretty well. Please be patient for a while too...your body is getting back to normal, and that takes some time. If you are going days without any sleep, definitely see your doctor. Sleep depivation is a whole other ballgame, it can be dangerous.
Two other things..I agree with the others about ditching the last couple daily Percocets, I think they could be making matters worse, definitely dragging the process out. Also, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE be VERY careful mixing a bunch of meds to try to get sleep. We had a poster here a few years ago that was doing the same thing...just seeking a few hours of sleep...and she took the wrong combo of meds (Rx AND things like Benadryl)....she OD'ed and died. It was very tragic.
If you haven't slept at ALL in days, then I would encourage you to talk to your doctor again. While I totally agree that it's best to let sleep return naturally, sleep deprivation where you go many days without sleep is dangerous and should be addressed.
VERY best to you...keep posting...I'm praying you get over the hump soon and get some sleep!!!