i feel like im loosing my mind. i BEG of you to reply. HELP!

[dlin420]

okay... so basically ive been lurking around the forum for some time now and i really feel like now is the time to find out whats going on. im so scared and anxious and i feel like im on the edge at all times. this is going to be pretty long but PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE finish reading it and anyone who can help i will be SO appreciative... so im 21 male and ever since 8th grade i was diagnosed with ADHD and depression. my doctor at that time put me on zoloft/concerta/stratera and another medicine that was supposed to help. i took the medicine for about 2-3 years and then one day realized that i didnt need/want to take them anymore because i felt i was "normal." once i stop taking my medicine i began to self medicate myself with marijuana. For the next 2-3 years i smoked daily and very heavily. i noticed that for some reason the weed made me calm and i started doing better in school and got along better with people. so i kept at it even though i noticed i began to see things differently and was always very anxious and had several panic attacks. but i smoked through it and eventually it went away.. recently i just finished my 2-year college and got accepted to a university. To celebrate couple buddies and i decided to try extacy. i took 1.5 and then another .5 and had a great experience. However, the day after i felt empty headedd and confused and for some reason ended up with another panic attack and was rushed to the E.R. the hospital did blood and urine tests and found nothing out of the ordinary... at that time my mind was more clear and i felt decent. however the following day i the stomach flu and for the next week i was nauseus/diarreah/dizzy/weak and the whole time i was worried that it was the extacy that did it to me. i was CONVINCED that i had made my self retarded by taking those pills. Finally after about a week into the flu, i got better....... This is when things started to get scary for me.... one day as i was driving my girlfriend to a store i realized that my perception of vision changed... i looked at these bushes and for some reason it was different than how i usually seen them. this scared the sh!t out of me and i went home right away and started googling my symptoms... what i found was depersonalization/derealization and i believe that i have that.... i started to feel scared and cold...from that day on.. i QUIT SMOKING WEED AND DRINKING. in the beginning i thought that it could be the withdrawal symptoms of marijuana but it still hasnt gotten better and its been 3 week. For the next 2 weeks i had panic attacks (controllable) through out the day. s. i would start breathing extremely fast/sweat profusely/was unable to swallow my spit/got chills and heat flashes/ and had the WORSE sense of ultimate DOOM i felt i was going CRAZY, INSANE, LOCO! .... i googled those symptoms and thought that i had panic disorder or GAD but i didnt fit all the symptoms... eventually i got around to going back to the doctor (psychiatrist) and he told me he thought that it was just my depression and my anxiety kicking back in. he suspected maybe it was symptoms of bipolar but no one in my family has that... i dont hear voices, see hallicination, think people are after me... so the doctor put me on 50mg zoloft and 25mg seroquel. First night with seroquel i had the CRAZIEST dreams as if i was awake in them but the whole time i was knocked out!!!.... then second day i felt like i was on extacy... i felt my eyes were wide open/griding my teeth/ dry mouth/ hard time swallowing my spit/ and my feet/hands sweat SOOOO much and i have this wierd taste in my mouth everytime i breathe out. 3rd day... which is today, i woke up feeling fine... and was googling side effects of the medicine and found so many negative effects and started to freak out...ive been feeling like a zombie, like my brain is dead and that i was just born today... the past is a blur and i see no future for myself only doom and life in a mental hospital.... i dont feel so much depersonalized as just weird now and whenever i look around things arnt 2-D but it seems hazy and feels like im still stuck in a dream that i cant get out of....please i know this was long but someone please help me and let me know whats going on.. im terrified and if this goes on... i rather just jump off a building than live like this... im starting to not trust my doctor and i second guess every move i take.. please.. thank you for any comments...

- Scared to go Crazy

[Bsocal]

You worded everything iv thought of perfectly, i was diagnosed with ADHD when i was little and used to take abunch of pills for it, when i was 15 i discovered weed made me calm, but for the first 3-4 months of smoking id trip alot when i was around people and trip harder when i was alone, my feet and hands got weak, nd id have bad panic attacks. after that period i'd smoke weed everyday for about a year, then i got heavy on ecstasy and coke, adter about 6 months of taking ecstasy maybe about 3-4 times a week, sometimes 5 days ina row with about 1-2 pills, maybe 4-5 at a rave. Then i made the worse decision in my life and tried meth, i started smoking everyday and by everyday i mean EVERYDAY, gettin sleep rarely staying out all night, after 8 hard months of that which every moment i was disappointed with my life, i slowly started stopping, to which point i cut off every friend that smoked it off, the only thing i could do to stop. i stopped for 2 months then 1 of my old buddies hit me up and started again for 4 days, i then realized it was bullsh*t how he did that to me nd stopped, im now 2 weeks clean, but everytime i smoke weed, same thing happens to me except worse, my feet get huge lumps on them, and i think and analyze everything to much and im real quite. My family always thinks im tripping but I think something is wrong, not sure but the best thing for me to do is stop everything all together. Idk if this helps, but it helps me telling my story sometimes

[Bsocal]

You worded everything iv thought of perfectly, i was diagnosed with ADHD when i was little and used to take abunch of pills for it, when i was 15 i discovered weed made me calm, but for the first 3-4 months of smoking id trip alot when i was around people and trip harder when i was alone, my feet and hands got weak, nd id have bad panic attacks. after that period i'd smoke weed everyday for about a year, then i got heavy on ecstasy and coke, adter about 6 months of taking ecstasy maybe about 3-4 times a week, sometimes 5 days ina row with about 1-2 pills, maybe 4-5 at a rave. Then i made the worse decision in my life and tried meth, i started smoking everyday and by everyday i mean EVERYDAY, gettin sleep rarely staying out all night, after 8 hard months of that which every moment i was disappointed with my life, i slowly started stopping, to which point i cut off every friend that smoked it off, the only thing i could do to stop. i stopped for 2 months then 1 of my old buddies hit me up and started again for 4 days, i then realized it was bullsh*t how he did that to me nd stopped, im now 2 weeks clean, but everytime i smoke weed, same thing happens to me except worse, my feet get huge lumps on them, and i think and analyze everything to much and im real quite. My family always thinks im tripping but I think something is wrong, not sure but the best thing for me to do is stop everything all together. Idk if this helps, but it helps me telling my story sometimes

[Norman12345]

i feel the same..am 22yrs old i started smoking alot of marjuana for the past year, and snorted cocaine one off...and used to drink...i come off marjuana and for the past 3 weeks i aint been feeling right..at 1st when it started happening i was sitting down and suddenly my head started feeling heavy, my vision started going blury, felt like im going to pass out, my face started feeling hot, and forehead started sweating...and then i was alright and few days later it happend again..and 1-2 days later it happend again but it had a longer affect on me and sincelast 2 days it happend again it feel like my heads so head from bothe sides and its going to explode and i cant think straight and i went hospital last thursday they said go to your doctor, i went to my doctor friday he goes come for a blood test on tuesday and sunday night i feeling that it, its the end of me..and i called ambulance and they only check blood pressure and sugar level and if your breathing alright... it can be a swere problem which they might not know about, they dont bother...and today my heads been feeling like some1s squashing it from bothe sides, can any1 please help..am bit worried myself...would appreciate it..i cant hack it no more =-(  norman_khan***@****

[Merciey]

It amazes me how younger people think doing drugs is going to straighten their lives out and how getting expert advice from a psychiatrist will mess it up. Work the meds out with your MD (Psych.) and try to get your life back on a good track.

[RichReligion]

Take your frustrations out on a heavy bag or some weights, maybe a jump rope. Stop caring so much about things you cant change. I find myself dwelling on nothingness all day: negativity...and it does hurt...it hurts that i'm stuck on some bs when everyone else is moving on with their lives...it feels like one giant conspiracy against me and I dont like to be played by no one...so my ego is trippin. But when I get in the "i dont give a shi* mode I win. try not giving a shi*...just be the best at what you could do...conquor everything within your reach.

[afraid620]

Hey I just joined and was reading your symptoms and all the help and advice people are giving you maybe you could read my post and we could share advice!