I've been so hesitant to ask for opinions on this, but...

[Jacqui805]

Oh God, I can't believe I'm gonna do this....may sound trivial to some, but for me, with all that's happened to me regarding poor treatment, it's not.  A couple weeks ago, some of you may remember the "state" I was in.  I could not stand not sleeping anymore, along with the severe anxiety, all from the w/d.  I was right in the middle of switching docs., and the one I'm going to see, who's been actually helping me with my health issue, swears the one I did see is as much of a putz as I think she is, and has been negligent with me.  She sat on her butt all the while I was getting sicker and sicker, and now some of this damage may be permanent.  Anyway, here's the issue at hand..

She was my doc. at the time two weeks ago, although I had not seen her since '06 (she had me on the med.).  I called out of desperation to get some relief, and, she obliged, but had her nurse have me set up an appt. with her.  I made that appt. for two weeks from then, which falls tomorrow.  Like an axe, for me.  I'm petrified of her.  It's not a doc./pt. thing so much as it being pis*ed off at her, knowing she's not done o.k. by me, ignored problems that others docs. picked up, and wouldn't take their advice, or listen to me plead to send me to The Mayo Clinic.  I loathe her, and I am going to see a new doc. within two weeks.  I'm also afraid I will not be able to hide my contempt for her, and afraid of the venom I might spew.  Trouble is, I feel "obligated" to go for the one time visit because she prescribed me the "help" to get through the end of the w/d.  I've been counting down every day, and sweating out tomorrow.  I'm so embarrassed to be putting this here, but I am not sure what to do.  Fear can mess my thinking up in the worst way.  Any suggestions?

Jacqui

[Jacqui805]

Thanks.  I'm sweating it out big time.  The whole past four years have been traumatizing for me, and I'm just really freaked about her ignoring me when so much was right in front of her.  I suppose I'll probably wind up going if for no other reasons, than the fact that I do feel obligated, and I would sweat how to cancel.  I don't know, fear is a thick thing, my friend.

[feohmoon]

That's tough....obviously you are definately going.  I would say that normally things do not bother me...I have never been 'nervous' and I am thankful.  But...and I blame the methadone...when something upsetting happens now...I get jittery, butterflies in my stomach....my voice shakes uncontrollably.  If anything, my parents always said I 'should' be more nervous...Do others notice anything like this?  Do you feel that way...I will say a prayer for you hon and best of luck.
Sorry, that was no help at all was it?!  I can only empathize----

[mimi1313]

Hi Jacqui,

I wouldn't go unless you think you can tell her in a professional way how she mistreated you for lack of a better word. I think she does need to know how her actions or inactions have casued you both mental and physical harm. But if you tell her and you are yelling/crying you may not be taken seriously.

I also don't think you are obligated to go. Yes, she helped you that time. But what about all the damage.

Just my opinion. I do think it needs addressed, but maybe now isn't the time.

Best of luck and let me know what you do decide to do.

Melissa

[cathy5841]

well, i think you should go and explain to her you appreciate her prescibing the meds for your w/ds but you are getting a new doc and here is why...  just be honest about how you feel.  i think it will be theraputic for you too.  good luck and keep us posted
cathy