I CAN'T LIVE LIKE THIS!! IM CONSIDERING SUICIDE!!!

[wostar]

hi, i am really really at my lowest today i just do not know what to do anymore, it is so bad that have sat here for the last hour thinking of ways to end it all. In may 2008 i had an unprotected one night stand with a bisexual male that sleeps around alot, i also found out later that i had chlamydia at the time of exposure. We had sex for about 5 minutes and he ejaculated inside of me. I had no symptoms at all and felt completely healthy untill september/october that year my symptoms where:

flu like symptoms
headach
very severe joint pain in the knees and elbows
sore throat

when the other symptoms dissapeared i was left with bad pain in both of my knees, the hurt to this very day (almost 2 years on) they are worse when i am restin and eased by exercise. however i have started to get even more symptoms and i am now experiencing

bad fatigue
white fingernails with a small band of normal colour at the top
Still have the knee pain
reccurent mouth ulcers (i have a huge one today)
the other day i woke up and my tongue was grey at the back and still is now.

I am in a complete mess i have a 8 month old baby who has the same fingernails as me (they are also white!) i have a violent bf so i can no way talk to him at all, he would flip. I am severely phobic of any type of needles (pins) i cant even look at a photo of them with out feeling faint so i cant test. The only thing keeping me here at the moment is my son or else i would have ended it already, but i am seriously starting to think he is better of without me as a mother anymore. PLEASE PLEASE help me this is my last resort, i have absoloutley NO ONE to talk to at all about this!

[wostar]

the reason i am so worried is, because it has to be infectious as my son developed exactly the same nails as i have a few months ago. thanks i already feel much better thanks to your advice.

[Rob73!]

Can I ask why you are worried about your fingernails? The biggest problem we have in this forum is people who google "HIV Symptoms" and get a million and one symptoms. Normally these symptoms are related to end stage HIV illness, what would normally be called AIDS. The timeframe you have posted from your single unprotected encounter and now you would be asymptomatic, ie; no sypmtoms at all.

Get the test done and know your staus. It's the only way you will be able to move forward with your life.

[wostar]

yes i was tested and treated for chlamidia, but my nails are very noticable they are bright white and so are my sons, im only 18 so it cant be an age thing as im still young. thankyou.

[Rob73!]

As I said in my reply; your symptoms are NOT suggestive of HIV infection, rather they are textbook examples of anxiety. I have white fingernails and I am sure that a lot of other people do as well!!! Also the timeframe in which you mention is too far aprt to be ARS.

I would advise that you go to your local GUM clinic. You don't have to give your real name and the results are not passed onto your GP. Get the HIV test done (I'm assuming that you have already been tested and treated for the Chlamydia infection?).

[wostar]

thankyou rob.

[wostar]

my symptoms just seem like they are all to do with hiv, and i feel so ill so im sure of it.