My son gave a key to a stranger to me. Now I'm crazy.

[Joxjo]

My son gave a key to a stranger to me and now because I disprove of that, he says I'm crazy. My son gave the key to my property to a girl and her family that he had a baby with, yes my first grandson, whom I'm not allowed to see, (they did the same thing with the first child she had by another father), who have constantly talked dirt about me, even though I barely know them, and have been nice to them up until now, who talked my son into tearing apart my trailer and helped him do it under the guise of helping him make it better for him to live in, but left after the whole place was ripped apart including walls and wiring.

My son said that the couches he brought in where his, but, they said that they belonged to them, which I am believing at this point. My son said he was going to the property to get the couches out, I said fine, but I told him that these people where not allowed back on the property, because of their behavior and how my trailer was trashed to the point I can't rent it and most likely have to junk it. He said ok, than, gave my key to these people whom entered the property with my knowledge nor my permission and got their couch. With out my son being there, and with out me being notified so I could supervise. A complete lack of respect for his mom, but also I still have belongings there, I don't know if they took anything else yet. As I am disabled and today is one of those days that I shouldn't drive.

Anyways I called my son and requested my key back tonight after he gets off work, and at that point told him it was irresponsible, and disrespectful to me about having practical strangers to me, whom have only caused harm to my family and property, to give them a key after I requested that he didn't have them on the property, and to top it off, he wasn't even there to supervise. And no he doesn't live there and never have, except when we lived there as a family.

In response, he is calling me crazy, and stupid, and telling me that is the reason that I can't see my grandchild, and why he doesn't like me, and why they don't like me, hmmm, but it doesn't matter that at this point I don't like them, and of course I am crazy because I don't like this gang of people that my son has attached himself to.

and yes I am cutting myself off from my son at this point because I can't take the abuse.
I don't think that me being bothered by what happened is an act of craziness, though my son insists that I am crazy and has no problem tell all of society in this tiny town that this is so, maybe I'm old school and that kind of behavior is ok now a days and I'm just not "with it". Have things change that much over night, that what I consider a normal response to a strange situation, is actually a crazy response?

Anyways I want some opinions, my son is 23 now, and he does not live with me, because he is verbally and physically abusive, he also thinks that I should give him the property for free, even though I have minimum income and may need it for an emergency (and he makes way more than I do, and will after he is out of college).. which included if he needed a rent free home until he got on his feet (but, obviously, that won't happen now.) I do consider that he may be bi-polar and have been hospitalized in the past. I have been told that he calls me crazy as a way to push off onto me what is going on with him.

but at the same time, I don't play the social games and can be irritating to people that expect a predetermined response from and don't get it. So in all fairness I may be crazy. But I've always thought that was our right to decide what kind of person that we will be, and if that includes not being purposely manipulative, liar, etc. and going along with the crowd was still as healthy of a decision as deciding to be such a person.

Basically my personality is a gentle one until you get my tail feathers bunched up, but, even then, I still try to get along. I do suffer from PTSSD from past abuse, and this is making it come out some, making me shake.

ugh! I do now feel crazy, but please, give me your opinion, as whether you would be bothered by your sons reactions too, or am I just going crazy?

[Joxjo]

Yes, that is what will end up happening, he and his new people, trashed the trailer, it's not rent-able without $$ or hard labor, which neither I have, right now 1/2 of the property is being used by me and the community for a canning garden so the property isn't totally wasted, taxes are about $13 a month, home grown organic food is priceless. So upkeep isn't a burden.

It's just the way my son treats me, that digs so deep, the disrespect, everyone owes him something, I know, I know... I raised him, but, those things I did not teach him. And as far as the "bone of contention" it would be something else if the property wasn't there. Right now he is saying I kept his belongings hostage... because he left some of them at my home, and though he came and went he never took all them with him. His room was untouched, I didn't throw anything away nor did I deny him access. In fact he knows where the hide a key is. I just ask him to make sure I am home, because the couple of times that I wasn't, he busted the doors and furniture and never replaced or fixed them, even busted out a main wall as so now the house built in the 80's is now caving in.

I guess I'm mostly worried for him, I'm heart broken to be trashed so bad, but I'm 100 times more broken because it seems like he is tortured daily with ridiculous thoughts and explosive anger. (he does such things everywhere he lives, not just at moms)

It seems he is going to have a very hard life, if he doesn't get straightened out or get medicated. And I know that I can't be part of his life,  because I can't take his behavior anymore.

[AnnieBrooke]

I'd sell the property and the trailer as it is, and put the money in an account with your name on it, and your name only, and move on.  It really doesn't matter who did what to whom as much as it does that you stop being in his power to drive you nuts.  If the property is sitting there unused, get rid of it.  Bone of contention gone.  A good thing.