Have i got a problem w/alcohol-part 2

[ibizan]

there is no such thing as can't quit....its just not ready too.... and won't quit!

[dominosarah]

Definition of insanity......Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different outcome.

We dont let anyone rot in here.  You are not a failure to us.  We know where you are coming from as we have all been there.  It is up to you now to make a change, you can do it....sara

[more0then0a0virus]

Thank you 4 sharing... It`s great you have earned everything back. It`s nice to hear something like that and that being happy is possible, without alcohol...

I guess I`m not completely ready to quit. But I´ll force myself somehow to be ready. I´ll make it work... I can do it.

Good luck...

[Punkinhead75]

Hi there.  I wouldn't say we were stronger than you when we stopped.  It may seem that way but for me I don't think that is true.  I drank and smoked pot and did a lot speed.  My friends and family tried talking to me about it and I just wouldn't budge.  I had my reasons and they were completely justified and righteous, at least in my own head.  I still had a few things I was placing ahead of getting cleaned up.  I knew I was in bad shape and needed to stop, however I wasn't yet willing to do what was necessary to stop.  Therefore I still drank and drugged.

In a short period of time my friends stopped coming by and my family stopped calling.  I only found out later that they couldn't stand by and watch me continue to poison myself.  They also knew from past experience that they couldn't tell me what to do either.  I would just rebel.  I later learned that that rebeliousness tends to be an alcoholic trait that many of us possess.  Anyway,  I got so out of control that I almost killed my wife and decided to leave.  Thinking only of her safety I packed my things and left.  Looking back I realize that I could have gotten cleaned up and things would have improved.  Turns out I chose to continue drinking and drugging instead of staying together.  Again, at the time I thought I was doing the right thing.

With a truck full of stuff I wanted to keep I went to my parents house and asked if I could stay there and I explained what had happened.  I opened up and told them everything that was going on.  Turns out there was a lot they didn't know about.  They asked what I wanted to do.  I still wasn't sure what to do but knew things needed to change.  They had a friend in AA and we met.  He took me to meet another guy and we went to a mtg.  Since then things have gotten better.  My wife and I are back together and doing well.

At the time I was going through it I just couldn't see.  Looking back now however I can see that all the stuff I put before getting cleaned up I had to lose.  When I became willing to put sobriety first, I became blessed with being sober and get my family, friends and wife back.  The only thing I have to do is be willing to listen to others and do what they say is the right thing in regards to getting cleaned up.

I agree with Ibizan about the not can't quit, it's just not ready to.  The question I have to keep in mind is how bad does it have to get before I'm willing to do what is necessary to change.  Whenever someone makes a suggestion and I find a way to say "no" to that suggestion I am choosing to feed my disease instead of recover from it.

God Bless!!!

[more0then0a0virus]

My friend have just said to me I will have some ups and downs and that`s normal, but the most important thing is not to give up. She said I`m making progress when she compares amount of alcohol in last 11 days with how often I used to drink. Now I`m ready for new, and I hope longer period of not drinking.

[more0then0a0virus]

I don`t expect from him to stop. He has got a right to drink. It’s his life. I`ve never had boundaries. I’m against that. And I don`t want him to stop drinking. That`s his life. If he wants to drink, he should. He doesn`t harm anyone...

And I was alone yesterday. At home. That`s why my parents didn`t realized. They don`t check me while I`m at home. So it can`t be his fault. It`s mine. Just like everything else...

[more0then0a0virus]

I don`t deserve your help. You should leave me to rot in here... I`m fu**ing failure...