I'm ready to quit and I'm scared...

[june66]

I'm a 25 year old woman living in beautiful Miami and studying in the medical field. I have been using hydrocodone for about 5 months on a regular basis, before that for about 4 months only on the weekends. The past few months I have been having to use it daily in order to feel ok. I was never prescribed these pills and discovered them while working in a night club through other people. They made me "happier" and gave me more energy to work all night long.
I was taking about 60-180 mg a day. I have been tappering myself off the past week and am down to 20 mg a day.

The saddest thing is that I didn't know how addicting these things were. My "friend" who was selling them to me and put me on to them didn't say anything and I unfortunantly have been very sheltered when it comes to drugs. Last month I went out of town and didn't have any for several days. I was sad about it but didn't think anything of it. When I started running to the bathroom every 20 mins and having hot and cold flashes and restless leg syndrome I thought I caught the flu on the plane. When I told my other friend about it on my way to pick up some more pills, she asked me if I was going through withdrawal. How sad. It hit me like a brick wall. I realized then I was truely addicted.

I don't want this problem anymore! I don't have any desire to take them, I am only taking what little I am now to keep from being sick. Because I am down to such a low dose I wake up in the morning with slight withdrawal symptoms from sleeping all night without any. I take 7.5 mg to stave off the uncomfortable feeling and go about my day. I repeat this twice more throughout the day. I can't buy anymore because that's when I start using 60-180 mg a day just because I have them and want to get high.

I am starting the Thomas Program this week. I need suggestions, advice, support. Nobody knows about this problem, not even my boyfriend. I feel like a royal jerk for keeping this from him but I am determined to kick. Does anybody know how long and how bad my WD symptoms should last since I am down to about less than 30 mg a day?

Thanks,
June in Miami

[june66]

Thanks for the support. After posting last night I took a sleeping pill and went to bed instead of taking any more mg. I of course woke up at 6 am very uncomfortable and forced myself back to sleep. Now I'm up and have to go to school and the pain in my legs and feet is weird but not unbearable. I just feel DRAINED. I took 7 mgs to make it out of the house and to the store to get some L-Tyrosine and the rest of the supplements for the Thomas Detox.
I too am glad it hasn't progressed to me doing this for years. I had other friends warn me when they heard I was taking 'roxies' and unfortunantly I am hard headed and learn EVERYTHING the hard way. Luckily though I have a strong will and I WILL NEVER TOUCH THESE AGAIN. It is not worth it. Feeling high for a couple hours is not worth feeling like **** without them. I used to be hyper and upbeat and ready to conqour the world. This morning going downstairs for some orange juice I felt like a 90 year old woman. NOT WORTH IT!
When I am done with this drama in a week I vow to help anybody else who is abusing RX pills and ready for help. I can't believe I'm where I am now.... a junkie.
Thanks for your support guys, please keep it coming. After flopping back in bed and checking my email and seeing there were posts it def helped me and encouraged me in spite of wanting to curl up and die.

-June

[steveo30]

like the comment above,it's a good thing that you haven't gone years before realizing the addiction part that we all can't stand.i think it's amazing that in 1 week you've went from 60 to 180 mg's to 30,that can be quite uncomfortable but good for you.as far as how much longer you will have these ill feelings it's hard to say,i think you'll be fine,most people go through this for years,and it's progressive so it only gets worse,seeing that it's only been 6 months for you will make it much easier

[CleanUpTime]

Hey June, i was just in Miami this weekend!!!

Honeslty, most of the WDs will last between 3-5 days. Luckily for you, you've realized you have a problem in a few months rather than a few years...

I was on about 6 Vics a day, about 30 mg and i went CT and day 2-4 were tough but got a lot easier...

Heading off to the airport; i'll check back on you in a month...

Good luck and there are so many great people here that will help you....stay strong