hi all

[dede2121]

It's federal again. I have been reading for quite awhile now and finally got the courage to post again. I am still struggling. Now what i don't understand is my need to take 3 to 4 pills a week. Yes I said a week. I can't seem to let go. I am fine when I take them but when I don't have them I am really depressed. I refuse to leave my house except to work. I have shut myself off from everyone except when I have to. I don't want to be around anyone or anything. I don't know what is wrong with me. Anyone have any suggestions for me?

[dede2121]

So glad u are here Bob. I have thought of I often. I have been reading on here for awhile just not writing. I want so much to be rid of this addiction. And the depression. I know it's a fight to stay clean. I don't know why I am so weak. Thanks to all that post. All encouraging words.
.

[Bocephus_]

dede, I should also mention that I also dealt with severe depression and bi-polar for my life which drove me to self-medicate with alcohol and another drug that rhymes with "moecaine."  I tried many different SNRIs and SSRIs until I was about to give up and just be depressed and half a person. The last drug I tried did the trick. Everyone around me said that they could see a difference in me, my voice, and my balance. Its been a while since my last major episode, but i do remember how desperate it is. I thought about suicide countless times, but always had just enough coward in me to prevent something regrettable. I had a couple injuries degenerated my disks and eventually went on oxycodone. Big mistake, I should have known that my addiction was waiting beneath the surface for an opportunity to pounce! Its the Dopamine Addiction Hypothesis, check in to it of you have not already. If you see a psychiatrist for the depression, you can absolutely live a normal life, and it can reduce your psychological and physical need for narcotics. God Bless You.......You are back with the right group.

[Bocephus_]

dede, I have great hair too, just not much on my head anymore.....uggh, I take Lexapro for that. I also keep finding, errant, ultra-long strands of hair, like growing out of my earlobe, or lip or some crazy place. Life's crazy huh?.....thank God we others to share in the misery, and eventually for you, joy as well  :)

[dede2121]

Bob I was so hoping to hear from u. U always make me feel better. I guess I am just having a hard time dealing with things in my life and instead of facing them I turn to a pill. O actually have only taken 1this past week. I promise I will not take any today. It is really good to talk to people on here. I will write more later. I am watching my grandson and didn't get much sleep last night. Thanks to all who responded. It means alot to me

[dede2121]

Oh and bama u have me figured out. I have great hair, have been told by many I am an awesome cook and I really am a pro at crossword puzzles. LOL. Spooky how u know these things.

[LeaAnn807]

Hey dede I just saw this!  You for SURE need to talk to a doc.  You're missing out on happiness with how you're living!  And that 3/4 a week WILL turn into more.  We both know that!  It may stay that way awhile.  I'm not saying that it's impossible to do it, but not probable with addicts!