Lack of want/need romantic relationships?

[lintugamer]

Hello.
I'm wondering, is this normal, to just not care about romantically being with someone?  Firstly, I must add that I personally don't have a problem in any way with the way I am, and am only asking out of curiosity spurred on by the fact that it seems many other people find this to be quite abnormal behavior.  
I have been in relationships before, never for very long, however.  My longest one was 10 months, the second longest being only three (however I'd known the kid for a year beforehand).  Those were the only two committed relationships I've ever been in, and I had one other that lasted only a small while and was purely physical.  This was only occasional, however, and we never had sex.  I was sexually active with both of my committed relationships, however although I was 'ready' for it, I had no interest in it after about the second time.
I don't really understand relationships, or attraction.  I have experienced what I thought was love, but only for short periods of time (with each of my committed relationships).  After too long, I got sick of them, however, and gradually began to dislike, and eventually hate them.  The first didn't end very well, and we broke contact.  The second, I said we'd 'stay friends' with no intentions to actually do so.  He, however, didn't understand that I was abiding by formalities and has been continuing to try and speak with me, which drives me up the wall.  
I don't understand cuddling, kissing, etc.  It doesn't interest me.  People have to basically force me to give them a hug, and I always glare at them before doing so, a warning not worth ignoring for the next time they're looking for affection.  I don't like people, and have often been described as a 'robot' and 'having no feelings'.  I've also been described as a 'great person', and by the same people, 'vindictive, condescending, and manipulative'.  Which, is true.  I do tend to use people, but I don't really get what is so ridiculous about it.  I don't feel bad, and I get annoyed when other people expect me to.
I don't really get crushes on people, and if I do, they are rare and last very short.  I don't really have any sexual drive, and if I get any sexual urges, they fly off before I can even satisfy them.  I would love a friend to follow me around (and know when to leave me to myself) and be there, but I don't want romance, and I don't want sex.  I don't even feel like I can fully process what love or a want for a relationship is.  They seem stupid to me, a waste of time, and don't even get me started on marriage or children.  

[Rockie1234]

I think this got really out of hand four years ago. Looks like I'm late. It started off as ,,quiet" but then the rattle become louder and louder it's deafening me. Really? I believe she wanted people off her back, but instead, she got even more people on her back. I know you aren't doctors or anything, but you kind of acted like you were about to give the woman the notice of her like. That she's mentally disabled or something. The first time I read her post, I thought in 80% of what she's written that she described me. I also don't have any interest in romantic or sexual relationships. I find it really annoying. I don't have a problem with other people being like this, just don't include me. I have the slight interest in a friendship if the people are interesting. Only then. Just a thought overall..

[Rockie1234]

She doesn't sound like an ,,unpleasant" person to be around to me.

[vicki595]

Hi there-  I've read through this thread twice and really, it's amusing. You're pretty funny and,yes, sarcastic and "tongue in cheek".  I don't think you're abnormal; maybe just a bit unusual.

I think there may be many people just like you; they just don't talk about their feelings or lack of feelings! Most would find it aberrant!

Here's the thing that I think about. Are you a good person? Are you so cool that wouldn't help a person in need because you just can't relate? Do you cause others to feel hurt or abused by your lack of feeling/emotion?  I sense that you're not a mean girl...

What I really think is that you're emotionally walled off. A lot of it from the loss of Nana and your Mom's behaviour has a role in your emotional development, as well. But I'm not an expert...

Are you more or less content with your life right now? Do you feel like anything's missing? I hope you'll answer my questions; I can't help being interested because that's how I AM!  LOL

[Emily_MHManager]

Hi everyone -

Let's remember that we are a support forum, and while I am sure that was the intent, people can feel attacked if several people are going on and on about traits that may not be "normal", and sometimes even when people ask, they are surprised by the answers.

People come to MedHelp to get questions answered.  We don't need to continue to ask someone why they are here. If you are personally getting frustrated trying to make your point, it's better to walk away then have it turn into trying to win some debate or argument, which is what this turned into.  Even if Lintugamer has a hard time expressing feelings, or even identifying them, let's remember that she has feelings.

Emily

[RockRose]

You're not unwelcome here,  I think everyone is having kind of a hard time understanding exactly what you are saying.

Asperger's isn't a disease found "in small children".  It's typically NOTICED when children are small,  but certainly not always. And it doesn't go away.  Asperger's is for life.  

That no one ever diagnosed you with it is really beside the point - you've diagnosed yourself with a lot of the symptoms,  is what I'm saying.

[Nighthawk61]

In my opinion, you owe it to yourself to talk to a professional, because you can't know what you're missing. At the end of your life, you will regret not getting help with this. Love is what life is all about. I feel very sorry for you, and i mean that most humbly.