what a hard day

[bama88]

Today was my first true day of detox I'm not going to call it withdrawals. Withdraws are when your out and waiting for that next pill. I don't know how I made it but I did. I even watched my husband take four tabs a soma and a morphine.  That was so hard. If hills pills 'would of accident fell in.my mouth'. I would have sighed in delight. But nope I stuck it out.  It has been a rollercoaster of.emotions with the toilet the star of the day. Imodium didn't work for me. But I did have to take a benzo to calm my nerves. I was so mean..bouncing around like a pinball and wow my bones hurt. I even managed to work on.cleaning my room. I haven't done that in months. I haven't ever been one day clean in over five years. Thanks for giving me strength to do this.

[ricart70]

Hang in there and don't cave.It will get better.Watch out on taking too many valiums.You can do this.I know it's hard

[bama88]

I broke down and took three valuims. I loath valuim. I'm all tired from the mall. It was not fun. Thank god my daughter wanted to leave that place. I hear you Jackryan. This is so hard. I want my meds back. I don't know of I have the courage to continue. I feel like jumping out of my skin. And to make matters worst my knees are really hurting. If I was a racehorse they'd just shoot me and put me out of misery. I think I'm gonna cave in to the pain. When will this end.

[JackRyan222]

Well if its any consolation, that at least makes 2 of us.  In fact, I could use some Immodium, at the rate I'm visiting the mens room.  I feel like I've been runover by a train, then grabbed back up, and run BACK OVER by the same train AGAIN.  I've got Klonopin via MD which I have to admit I've taken one more this morning just to try (key word "try") and calm myself.  I'm maybe....36 hours? (+/-) clean....and feel tired yet nervous and jumpy, fatigued yet jittery, sad and melancholy....in fact, I realy wish I could just ball my eyes out, I know that has helped me in the past.  But I can never push myself into full-blown weeping like a baby....feels like trying to push a non-self-propelled lawnmover over the top of a steep hill....if I could JUST get it over the top...

Hopefully this'll help

[vicpic]

By the way you should be proud of yourself...Here you are going through this pain and still offering words of advice to me and others. You are a good person and stronger than you realize...Stronger than me, If I saw my husband taking them in front of me I think I would have caved.. Don't beat yourself up to hard about the Soma. You are only human...Cold turkey is tough... The best of luck to you... ;)

[bama88]

Wish me luck. I've taken lots and lots of Imodium and now I've got to take my daughter to the mall. What was I thinking yesterday when I told.her yes wed go. I'm scarred ill nuke the toilets at the mall.....hahahaha run people run.....t

[bama88]

I know about the sleeping pill trick but it doesn't work. I tried that one before lol. Took ambience in twice the amount. It did not work.