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[confused456]

Not sure if I have anything important to say, but I am gonna blab away anyways. I have come to realize more and more about myself in the past few weeks and I am not sure what to think about it all. Its day 19, and I just started a bunch of Aminos yesterday. Last night, I felt like dying. I still feel pretty crappy physically today, and now my lower back is KILLING me, but to be honest, I am pretty sure that is because it's time for my monthly "friend" to come for her weekly visit. That always causes back pain for me. I have been wanting to post about what I have learned about myself, but I am one big chicken-$h*t. Well, don't really know what else to say, so guess that's it.

[swtbreezie]

Hang in there I have had back pain for the last couple days too I think it is due to the weather and my friend left so wont be coming around. lol funny I never called her my friend (breezie is laffing)  thanks girl I needed this I am not laffing at you just at what you said.  I felt kinda crappy this morning to and you wonder is it all worth?  YES it is. STAY stong I know you can do it.    We are here if you need us!
hugzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
swtbreezie

[confused456]

This is from the day there was a LOT going on here, so I am bumping this to the top because it took a lot for me to write this and I feel it plays a big part in my recovery. Thanks.

[confused456]

Hello again. I folded and put away the laundry, and still doing more. YUCK! At least I'm gonna have clean bedding again!! My daughter came home crying so I had to hold her and talk to her about her "problem." I have learned several things. I am not proud with the things that I have learned and have been thinking of posting on it for about a week now, but haven't had the guts. I have learned that I have been lying to myself. I did not realize or want to realize the extent of my addiction. As I stated, I had never taken more pills than prescribed, but I would sell them when I needed money and then I would buy more when i ran out. Makes sense, right?!?! I realized when I had to buy them, I would lie to hubby, for instance, we both got 6 per day prescribed, but if I could only buy 8 pills to get through a day, I would tell him that I only got 6, and gave him 3, and kept 5 for myself. I also have realized that the pain I was taking them for is really there, and although it hurts bad, I can handle it without the pills. I was a big bit** while on them, and that is not like me. I have always been a person that speaks her mind and if u don't want the answer, don't ask me the question cuz I will tell u straight up! But, this was a different kind of bitchiness. I was also very depressed from them. I lied to get them. I was not a good person. So, that's part of what I have realized thus far.

[confused456]

I will enlighten ya all. I am currently on phone with Jacqui....be back soon.

[toxictome]

yes confused..enlighten us!!!  :D.
.isn't this a great learning process about ourselves??...
well...maybe NOT!! I have found that I don't necessarily LIKE everything about me....but if I embrace it...I can become a better person , change the things i don't like about myself,and do the next right thing!

Also..I think back pain hit me a couple of weeks out for about 3 days..an di remeber someon esaid tha tcan be from the wds....
Hang in there girl..

[flmagi]

Chocolate ice cream always helped my pms. Or chocolate and ice cream...lol
So what have you learned? Don't leave us in suspence.