Lack of want/need romantic relationships?

[lintugamer]

Hello.
I'm wondering, is this normal, to just not care about romantically being with someone?  Firstly, I must add that I personally don't have a problem in any way with the way I am, and am only asking out of curiosity spurred on by the fact that it seems many other people find this to be quite abnormal behavior.  
I have been in relationships before, never for very long, however.  My longest one was 10 months, the second longest being only three (however I'd known the kid for a year beforehand).  Those were the only two committed relationships I've ever been in, and I had one other that lasted only a small while and was purely physical.  This was only occasional, however, and we never had sex.  I was sexually active with both of my committed relationships, however although I was 'ready' for it, I had no interest in it after about the second time.
I don't really understand relationships, or attraction.  I have experienced what I thought was love, but only for short periods of time (with each of my committed relationships).  After too long, I got sick of them, however, and gradually began to dislike, and eventually hate them.  The first didn't end very well, and we broke contact.  The second, I said we'd 'stay friends' with no intentions to actually do so.  He, however, didn't understand that I was abiding by formalities and has been continuing to try and speak with me, which drives me up the wall.  
I don't understand cuddling, kissing, etc.  It doesn't interest me.  People have to basically force me to give them a hug, and I always glare at them before doing so, a warning not worth ignoring for the next time they're looking for affection.  I don't like people, and have often been described as a 'robot' and 'having no feelings'.  I've also been described as a 'great person', and by the same people, 'vindictive, condescending, and manipulative'.  Which, is true.  I do tend to use people, but I don't really get what is so ridiculous about it.  I don't feel bad, and I get annoyed when other people expect me to.
I don't really get crushes on people, and if I do, they are rare and last very short.  I don't really have any sexual drive, and if I get any sexual urges, they fly off before I can even satisfy them.  I would love a friend to follow me around (and know when to leave me to myself) and be there, but I don't want romance, and I don't want sex.  I don't even feel like I can fully process what love or a want for a relationship is.  They seem stupid to me, a waste of time, and don't even get me started on marriage or children.  

[Londres70]

Just notice your profile picture....interesting and your profile summary about yourself:

"I'm 19, and I feel like I'm always afraid.  I haven't been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder but I'm 99% sure I have one.  I'm too scared to go to the doctors about it.  I'm not always happy, and I don't really know what to say.  I don't leave my house much, just to go to class and work."  

This sounds NOTHING like your posts in the forum...sounds like two different people posting, but what is concerning is that it is ONE person posting.  The profile summary is filled with emotion and your posts in the forum are filled with "0" emotion.  Just an observation.  

[nursegirl6572]

I agree completely with Londres, and funny, I was going to ask you how you viewed people.  You answered that already.

You really DO fut the antisocial mold pretty well, and sadly, a lot of those people go on to treat other humans VERY badly.....even horrible things.

I hope you decide to get some help, but otherwise, there isn't really must more we can tell you...especially with your total lack of willingness to even CONSIDER what we've said.

[Londres70]

BTW:  Having a "romantic relationship" is the LEAST of your WORRIES.....that's if you have any worries.  I wouldn't put to much emphasis into "wondering" about that.  

[Londres70]

I am not sure why exactly you posted here because you keep saying this is "you" and you aren't going to change UNLESS it has to be done.  Plus, you will be "pretending" to change.  WHY in the world do you WANT answers about things you AREN'T going to change anyways?  That MAKES "0" sense.  Then, you were asking about "online therapy" in another post which MH offers NO ONLINE THERAPY.  Online therapy as far as I know DOESN'T EXIST.  

Are you posting to defend how you are to us.....people who don't know you and aren't pressing you to change?  Who cares what we or others think is "normal" if you're comfortable in your own skin?  

You write like some sort of robotic machine talking in logic all the time, hense "clinical."  Your writing has NO emotion to it WHATSOEVER.....which is "you" that YOU AREN'T going to change.

I REALIZE therapy cost money and if you can't afford it so be it, but this forum isn't in lieu of a good therapist.  You should do yourself a favor and look into organizations or find a therapist that offer therapy at low cost/reduced fees.  YOU NEED A PSYCHIATRIST LIKE YESTERDAY.  

A  human not being able to express emotion and describes life and people as "annoying" is extremely scary to me....even dangerous.  

"As for defensive mechanisms, I've thought of that, but I really don't even get close to people.  I just see them as one of two things, tools, or obstacles.  Obstacles are to be dropped and disregarded, and tools to be used." ....... You don't even see others as "human beings?"  WHOA!  You sound like you could be someone's worse nightmare.....you sound like a "ticking time bomb" especially if you see people as "disposable."  I would hate to be that "person" annoying you to the point that you could do something "rash"....I am putting that mildly.  

I am surprised you haven't spend any time in jail or had brushes with the law because you sound like pure Psychopathic/Antisocial to me.  

Well....I will say YOU are BEYOND our scope.  

[lintugamer]

I really will probably never seek help unless forced to.  I did once as a younger kid, about 13, and it didn't go very well.  I was callous then, too, and they treated me like a punk kid that just wanted to cause trouble.  I really don't see the problem with the way I am, the reason I am posting here is partly in hopes that things might jump out.  Things I can pretend to change so people can get off my back.  As for my 'excuses', it truly *is* annoying to have somebody analyzing everything you say, and every move you make, looking for symptoms everywhere.  And as for the money issues, you people do realize it's about $80 a session?  That's a reason.  I'm not spending almost $300 a month for someone to tell me the way I'm wired is wrong or right, because either way, it's the way I'm wired--it won't change.

As for defensive mechanisms, I've thought of that, but I really don't even get close to people.  I just see them as one of two things, tools, or obstacles.  Obstacles are to be dropped and disregarded, and tools to be used.  

One last question, however.  How does my writing seem clinical?  I've heard that before and never really understood the statement.

[brice1967]

I agree with a couple of the posters above.  If there was "no problem", you wouldn't have come here because everything would have been "peachy".  It's okay to have issues and this is a great place to open up about them and get opinions and ideas on what to do.

With getting help, you labeled the experience as "annoying" and "also quite expensive".  That's fine... things can have labels.  I'll label them as "excuses" or reasons to not seek help.  Also, in the very same paragraph above you've said "I never put too much effort into explaining why I am the way I am".  That is the very basis in regards to therapy.  If you didn't get that far, now wonder why you found it of no use!

Therapy in the beginning for some people is kind of ugly because you have to expose your soft under belly and all of those secrets you've been packing around for years.  For others, it is an immediate relief.... "its out there now, I've broken the ice and its all clear sailing from here.".

You can do what you want obviously.  It is your life.  Your writing says so much more than you are really letting on too.  I really hope that you'd want to improve yourself.  I'd bet your probably a real wonderful person underneath all of those callouses.  :)