Need Avice (addicton to Opiates)

[Krit722]

Hey everyone...Im new to all of this and found the site after I googled  
" how to get clean off of percocet" After reading some of these posts I think this may be a good start cause I surely need to vent and I am crying for help for the 1st time. Here it goes..My names Kristy and Im a serious opiate addict. It started about 2 years ago with a few dental procedures and soo forth. At first I had taken them as precribed and actually didnt even like them much. They had only made me feel wierd. To make a long story short, with time I began taking more and more and now I see no doctors at all but someone very close to me sees them and gets precribed an enormous amount of 10's, 30's and Oxy 80's. Im positive I left some out, I just dont keep track but even me as an addict knows its insane and the doctors are absolutely crooked to do so. Anyway my habit is now extreme. He gives me a total of about 5 80's a day when he has only them left, and Id say when he only has 30's I get approximately 20 a day and when he has 10's I am taking 3 or 4 at a time and with each pill I am taking them every 2 hours like clockwork. Depending on the pill or strength it varies the qauntity but still every 2 hours. My body is on like an internal clock, I dont even have to know the time and when it hits 2 hours after my last dose I start snapping, get moody, have crying fits, cant stop sniffling, get the chills etc. My life is controlled and consumed by these pills. Its at the point I know it has to stop, or I am gonna die. Its cause relationship problems and my marriage is about to fail. I also am a mother and so far I dont feel it has affected my ability to be a parent but I know thats coming. I literally cannot get out of bed if them pills arent close to my bedside with a drink. I have to swallow that first set of pills just to climb outta bed or I will stay there all day. I dont wanna stop, Im dreading it. I dont even like gettin high anymore, I just dont know any different and cant imagine life without it. Im a whole different person without them,IM Miserable without them and no1 wants to be around me but I cannot do this anymore. I need help, Im scared and I am killing myself. I need advice on how to get clean.Please any help or advice would be very much appreciated.Thankyou

[GoingToMakeIt]

What you are describing is typical of how this progresses. First it's fun, then you have to take them to perform every day tasks. Are you wanting to quit or just thinking about it?

[feelingcrazierbytheday]

do you have enough pills to taper youself? MOre importantly do you have the discipline and willpower and motivation to do so?

[GoingToMakeIt]

There are 3 ways to quit. Cold turkey. Tapering down slowly and Medical treatment, usually Suboxone. Quitting is the easy part. Staying clean is the hard part. Counseling or NA is highly recommended.

[Krit722]

At first yes I was just thinking about it but I am absolutely sure now I want to quit, I have too. Its gotten way outta hand. I have to do this for myself, my marriage and my daughter. In response to "feelingcrazierbytheday" I do have enough pills to taper myself off because they are given to me and I pay nothing for them.My husband is who gives them to me which makes the situation much worse, since he pays practically nothing for them because of insurance and he sells the remainder that I dont take and he makes huge profit. He wants me to quit and would be willing to do anything. Problem is he does them just not to extent I do but still he does them and I feel its gonna be extremely hard knowing that and fact that he has them around and even selling them for that matter. Thats something me and him have to discuss because I think that has to stop too although no matter how wrong it is basically being a drug dealer even though he's no like the typical drug dealer cuz he has a great corporate job and we'd be ok without him selling them, just we live a really good life and have all the material things we could possibly want.We are well off esp. for our ages. Its a tough thing, but at the same time I do feel I am soo determined to do this for myself and all the other reasons I need to quit that I could deal with him selling but I know I need him to stop using completely too. Maybe cause Im soo into this acciction most of that might not sound ration and if soo Id like to know. I just really need advice on what is the best method/way for me to kick this habit and be ok. What should I do. I def have the motivation and I hope willpower to do this. This is very important to me. I cant live like this anymore. My life is soo consumed. I just have no clue how to go about this. BTW I really appreciate the quick responses. Also what is the best way to go about the situation with my husband? cause fact is he's really enabling me and Im very much codependant on him.

[Krit722]

I def dont wanna do this cold turkey and I tried suboxone before and I just dont think that was for me. I think tapering down might be my best bet. I really feel I need counseling to do this. I need as much help as I can get.

[Krit722]

I def dont wanna do this cold turkey and I tried suboxone before and I just dont think that was for me. I think tapering down might be my best bet. I really feel I need counseling to do this. I need as much help as I can get.

[feelingcrazierbytheday]

methadone works if u take it for no more than 5 days at one 10mg pill a day.  the rest is cake. well...in comparison.  but if u do it for more than that........you'll wish u never had...so if your willing to get 5, AND ONLY 5 methadone.....take one every 24 hours.....it can be done.....or taper...i've tried both methods....methadone worked for me.  BUt than the next time i did it for 4 months and the withdrawls lasted 3 months....ouch...but when i did it for only 5 days at ONE PILL EVERY 24 HOURS....i had minmal withdrawls by the 6 day and was home free by day 10.  good luck on your endeavor

[GoingToMakeIt]

     If you are able taper, and stick to a schedule than that is a good route. Take it slow. Let your body adjust to each new level. If you are chewing or snorting the pills. That has to stop. With you taking several types of meds. This makes it hard. It would be best if you are on one type so that it will be easier for you to figure out an exact dose and taper. It is late and not too many are on right now. I am not real good with tapers.
     Ask again in the AM, if you don't get answered tonight. I will say that it is doable. The methadone thing might work. I am just not familiar with that route. I do know that  Methadone is horrible to get off of, but 5 days won't get you hooked. I would bounce this off of others too so you will have several opinions to make your decision from.                             Good luck and keep posting.
Welcome to the forum.

[Krit722]

thanks...that might just work out perfect. I actually have about 6 or so methadone in a pill bottle down stairs . I just never really wanted to give em a try cause of stuff I heard. I didnt wanna end up with a worse addiction. I will def give that a try

[Krit722]

Ill  try again in the morning but you have def helped a whole lot.I really appreciate all the advice and Im  gonna give the tapering off a shot along with the methadone. It's gonna be hard, of course but it's gotta be done. In the long run it will make me a better person and alot healthier. I have a whole life ahead of me that Im not willing to give up on for these pills. Anway thanks again. Im gonna try and get some sleep. Tomorrow Im gonna go at this again and see what others have to say too but Im pretty sure I got alot of good information tonight. Im gonna talk to the hubby after work tomorrow and get this plan into action. I wanna get myself mentally and physically better and this is what I gotta do. Have a good night guys!

[LQQKThrewU]

Yes PLEASE come back and good for you that you have the courage to take back your life. Many of us would not be as strong as you given the circumstances you are in. Good luck and welcome here. Hope to see you post in the AM.

[Yoda99]

Hi dear:
   I am so glad you joined us.  This is a great place to come for support, encouragement, and of course information.  I've been clean 11 months and I couldn't have done it without this forum.  I owe so much to the caring people here and to the ones that have left us.
   Stick with us.  We will walk you through it, if need be.
Good luck,
Yoda

[Krit722]

Hey Just thought I'd check in. Thanks soo much, You's have made me feel very at home here. I didnt think I'd come into this and actually feel so comfortable sharing and asking for help...but you have all def. made this soo easy. I plan to start the tapering down tomorrow morning. My husband won't be home till 6 and thats when I'll get to talk to him about this. He has no idea I even wanna quit yet. I figure tomorrow morning is the best time to start this, wake up in the morning and get this plan in action. Im a lil scared but I know it'll be ok. Im gonna be on here through the all thing and Im gonna give insurance a call most likely today and find a counselor close by and make my 1st appontment. I have done soo much damage to my life that I absolutely need it.If I don't do this right and full force I know it's not gonna work and I refuse to give into this addiction any longer. As someone said to me earlier, It's time to take my life back. I have no life anymore outside of drugs. I already cut down slightly..instead of 4 10's at one time (which has been twice today) I took 2 10's. I figure it's a start, hopefully kick starting me into a new mind frame. Ill be checking back in later w/ all of you after the talk and let yous know how that went.
Yous have all been wonderful :)

[Krit722]

Does anyone have any good advice or could give me like a type of schedule to go by when it comes to tapering off??? I think this is where my problem comes in because I dont know where to begin with that. Like I said in my first post, I take them like clockwork every 2 hrs. If Im taken 10s which is for the most part what I take, I take about 3-4 10's (usually schoolbuses) every 2 hours  and I wake up about 8 and I absolutely never get to bed b4 3:30-4 am so I usually take about 20 10's a day.Majority of the time I cant even wait the 2 hours and end up throwing a crying fit and flip out and my husband gives in and gives me more so they end up being more frequent. If Im taken the 30's which is only for about a few days outta the month, I take 1-2 every 2 hours and If Im taking the oxy 80's I take about 4 80's a day(give or take) Im planning on sticking with the 10's for tapering off.  I figure that would be easiest method. I just need some time of plan/ schedule cause right now I dont have a plan but to get clean really. I dont know how to taper off. Anyone who can seriously help me with this Id appreciate it. Im talkin to my husband tonight like I said earlier and Id like to have some kind of plan so he takes this serious and tomorrow when I wake up I know what to do. :) :) :)

[toxictome]

Welcome. Glad you're here. There are a lot of people here to help you.I would taper at least down to a lower amt, then you could ct. As far as the long run, I think your hubby needs to cut clean too. The temptation will bee too great knowing they are around. You say he has a great job and you have nice things....but the tricky thing here is after a time something happens and we start to lose it all....and obviously, dealing drugs is illegal..so we hav eto work on doing the next right thing. I'm not trying to be insensitive, this is how it works...everything is great, and then all of a sudden it's all slipping away....be open to this before you guys hit bottom......Good luck
Keep Posting.

[traveladdict]

You will need allot of desire to get off the pills when you make the jump.  You also need to tell yourself it wont be discomfort free. First calculate the daily dose and cut back  a 1/2 pill per dose and extend your time between doses.  Your husband will need to hold the pills and not give in to you whining/crying. When you are ready and committed you can do it but not before.

[Krit722]

I totally agree (toxictome) It absolutely cant last forever. Ive really been supportive of it because we have just moved and all sooo financially its of huge help...but it cant always go on. Its not worth him going to jail one day, or losing what we have esp his job. I especially agree that he needs to do this with me because if not, I dont know how this could work with them being around esp when I know they are there and Im watching him meet people and I know he's still taking them. Im sure he'll say Ill keep them outta the house and I won't take them and everything else but Im ready for all them responses. None of that will work. In the house or not they are still there and I know it cause Im an addict and either way its not gonna be acceptable, and Id almost be willing to drug test him because he should get clean not only for himself but for me too. Thats what you do when you love someone. BTW thats huge part of what this talk was Im planning on having with him when he gets home from work tonight. Hes the one enabling me, Hes the one Im dependant on and most of all Hes GIVING me the drugs. Its sooo much easier to get high when you get them for free soo he is my target right now. I have to get to him 1st then work on myself. He and I have to be in this together and work as a team. I think he'll totally support the idea and will do what he has to do but ya never know.Thats when I have to make some decisions if he doesnt. I will def be on right after I talk to him about all this and update everyone.Thanks

(traveladdict) That sounds like a great plan and thats what Im gonna do. I can def do this. I will make sure that he understands how serious I am about this and to only give me what is planned to taper me off and than thats it .They just need to be gone after that. My biggest fear is how he handles all this while its going on. I hope he is there to comfort me and help me through this cause I know its gonna be extremely uncomfrotable and difficult...and he needs to do this without giving in. I know he tends to do that so thats why Im gonna make it very clear to him that no matter how much Im freaking out and in pain or whatever the case may be HE Has to be strong for the both of us at that point and SAY NO. Im very much ready to do this and committed to taking back control of my life and kicking this addiction. I will be on here every day of this and Judging by the help,support and advice I have been getting soo far I think Im gonna do just fine.  This is exactly what I need...and I found it in this forum.

[GoingToMakeIt]

Krit, good morning. (West coast guy PST) It sounds like you are getting the info you need. If you are at all in doubt about what to do. Make sure you ask! When we are on these drugs the mind is so foggy sometimes. Again welcome to the forum and Good Luck. Keep posting, it really helps when you are going through it.

[kimmiek]

If you post this as a new post asking about how to taper, you will probably get lots more help,  Ive see quite a few people on here that have made up schedules on how to do a successful taper.  Give it a try.  I bet youll get more responses.  Title it "trying to taper how do I" or something like that. Please get some more advise from the people here that have been where you are BEFORE you try the methadone.  Im not sure but you may be getting ready to jump from the frying pan to the fire with that stuff?  Ask people.  Start a new thread?  

[toxictome]

make sure you post l;ater and let us know how it went.,.then we'll go from there.      good luck!

[Greatgreebo]

Do NOT use the methadone!!!  We can taper you are serious. You are already an addict, don't mess with an even worse drug to get off the oxys.......As for a taper schedule, we can get you one. avisg is a miracle worker when it comes to making schedules. I will have her PM you.

Read...this will give you a starting point:

Time for some technical talk... One of the things which increases "dependence" is a spike in drug blood plasma levels. Addicts do this on purpose to get a "high". They do it by Snorting (Very fast delivery), IV Injections, Chewing up meds and taking on an empty stomach.

The above all produce the most amount of drug in the blood in an attempt to get a buzz. These spikes are one of the reasons we addicts get hooked faster than a COMPLIANT Chronic Pain Patient.

Being compliant means they take only as directed. The goal of compliance is to maintain an even blood plasma at the minimum amount to treat PAIN and NOT to produce euphoria (a high).

Since the blood plasma levels are lower, the levels of dopamine at the synaptic cleft do not spike so the receptor sites do not downregulate or decrease in number in response to the initially MUCH higher level of dopamine released as a result of spiking.

Addictive dosing behaviors, the large doses associated to Spike the blood plasma level, vs the lower low dosing and more often which is the KEY factor to the physical changes the brain makes which cause dependency.

Dependency is the actual physical changes to your body which cause withdrawal. Addiction is the BEHAVIOR of taking the drugs to get high, not as prescribed, and when not needed for clinical reasons. It is the un-manageable behaviors associated with lack of control.

Which comes first... Dependence or addiction? Usually it's addiction, but it can be the other way, but the key issue which causes the progression of addiction are the behaviors.

Addiction is what makes you take more and more, spiking doses, etc. This in turn increases dependence. The higher your dependence the higher the tollerance... Round and round you go. The addiction merry-go-round.

How to break the cycle? The only way is to change the behavior. That is a very difficult thing. Pain is usually a very good motivator. So is Euphoria. When the pain out weighs the euphoria one starts to consider breaking the cycle. Unfortunately the pain being eliminated by the drug is a driving force. Then the addict associated the RELIEF of th pain to the drug instead of the drug being the CAUSE of the pain.

SOoooooooo what to do? Break the cycle.

Many have to hit bottom to do that. That's the point where the pain of using overwhelms the relief of using. It's an emotional point which is different for different people. Not every one has to hit a bottom to quit. The sooner you quit the less pain and suffering you have to experience.

For folks who are on smaller doses and their disease has not progressed very far, they have not felt the extent of pain addiction can cause. Only conceptualizing how bad it can get may not be good enough to motivate a person early in addiction to quit.

Intellectually we know what lays ahead. We hear the truth from others, but yet we continue to use. It is not until we get a glimpse of the pain that lays ahead do we become to believe we need to quit. One HAS to believe that in fact addiction does lead to the loss of everything and eventually Jails Institutions and Death.

Addiction is a lot easier to nip in the bud physically but maybe not emotionally because one has not experienced the pain first hand. Some need more pain than others to quit. Some don't make it and end up end stage and their addiction wins.

If you want to get off of the pills you have to change your behavior.

1) STOP SNORTING your pills!
2) Stop spiking your dose!
3) stop taking enough to get high

You will never quit until you do that. Weather you can or not is up to you.

You have to come to a point where you make the decision you want to quit. The en you have to make a plan then you have to execute that plan. SIMPLE .... but not easy.

The solution from a clinical point of view for you at your point of addiction is so easy. A simple taper, and change the behavior. In short break the cycle.

How to do a taper is easy. Changing the behavior is the HARD part, but you have to want to change.

If you are taking 6 pills a day... then start taking them in even doses and don't take like 3-4 at a time. 24 hrs divided by 6 = 4 hrs. So only take one pill every 4 hrs. Then take 5 pills in 24 hrs. That's 4.8 hrs. Then 4 pills a day... break pills into 1/2's so you have 8 1/2 pills. and take 1/2 a pill every 3 hrs. Etc.

If you can't stick to a taper give the pills to a friend to dispense.

Mean while .. you have to start changing the way you think and the things you do... You should educate yourself... Good place to do all of that is NA or AA. It's FREE and takes up time. It forces you to be doing something other than sitting around with nothing to do and just thinking about using.

It's not the only way, but it's a good place to start. Take what you need from it, and leave the rest.

If you take the same amount or less every day and don't spike your dose you will eventually quit.

30 mg of Hydro can be tapered to 0 in 2-4 weeks painlessly. The PAWS will be minimal too.

The ball is in your court. We can not make you do anything. Only YOU can.

When you are ready is up to you. If you need to stay "out there" using and see for yourself how bad it will get that's up to you.

My recommendation.. Start to QUIT now! It will be a whole lot easier.

[ouchiex]

My biggest advice for tapering is to plan the whole thing in advance on paper. Once I knew I was getting a couple of weeks away from the bottom of the pill bottle, I wrote out a journal with the day, the amount of pills I would take that day, and the amount of pills that would leave me with (like a spreadsheet with 3 columns, all of which were important and helpful) and that way you will know exactly when it will be over, it can ease some fear AND most importantly, you have something to stick to. Its just too easy in the moment to think: dang, let me just take one, I'll pay later, but that's OK. I would try to tell myself: if i don't take one now, its like a gift to my future self, but that didn't work. It took me writing it down and checking every day to make sure that the third column, the one with how many pills are left was correct every single day. Keeps you accurate and truthful with yourself.

[Krit722]

Wow, That was very amazing advice and reading some of that really touched me cause I know its that serious. I want to taper off. I wanna do it right  so I can get clean. My husbands on his way home so I will be updating you on that but for now Im gonna leave saying this, I absolutely adore all of you who have posted. This is a great place and I feel safe here...I will be here every SINGLE day of tapering off and so forth. Im looking forward to going through this together with alot of you because yous are what is gonna keep me sane. (greatgreebo) I'm all for that. Im looking foraward to hearing from your friend and gettin started. Every bit of what you posted about the addict, was like you were talking firsthand bout me soo It just reassures me that Im doing the right thing. thanks...

[hopsing94]

You have made the first step and good for you. You are doing the right thing and yes this place will help you. I know it will be hard but if you really really want this(wich it sounds like u do) it will happen. Only you can make it happen. Desire,discipline and determination. The killer d's will get you through. We are here for ya.